Friday, July 29, 2011

I practically killed a celebrity....and other stories in the news...

A famous chick came to my class last night. And during crow pose she sprained her wrist JUST as I was yelling at everyone "Don't wimp out in crow....DO IT!"

oops.

SO much for my celeb following. And on another note, what cracks me up living in LA is reading Yoga instructor bios. If your'e ever bored at work just go to any random LA yoga studio site and read the bios...WRITTEN by the teachers themselves btw. And you will find, 10 times out of 10, the words "Teaches classes around the world" (because they once showed their cousin a few poses in mexico)  "inspirational" and "CELEBRITY following." It's quite amusing. My MOST favorite though is when it's all "so and so has been practicing yoga since the age of 2..." Riiiiiighht.

But the REAL exciting news of the week is twofold. ONE...I figured out how to make Vegan Ranch Dressing!!!!! Life is complete. Must add this to my yoga bio. (and it tastes amazing, Bitches!) And TWO..


ANGRY. BIRDS. SHANGHAI EDITION.

'nuff said.

ps. Before you get all judgy, I just want to add that I spent countless brain cells and hours devising this vegan ranch recipe because if you BUY ranch mix it has "less than 2% buttermilk" which I would NOT have! SO I chopped up my own herbs and pepper and stuff and made my own....only to end up using it on regular cheese quesadillas. But hey...THE RANCH WAS VEGAN!!!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

awwww...who needs a hug today?


My week has turned rather annoying. My brand new vacuum broke...AGAIN. And though this is about to sound very whitey elitist...I fear that it's not the vacuum but the housekeeper who has now broken my washing machine, vacuum...TWICE, expensive coffee grinder and almost the dryer.  And she doesn't speak english so I cant even yell at her.

See? Assholes need hugz too!

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Dumb as They Come! or Do they have summer school for adults?

Really.

There are moments when I just have to shake my own head at myself for being the dumbest person I know. It's like, did I even GO to college?? Is this old age? Or genetic. I feel like I USED to be very smart. And then one day I woke up and was all "what's this stupid facebook thingie?"

This is how I felt the other day when my mom said "can you even believe this casey Anthony trial?"
and I said "really? there's a trial for exposing yourself on the internet? Did he get arrested for the whole twitter thing??"

My mom looked at me dumbfounded. "NO. CASEY Anthony. The woman who murdered her CHILD?!?!"

I hadn't even heard of this. But of course I said "oohhh! yah! Of course. I heard you wrong!"

LIE.

I just thought that people were calling The Anthony Weiner stuff "Casey Anthony" for some strange reason.

If that had been an exchange with a friend I would have admitted my stupidity. But admit to MY MOM??? that I'm dumber and more out of the loop that HER??

NEH. VER.

I blame Twitter wars and Hangin' with Friends and my new obsession with walking to audio books. Sure I've lost 40 lbs...but I don't even know who's running for President! I DO know however, that Ashton Kutcher stopped his war with Village Voice over sex trafficking and that Dooce is accused of being a poverty tourist and that the word "shovel" stumps people in hangin' every. single. time.

I really need to branch out  to something more mainstream media. Like the NEWS news. And no, not US weekly news. At LEAST People magazine.  At least!