QUOTE OF THE DAY

"I'm like 17. Which means in a year or two I'll be like 18"
-Alexa (O.C. teenager)


What can I say? It has been raining here for DAYS. And I LOVE IT! For me? Rain means TV/Books/Mugs of coffee/never getting out of bed. I did manage to drag myself to target yesterday and bought the softest powder blue blanket ever. I'm pretty sure it was maybe meant for babies, but I SO don't care. I mean, it's a queen size. So I'm just HOPING it was meant for adults. REALLY REALLY LAZY adults!

That blanket is the reason why I didn't make it out of bed until noon today. And when I did drag my ass to actual work I just kept dreaming of rushing home back to my blanket.

But this is all normal for a rainy day. No? I think this is why going to utah for college was a bad idea. There's a REASON it took me 6 (7?) yrs to graduate.

But no matter. Has anyone seen the promos for the new season of "celebrity apprentice?" WELL, they VERY MUCH use the term "celebrity" VERY VERY VERY VERY loosely. And often in the promos these alleged celebrities need to remind us of who they WERE. And I just about fell over in my chair (bed) when a guy comes on and says "I am the #1 highest grossing comedian in the US!"

You dare to guess who it is? Robin Williams? Chevy Chase? Will Ferrell? Chris Rock? Don Rickles? Jerry Seinfeld?

uh uh.

THE NUMBER ONE COMEDIAN IN US HISTORY IS>>>>


SINBAD.

#1. IN THE US.

HAAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! DE.LU.SION.AL.

God was all up in Heaven going "OH. MY. SELF."

Needless to say I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Sometimes I think I should get a real job. Like for instance right now VIcki on Real Housewives is having a "staff meeting" where she's surprising everyone with a botox-spraytan party at the office. I really feel like I might just be missing out in the work force somehow.

My blanket is calling....

Sometimes I feel so dump

I got this "comment" yesterday on an old post. It is VERY entertaining. I think it must be the owner of Engrish.com.

Good day, sun shines!
There have were times of troubles when I felt unhappy missing knowledge about opportunities. I was a dump and downright stupid person. I have never thought that there weren't any need in large starting capital.
Now, I feel good, I started take up real income - that is incorporate it in real business, parts and divides the profit with me.
You can get interested, if there are such firms? I'm obliged to answer the truth, YES, there are.

This is the very reason I will not ever have word verifications.

it's the "economy." The really bad "economy."

A conversation via skype with my friend today.

ME: Hey! Guess what? I just rented my guest bedroom! Now I can buy that $2,000 Marc Jacobs dress at Bloomies! pay my $2,000 Vet bill!!!

HER: That is Awesome! Congratulations. That must be a huge relief.

ME: It is. And he paid cash and everything already. He's SUPER nice and I can TELL he's normal.

HER: Oh good. What's his name?

ME:---------

HER: What are you doing? why are you looking down and typing?

ME: ummmmm....I'm just. doing. something.

HER: OH MY GOD! You don't even KNOW HIS NAME??

ME: welllll...hang on. I'm just. uh. checking my emails. It's confusing and all. with all the people I interviewed and stuff.

HER: Well, what's his first name at least?

ME----------

HER: YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIS FIRST NAME?!?!?!

ME: {frantically checking emails, stalling) well, I mean, he's from canada! And he's like married and stuff! And he's a film editor or director or something! And he has a wife! In canada! And that means he's normal! annnnndddd.....JOHN! His name is JOHN!!!

HER: {stern face glaring at me through my computer screen}


Okay, well, to be fair, I have GREAT intuition on these things. I KNOW PEOPLE. mostly. except for that one girl who stole all my most expensive shoes.

Oh, and that other one who's name I forget who snuck out in the middle of the night ne'er to return again.

Oh, and the one "actor" A-hole.

Okay. FIne. He's probably setting up his meth lab on my antique desk as I type. But hey! HE PAID IN CASH!

Friday. yah. Friday.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

"Vegetarians will be the first to go. That's my plan. Vegans haven't got a hope. "I eat air, I'm so healthy..." Bollocks!"
-THIS BLOG

Aforementioned blog is HILARIOUS!

Annnnd. That's all I got. It's friday night...after a whole week of being sick in bed. I SOMEHOW managed to drag my weakened, pale, recovering self to the Grove today. Nordstrom IS known to be a beacon of healing; a halfway house, as it were. But that's it. Unless you want to catch up on Dr. oz and people's court...i got nuthin.

Oh yah, and this also cracked me up!

PS. I just wanted to take a moment to thank my GENIUS Vet who gave me meds to make Mick "feel better" WITH the instructions to not take him to the park for another week. This is what I have to look forward to for another week.

Mamma always said "no such thing as a free ride" I shoulda listened to that.

I have the worst cold :( And it's the kind of cold that 3 yr olds get. Runny, snotty, stuffy nose, sneezing fits. I can't even get a regular adult-like flu.

AND I have to carry KLEENEX IN MY POCKET! DO you even know how 'old lady' that makes me feel? Kleenex. In the pocket. I may as well be 85 with an AARP card in my wallet daydreaming about Gus Witherspoon.


And while I'm complaining, let's just talk about the concept of a "free dog" I mean, who can say NO to that face?

JUST SAY NO to that face!!

This dog has allergies. He has to eat the most expensive "wild salmon" food in the world! Also, he's allergic to the soil in our neighborhood. Of course. So he has to go on antibiotics every 6 months AND has to have a special shampoo that seriously rivals any Kerastase product out there. HE has to have organic $20 a bag wheat-free treats.

THEN last night I took him to the vet because he has had a limp that has gone on too long. And don't you know he had to have a million dollars worth of Xrays, had to have anesthesia so he'd stay still for said xrays and as it turns out he has a slightly bad right hip, WHICH means daily supplements AND daily anti-inflammatory FOR LIFE.

Seriously, He's costing me more monthly than a VW car payment.

Just so you know. NO SUCH THING AS A FREE DOG.

sigh. I mean. I love him and all. I guess.

I watched Julie & Julia last night, which was SO good. And most of it is Julia Childs living in France. And I started CRYING....partly the movie, and partly cuz I was all "I COULD BE LIVING IN FRANCE IF I DIDN'T HAVE THESE DOGS!!" And then I looked at them snoring on MY bed and scowled.

I wonder if moms of kids ever get this way. Is this a mid-life crisis?

I'm going back to bed. That's the only thing good about being sick. You don't have to justify naps and/or Midday Law & order Marathons on TNT.

Keeping Psychiatrists in business since 1965

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"did you ever think that there's more to life than being really really really really really really ridiculously good looking?"
-zoolander

I taught GENTLE yoga this morning. And this big guy came in with some serious bling.

ANYWAY. He had a HUGE gold chain on. Annnnnd, we did this thing where you lie on your back on a block so your head tilts back a lot. His gold necklace kept sliding up his neck, choking him. Did he take it off? no way. This other time a woman came in with a ROCK on her finger. And she kept gauging herself with it. Why am I telling you this? Cuz it makes me laugh. People are so stupid.

And on that note, I am still recovering from the cuckoo's nest Christmas with my family. You have to understand something. GETTING to my dad's house in N. CA takes LONGER than if I flew to Paris. Talk about trains planes and automobiles! And on part of the FOUR HOUR drive, AFTER the flight, is the windiest road in the history of all windy roads! These roads go through thick redwood (or whatever big trees are) forest where there is no light or living beings or starbucks for MILES. When you do finally break through the Hobbit forest and see the ocean and light of day, you're so sick and disoriented you can't even appreciate it.

Add to that a day of eating nothing but cheese and butter brickle and it's no wonder the fam turns feral.

The best part of going home for Christmas though? ASIDE from being able to observe the mental patients otherwise known as my relatives?

Going through the family album. So I can, here on this blog and forever more emblazoned on the internet, post the very pics that represent who we are.

I could really rock the plaid as a kid. Seriously. Stylin.


This is my older brother, Andre the Giant, with the best wedgie EVER. Jack Tripper would be proud.


This is my dad. Who clearly didn't get the memo about not wearing your cub scout shorts past the age of 11.


This is my older bro, younger bro, and younger sis. But that's no matter. The point is, check out that two toned blue shag carpeting and faux wood paneling ON THE CEILING. That there was our prize van. It had a bean bag too. And that couch pulled out into a bed. Don't be mad that we were so VERY ahead of that Partridge bus.

(what is WITH my bro and the shorty shorts? Is he even WEARING pants?)


Me (plaid jumpsuit!) with my baby bro...awww.


Annnnd this is my stylin' bro with my baby sis.


So, see? it's no WONDER most of us need meds now. And this is only HALF my family. Some people have skeletons in their closet? I got these guys. And you wonder why I'm still single?

"hey! what year did you graduate!?"...."TEN. JUST TEN."

Seriously.

Jan 2nd is SO depressing.

Christmas lights go from cozy/warm/fuzzy to section-8 housing tenement in ONE DAY.

I mean, I've had so much time off I don't even know what to do with myself this weekend. And I have a CHUNK of bills/junk mail/LATE bills that blinks at me like my loser christmas lights every time I walk past them...a cruel reminder of 2009's procrastination and heavy spending all stuffed in an envelope.

I have Vet AND Dental appts. next week which, I assure you, will guarantee I have no travel/shoe money for the remainder of 2010. And we're only 2 days in.

Also? I just REALLY don't like this whole "10" business. How are we supposed to say that? "Hey....rememeber the bad music of the TENS?!" I'm gonna miss you, OH-NINE. Because now we're in TEN. Just TEN.

And going to the gym this morning was dismal. Everyone looked a pale shade of...grey. I forced myself to look down and march slowly into lock down the yoga room. I made sure I was a little late so I couldn't then try to escape. You can't be late AND leave early.

And then I think...ANOTHER year of the gym? REALLY!?!?!

Then I come home and start my New year's mini-resolutions. I like to take baby steps in my resolutions. They're more like, Resolutinis. They look like this..

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTINIS 2010
1. Pay cell phone bill
2. Get milk at grocery store
3. MAKE dentist appt. (for 2011)
4. Take new modem out of box (for 2011 install)
5. Put yoga mat in car for possible use

WHEW! That is SOME list! See? Jan 2 already feels overwhelming. I think I need a croissant or something to make me feel better.

On the other hand, Millionaire Matchmaker and MANY other amazing educational shows premier in the coming weeks. And if the Lifetime Movie Trailers for '10 are any indicator of the year ahead, well then, TEN is gonna be an amazing year! Even if it IS only one syllable!

Ahhh....HOPE at the end of a really annoying tunnel!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

This is what passes as Christmas in my house this morning.



I spent the whole of Christmas Eve making our Grandmother's secret toffee recipe with my Aunt and my awesome cousin (we talked all night about family secrets and she told me lots of stuff about my dad)(ooooh boy do I KNOW STUFF)

I made A LOT of toffee. Like, A LOT A LOT. So, in contrast to my starvation diet, here's EXACTLY what I ate yesterday.

Two choc croissants and double mocha =Breakfast
Large iced mocha at the mall=morning snack
half box of the BEST mini gingerbread cookies from trader joes=lunch
undisclosed amount of toffee=dinner....carried over to breakfast NOW!

I'm just glad Dr. Drew doesn't do food rehab. woo ee!

AM about to leave for airport where I will then eat toffee on the plane whilst my seat neighbors eat their peanuts. I am SO excited to see what Santa left for me at my parent's house! It BETTER BE GOOD! (I'm looking at YOU dad)

So, MERRY CHRISTAMS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD FLIGHT! (ha! again. made that one up on the fly!)(get it..fly...FLY! HA!)

Do they know it's Christmas time at alllllll.....

I was stuck in traffic coming home from Santa Monica. And LO, there to my left my wandering eyes did see....The most amazing lights EVER. Luckily I was in non-moving traffic, otherwise I mighta wrecked. My first thought was "wait. did I make a wrong turn at Disneyland?"And then I realized it was The LA Mormon Temple.

Verily. I was in awe.

Now, say what you will about the Mormons, But these guys can..
A. sing
B. bake
and C. DE-CO-RATE!!
(the Mormon Religion is the Martha Stewart of religions)

Also. I lived in Salt lake for 6 yrs or so (whatever time it was that took me to graduate college) and I probably saw THOSE Christmas lights every year. And let me just tell you that LA Mormon Temple Lights kick Salt Lake Temple lights ASS!







These pics don't even do it justice AT ALL. I tried taking iphone pics but they are laughably lame. And it's not just that there were pretty lights....they were all artistic. The palm trees looked like fireworks. And one GIANT tree looked like a hot air balloon.

See? we can all get a holiday lesson out of this. We seem to be obsessed with all the ways in which different religions DISagree with each other. But, I ain't no scientist or nuthin', but I bet if we were to do a pie chart and power point presentation, we would find that the religions of the world have MORE stuff in common than not.

So, I say, TIS THE SEASON to look at the similarities!

Let's go back to decorating, for instance. The Catholics can really tear up a Cathedral ceiling or two. And they really do make a mean fountain. And the protestants, well, I SUPPOSE if you were really into crystal, the you'd agree that the crystal cathedral is beautiful.

(I guess)(if you're into tammy faye)(and you used to watch a lot of Dynasty)

Now, the buddhists can REALLY decorate a garden. And what is more beautiful than the decorated Pagan Christmas tree? And the Jews?

ummm....


welllll...

Okay, not so much. But they have REALLY good deli food!! SO, that counts.

See how much we can appreciate stuff from ALL religions?! (except those crazy Scientology freaks! I mean, ALIENS? REALLY?)

HAHA! Juuuuuuuuuust Kidding! (kinda)

Peace on Earth even if Earth is going down in flames...

There is just NOTHING, I mean NOTHING that puts me in better holiday spirits than when I walk out of the grocery store after working AND taking a neurotic spin class only to have some crazy perky hippie yell at me "DO you have a moment for starving abused orphaned children?!?!?!"

Because, NO. NO I DO NOT. Real Housewives is starting and my Tivo is on the fritz.

I've also been accosted with "DO YOU CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT ENOUGH TO STOP FOR 2 SECONDS?"

Again. Nope.

I ALWAYS feel bad. And then I get pissed. Because these people are multiplying like rabbits! And I swear, they're always in front of places that are totally frivolous, and i am walking into or out of said place. Like the nail salon or starbucks or Nordstrom, inevitably with my arms heavily laden with bags. THEN you feel like a real asshole, when you're loaded up with bling and you're all "NO! I don't care about abandoned baby whales!"

Whatever happened to the humble little guy who rang a bell with a bucket? Where is he? I haven't seen a bell ringer all season. I HAVE however, seen MANY a REI/Birkenstock/wool sock/olive-earth toned clad 20 yr old, making me feel bad.

Add to this that my cable box in my bedroom is broken and it makes for a non-festive me.

So, if you're going through this too, here....THIS will cheer you up.

Just wish they'd come to MY neighborhood.

WHY God? WHY?????

Ummmm. Is there a REASON? A REAL REASON? For women to stand in the gym locker room with a towel around their waist covering their girly bits BUT naked from the waist up?! REALLY? You need to blow dry your hair with Gagney and Lacey hanging around? While you style your bangs? Would a bra REALLY be so stifling? I mean COME ON! You're not a hippie feminist when you go to the most expensive meat market gym in all of So Cal. And Heads up...it's the LADIES LOCKER ROOM. We don't care. We don't wanna see your BOOB JOB bouncing around while you flat iron your extensions. It makes getting to the bathroom stalls a mine field. I just don't GET it. I just wanna know why? And you don't seem to be in any hurry. You guys MEANDER around.

I hate the gym. It's the devil's lair. THIS is what happens in purgatory. I'm sure of it. It's a fiery pit treadmills, trainers, and naked boob jobs. I'd think twice about 'bearing false witness' and 'honoring thy mother and father' from now on. HEED MY WARNING!

The anti-starvation diet

I just ate dinner at a French restaurant. WHY aren't the French super fat? WHY?!? I have been on the starvation diet* (patent pending) for 7 weeks and 3 days....but who's counting? I think we ordered just about everything on the menu. You think I'm exaggerating? We took that place down faster than Jean Val Jean can steal a loaf of bread! Voila!


Speaking of bread..OH THE BREAD THERE!!! It was all like pretty leaves, and...and...it came with the best butter in the history of all butters and it was SOFT, not all hard...

I have to go pass out now. WIne was involved too. Besides. I have to REdecorate my house tomorrow....SOMEone decided to buy fancy new LED lights for the outside trees...And now Scully and Mulder are staking the place.




I'm thinking it's less "born in a manger" and more "delivered by aliens into the manger"

MERRY XfilesMAS!!!

KK's Favorite things 2009

It's LIKE the Oprah show. Only BETTER! (If by better you mean the gifts are WAY more creative and you won't get any for free)

I know you've all been waiting! After last's year's pure genius gifting tips Here you go...

Suddenly there will be no more trips to the dentist where he's all "do you floss everyday?" and you're all YAH! for SURE! EVERYDAY! And then he cleans your teeth and you bleed like an extra on Law & order. Cuz you WILL floss with this! (PS...now you know my secret to the starvation diet. I have the truffle and chili fries version too!)



I just think this is really sweet This is my Other favorite




SOAPSICLES! AND they DON'T DISCRIMINATE

SO cute RIght?


Also? This is a NECESSITY in SOME households. I'll use it as a GUIDE when I go home for Christmas.

THIS one is called "the poof." Be careful relatives...I'm on to you!





WHAT the heck is better than....GINGERBREAD YOGA FATTY'S!

(I'm pretty sure this is EXACTLY what I look like when I do yoga.)
(ps. I think the warrior 1 gingerbread man is a little light in the loafers if you know what I mean)
(pps. NOT that that's bad. Gay Gingers have their rights too!)
(although a TRUE gingerbread nellie would NEVER sport a pot-belly like that)
Anyway...
This site also has the cutest mini gingerbread houses. Most of you guys are pretty crafty...so this is more of an idea for you to make yourself. I, however would have to BUY them, else mine would be more of a mini gingerbread crack house in need of an EXTREME home mini-makeover.



For your inner stepford wife. You can wear this while you make your mini gingerbread houses....APRON

...OR this gingerbread MANSION/CASTLE/FORTRESS Bundt Cake Pan

I'd like to see the fruitcake that comes outta this bad boy!


For the Middle Eastern/American in your life? I just NEVER know what to get them. UNTIL NOW

Hmmmm....baseball cap? Turban? baseball cap. turban. Which to chose??? WAIT! I know!


I think this is the BEST idea. Also just fun. Now, if only they'd have a Sharipe monthly delivery! Oh well, we'll just have to useCOLORED PENCIL DELIVERY for now.



And for the writer in your life? (And by "writer" I mean like, "writing" the grocery list) WHo wouldn't want a SPACE PEN? WHO?! This pen was invented for NASA. It writes upside down, under water, over grease, in freezing cold, boiling heat, and in outer space! Gives your to-do list more TA-DA! (hahaha! I made that up. God I'm good)

Have a coffee lover in your life? Tired of giving them a mug? (cuz let me tell you they're tired of GETTING mugs)(I've heard) Now, THIS PRESENT would go even better with a brand new espresso machine plugged into it! It may be illegal to talk on your cell in the car...but It's not illegal to make espresso! HA!



Ah. Remember how we used to ride our bikes around the gated communityhood with a giant boombox on the handlebars, blaring New Kids or Morrisey? Well, NOW there's THIS And JUST as loud!! And don't worry you older readers, I'm SURE it fits nicely on a hov-a-round or a walker.

And don't worry...you can still LOOK oldschool



LOVE this product. For when you want to frame someone you LOVE....without the commitment. I mean, you never know when hubby's gonna forget your ben & Jerry's one night. It's a nice reminder that he is but a mere thumbtack away from extinction!



Ever cooking, say, spaghetti and you're all "I just WISH I had some fresh basil!" Well wish no more my friends. The answer is right at the tip of your fingers....or forehead. Gives a whole new meaning to "hanging plant."


We're all headed here anyway...so may as well get the lovely single girl in your life one to start her off. (THANK GOD they don't make a "crazy dog lady" one. phew!)



These are SUPER fun for decorating. My favorite is the "faux China" but I spent MANY hours on this site going through them all. I especially LOVE this site because it gives me ideas so I can pester my "vinyl machine owning" friends to replicate! (Dede...I'm looking at you)



Lookin' to Spice things up in the kitchen? Get it? spice? SPICE? chuck chuck. K, fine. I would get all excited about these. Just FIND me a lady who doesn't love a good jar/lid combo!


And here is some HOPE-IN-A-JAR! It could only be made better if it came with a side of nutella...hmmmmm...


Rain Rain....Don't go away....

'Tis the Season to be exercisey, fa la la la la....La. La. La. La.

Ok. Ok. I am here. I deeply apologize to all of my fans and followers and worshippers for being gone for so long. I mean, people have been in an UPROAR about this. Sending me FB messages, texts, threatening emails...begging me, pleading with me, screaming at me to write a post!!

OR

maybe one person commented "where are you?"

Either way. I'm HEEEEEEEEEre.

It's VERY difficult to write anything when you are starving. See, the starvation diet, though VERY successful, doesn't bode well for writing. Why? because it's a full-time job! I have been doing nothing else but my starvation diet and working out. ANd then when I get home I am too weak/tired to do ANYTHING but watch The City and The Hills. Seriously, I have to take supplements just to get through the thought provoking 'Gossip Girl.'

Oh, and when I go to post and I have to re-sign in? oh no. I just don't have the energy to type my entire username and password. THAT would require at least 100 more calories per day.

So, today? I had an extra shot of espresso and two, yes TWO slices of toast. So I am ALL amped up and ready to write!

So let's back this truck up!, shall we?

PREQUEL to Thanksgiving

I figured out the secret to life this week. Seriously. Pull up a chair, put your feet up, get your bi-focals and TAKE NOTES....This is guaranteed to CHANGE.YOUR.LIFE.

If you're anything like me, you TOTALLY roll your eyes in complete disgust/mystery when you hear people saying crazy stuff like "I'm running the turkey trot!" on Thanksgiving morning. Or, "I'll be right over for dinner AFTER I run the 2,000k triathalon this morning! Gotta work up an appetite!!"

I usually want to scalp these people, as I'm sure our indian ancestors would have done.

AND VERILY IT CAME TO PASS....

THIS year I decided I would do a spin class TG morning. A 50 minute hard class with my ONLY favorite teacher. Had he not been teaching I would NEVER had entertained such a hideous plan. The plan WAS I would go to this 9am class and be home a little after 10, cook some, set the table, clean the house, etc.

Ever heard the phrase "wanna make God laugh? Make plans."

Pre-prequel: fellow fitness instructors are NOT allowed to take classes that are full. And this spin class was FULL. You sign up 26 hrs in advance and it is usually full in seconds, which often means that people have to set their alarms at 4 am the PREVIOUS day just to wake up and sign up for a spin class. (spin people have serious issues)(but not me!) But the instructor became the man he is from coming to MY classes, so he said he would sneak me in. I wore a hat and sunglasses and everything. Over the top? perhaps. But look who DIDN'T get fired!

Back to the main story...(and I use the term story very VERY loosely here)
I'm all up on my bike, incognito, minding my own business when I hear the instructor-previously-known-as-my-friend say "OKAY FOLKS! BLAH BLAH BLAH INSPIRATIONAL TALK BLAH BLAH.......NINETY MINUTES!"

Say wha?

My head spins around to see if anyone ELSE is confused. They are. Panicked. We all look around as he maniacally laughs, as he says, drunken with power, "Yah! That's right. NINE. O. And if you aren't staying that long please leave because there are people here waiting for a bike!"

SO. NO one left. AND, I was trapped. I certainly couldn't leave because the guy is my friend and he risked his JOB for me.

How do I find myself in these situations? HOW?

And HERE my friends, the story comes full circle. Because THIS is what will forever change your holidays as you know it.

The spin class? PURE brilliance. Sure, I couldn't walk. BUT, I got out of any and ALL cooking. AND My friends were so impressed/guilty that they were all "NO...you sit down. What do you want to drink. We'll bring the food out. Just sit." And "NO, we'll do the clean-up...you've done enough!"

NOW I know why people do Turkey Trots and marathons and what-not on holidays. I will no longer snicker behind their backs and roll my eyes and call them psychotic exercise-a-holic idiots on my blog. I will now just wink in conspiracy because I KNOW. I KNOW YOUR TRICK!

NEW TOPIC

Here is something I don't love. Seeing giant rat traps in the parking lot of my favorite restaurant. hmmmm.

Here is something ELSE I don't love. I took yoga at a new studio. In the middle of class I smelled baking. Pastry smells. Cookies. And it got stronger and stronger. I was DYING. When I got outside I looked around. Let me tell you the line-up.

PinkBerry. Baskin Robbins. Yoga studio. 'Crumbs' cupcake bakery. For real. Not going back. (for yoga anyway)

Okay. I just burned up my daily calories typing. I'm getting dizzy. Time for another tic-tac!

Lame and late

quote of the day: "Money is a girl's best friend. And I love my friends." -Real Housewives of OC

I have started about 5 posts this week. But never finished any. Why? Well, let me give you the blogger's top 10 list of reasons (Bloggers LOVE LOVE LOVE to list things!)

10. I have been bitter and angry about the release of the Starbucks Christmas RED cup. WHich is SUPPOSED TO BE RED. But for SOME reason they changed it this year!!! WHY?! WHY?!?!? DId SANTA ever change his suit from red to DARK MAUVE?!?! MAUVE! I bet Baby Jesus is MAD too. I mean, after ALL THESE YEARS of celebrating his Bday you think he'd just go and be all...."THIS year it's gonna be PLATINUM, Frankincense and Myhrr. And next year we may just eliminate Myhrr all together." Thanks for ruining Christmas, Starbucks!

9. I have been on a starvation/workout plan. This makes me dizzy and weak and unable to type coherent sentences. This is me eating my Lunch.


8. I WENT TO KITTYCON on THURSDAY!!! A Hello Kitty 35 yr Anniversary Exhibit.
I SWORE I wouldn't buy ANYTHING...



BUT...When it comes to something like, collecting valuable artwork? wellllllll, it doesn't make SENSE NOT to, you know, INVEST.

(I could only afford 4...SO I got Prince, Elton, Boy George, and Elvis)(I mean....how could I NOT!?!?!?)(And I may or may not have purchased this watch)
(what? I'm saving A LOT of money on NOT eating mass amounts of junk food)

7. All the time consumed staring at my hello kitty watch.

6. My new obsession with documenting Mick and Linus' love affair.


5. Devising recipes that turn my favorite foods into starvation friendly meals! Maybe I'll publish a cookbook.

4. H&M released the Jimmy Choo Line on Saturday....which took up my WHOLE weekend. But.....




........YAY JIMMY CHOO H&M!!! I can now look like a HIGH CLASS hooker! No more slum hooking for me!

3. Taking pics of Jimmy Choo H&M stuff

2. Trying on, and falling over in Jimmy Choo H&M!

1. WAITING FOR MY BIRTHDAY PRESENTS TO ARRIVE IN THE MAIL!!!!!!!!!

Veteran's day!

I got this from the twitter feed of Jennsylvania.com. Made me cry.

And cry.

And cry.

So, go here. And bring your kleenex.

'Tis the season

'nuf said

If you're REALLY REALLY BORED....

This is a DEEP meaningful, ne RELIGIOUS message. Mick has spent the last two months chasing Linus around the house. Now, he is SO desperate to play with SOMEthing, he and Linus have "found" each other. They have crossed the cultural and racial lines to come together as ONE. I think we could ALL learn from their wise lesson. Can't we all just get along? YES. YES WE CAN!

MONDAY NOVEMBER 2nd!

ALL

YOU

NEED

TO

KNOW

ABOUT

TODAY

IS

THAT

IT'S....

FIFTEEN (15) DAYS AWAY FROM MY BIRTHDAY!