Tuesday, September 19, 2006

i am citizen, no?

I am in NYC right now. Haven't had time to post b/c computer has been tempermental and I have been spending all free time enjoying TOO much coffee, so I can't exactly think...or rather my thoughts race so fast I can't type. anyhoo, so I was on the subway today, standing, and the guy sitting next to me was studying what could only have been a citizenship test. It was half in russian or something, and then half in english. So I was reading the questions on the whole page, and I can honestly say that I did not know even ONE answer. not ONE. I would have WAY failed the citizenship test. There were trickster questions like
1.what job does congress do?
2.how many senators do we have?
3.what is the job of the supreme court?
4.who elects congress?
5.who makes the laws?
6.what is the house of representatives made of?
7.name 2 of your state's senators.

here were my quick answers...

1.mmm...i dunno
2.a lot? 12?
3.to make laws?
4.ummm, .......THE PRESIDENT! (i know THAT one!)(oops, not really)
6.umm, congress?
7.oh, uh, what's his name. that one guy.

***note to all my zealous DC friends and Jason....I don't NEED to know the answers, because I already know that every one of them was wrong, so as you're rolling your eyes in disbelief, calm those fingers down and DO NOT send me the correct answers. ignorance, is in fact, BLISS.

Here's the point, if stuff like that were relevant OR important, then it would be on TV. A LOT. and it isn't. DO I know how many judges are on AMERICAN Idol? YES! 3! I ain't no retard! I AM AN AMERICAN!!! How many channels on AMERICAN cable...300! how many seasons of AMERICA'S next top model....5! I am a true red/white and blue all the way. I LOVE apple pie.

So I really think the test needs to reflect current american values. oh and also, a quick thanks to my polish and mexican ancestors...god bless em, for passing that heinous test so I wouldn't have to! PHEEEEEE-eeeewww! My ass would be back across the border. Good thing they don't do random citizen testing. (see, we don't REALLY care about all that gov'mint stuff, or they WOULD do random citizen testing!)

ALL i'm saying is this...is it really fair to put the poor immigrants through unnecessary torture for useless outdated information. shouldn't they just be given a map of the mall, all starbucks locales and an US weekly? A dictionary for all idiomatic expressions like "it's allllll good" and "wassup?" and "totally lame" "grande latte" and stuff like that. I'm just saying.


Joe said...

yes, you are the very embodiment of the modern american. god help us all.

greeps said...

Sorry, but anyone who is anyone knows that ANTM does not have "seasons," but rather "cycles." Grade: D

vanessa said...

I check and I check but nothing??? Busy? Or just playing hard to get?