Thursday, September 30, 2010

Thursday mash-up


"You could taste the resentment in her cookie"
-judge on Top Chef Just Desserts

RE: Glee's Britney Episode....I'm only gonna say this once cuz it's just embarrassing...john stamos has never been hotter.

Also for my one friend, you know who you are, who 5 yrs ago said, and I quote "I'm sorry, but Britney is totally OVER." 


It's hard always being right. but SOMEone's gotta do it.

UNRELATED: (but in the theme of music)
Here's a video for your almost-friday-but-not-quite-day. Oh man. This cracked me up. I'm gonna start doing this for when people annoy me in class. It's a long one but It's worth it. watch it during your lunch break or something.  mmmm...lunch....not a good sign to be craving lunch already at 8 am.....but mmmm, LUNCH!!!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Seriously. I can barely type. My fingers have melted into the keys. This has, thus far been the CRAPPIEST fall in the history of all Falls. Can I just tell you that it was 113 degrees on monday. 113! In downtown LA. They THINK, because actually once it hit 113 the thermometer broke.

Which brings me to the poor poor state of Ca that the entire city of LA has only ONE thermometer apparently. And YET Lloyd, the park caretaker at my local park, was showing off the new fancy park garbage cans which are electronic and have a light telling you when it's full or not. Hmmmmmm. Well, anyway, Lloyd LOVES those cans so that makes me happy. Especially since last month he was bitching to me about how he now has to take forced friday no pay furloughs. They can't pay the park people but they CAN pay for electronic garbage cans. hmmmmmm.

But whatevs. I saw two AWESOME movies this week. The Social Network (MUST SEE!) and Wall Street (ALSO MUST SEE!) When the weather is scary hot, movies are the way to go. So go see those movies!! (although seeing two movies where people are dealing in the BILLION dollar spending bracket, your target bargain buys may seem less significant)

And for my last am I supposed to buy hoards of halloween candy bars when it's too damn hot to eat them?????

Monday, September 27, 2010

Some stuff to make your MONDAY better! ROCKS!! (you'll be humming this all day. trust.) (if it doesn't make you smile all day long, you might be needing "depressed turtle" --see below)

On other fronts, A german toy company has released Stuffed animals with mental illnesses! 

HAHA! FINALLY! Man, when I was a kid the most we ever had as diversity was a black baby doll. If someone had just given me OCD hippo I wouldn't have felt like such an outsider! And seriously, don't you just wanna give depressed turtle one giant hug!? Would my sister in law be offended if I got one of these for her new nursery?? I'm loving the identity crisis sheep, which for all purposes, might actually be useful for my poor soon to be born irish/polish niece or nephew.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Friday, September 24, 2010

J. out! There's a new Automation in town!

This is a boy band music video ad....


"pipettin' all those well plates baby, sends your thumbs into over dri-ive... Spendin' all nights in a lab makes it hard for your love to thri-ive..."

yes. yes it DOES make it hard for my love to thrive!

Make sure you watch to the end because it just gets better and better and yes you WILL be humming this tune....Girl, it's time to automa-ate!!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

I'm thinking my new name will be "K money dawg"

Last night in Hip Hop, a brotha came up to me after class. He said, and I quote "GIRL....I don't know who you are but you BETTER be comin' back every single day because I saw you and you got it! GIRL...YOU.GOT.IT!(snaps his fingers)

Oh, and before you ask.
1. No, he's not blind (I don't think)
2. No, he's not special ed. (pretty sure)
3. NO, he's NOT from the insane asylum (most likely)
4. NO, he's not the owner who just wants my $$$ (is he?)

He just CLEARLY recognizes latent hipster talent when he sees it.

THAT or maybe he was just encouraging the poor fatty oldie whitey spaz in the back.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


If this doesn't make your day I don't know what will.

Yep. i STILL got it~I'm HAUTEyogabitch

I was flipping through "the top 10 hair trends for fall" and I almost fell off my bed to see that MY HAIR IS TRENDY AGAIN!!!!

I am SO relieved. JUST when I was gonna drop a full car payment on a Brazilian blow dry! Yippee! I wonder when lunch lady arms will be back in?!?! It's around the corner. I can feel it!!

Monday, September 20, 2010

just sad

Has it seriously been 2 whole weeks since I've blogged?? Seriously? I think this is a serious sign that all I've been doing for 2 whole weeks is watching HGTV. I'm on a downward spiral here. I probably need an intervention of some kind. I haven't even watched ANY normal shows (well, except the housewives and the kardashians)(if you can call those normal)(which you really can't)

ANYWAY....I'm even watching Divine Design as we speak. And yes. yes I have registered to win the Urban Oasis apt. in NYC.

Old age is not suiting me well. These are shows MY PARENTS WOULD BE WATCHING.



I've been taking hip hop classes. yah. you read that right.



Can we say DENIAL folks?! If I were a guy, hip hop classes would be my hairplugs.

It's tragic. I need a vacation. Or SOMEthing. Someone write a letter about me to Dr. Phil. QUICK! Save me!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS. ANyone watching "thintervention?" HILARIOUS.

Monday, September 06, 2010

Friday, September 03, 2010

Just call me Lady Bump Bitch

I can't stop watching this cuz it's fascinating and hilarious and and....they call me LADY BUMP! What?

Love the hair. LOVE the screams. Love the bad dancing. Love the line "they call me lady bump...just look at me and you'll know why".... cuz I have NO IDEA why. Love the really bizarro decor. LOVE IT ALL!

Thursday, September 02, 2010

It's always good to have goals.

Ah. For ONCE it's all chilly and foggy in sunny LA. I am snuggled up in bed, laptop on lap, mug of steaming coffee in hand, wrapped up in my new fluffy white spa robe, recently "purchased" from Fat Ranch Camp. ('gift with purchase' is what I say!) Life is grand....

....until it gets to 100 degrees today as the news is reporting. Yuck. I am the rare individual who HATES heat and summer. The word SEPTEMBER is like music to my ears. Fall is my FAVORITE time of year! YAY FALL! Anything ending in 'ember' is JOY JOY JOY!

Fall is like My New Year. I like to set goals and plans. THIS year I am turning the big FOUR -OH. So I am for sure diving right into mid life crisis mode WHAT AM I DOING WHO AM I WHERE AM I GOING IN LIFE AND WHY DO I STILL LOVE OREOS AT THIS AGE???

When I take an inventory of my life I have this...TWO Lazy ass dogs,

TWO of which I DON'T EVEN WANT, a very yellow living room, and a serious new addiction to House Hunters on HGTV. The fact that I even WATCH HGTV is s HUGE sign of crossing over to the dark side of adulthood. I LOVE THIS SHOW. Why do old people love homes so much?? I can't get enough of it. And when I do a tivo binge I feel dirty afterwards. I feel like HGTV is the new Lawrence Welk/Merv Griffin show. it just screams I AM OLD NOW. Well, at least I haven't started watching Wheel of Fortune and Price is Right...YET. (if you have to do a google search on Lawrence Welk and or Merv Griffin because you have no idea who they are? I HATE YOU)

SO. My goal for this new year? Marry rich and have a baby and have Candice Olson do a divine design on my nursery and kitchen. Shallow? sure. But all I have to say's all about the backsplash in the kitchen. Basket weave marble here I come!