Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Just another average Monday night

Last night was your typical go see a Nicole Kidman Movie WITH Nicole Kidman sitting a few feet away, and then talking about the movie after.

I know I know. My life is as Bipolar as, well, as my personality. (Thanks Mom!)

I go from being a shut-in playing endless "words with friends" eating granola bars by the box, to a casual movie on  a monday night where Hey! There's Nicole Kidman. Just sitting there. Right there. In a V neck tee and khakis talking about making a movie as any normal person would discuss baking cookies.

The Movie is called Rabbit Hole and it was VERY VERY good. Seriously, when it's released in DEC. you should go see it.  No one fainted in this movie. When Nicole (we're on a first name basis now) discussed the movie she was incredible and approachable and I might have to say it's the best performance I've ever seen from her. You will be surprised. Trust me on this one.YogaBitch IS the new Ebert.

Once in a blue moon Living in LA is tolerable. I mean. Don't think I'm boasting here. It was Nicole Kidman. Not Zac Efron! But having nights like last night  make up for Driving around in late oct with your AC blasting just so you can wear your cute new sweater.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Oh, you know. Monday stuff.

Seriously, when this movie comes out go see it. Even if you're all "I don't wanna." Just do. I saw it this weekend and not one, not two, but THREE people fainted at a certain scene. If nothing else it makes you grateful for your arms. For me, it made me grateful that I hate hiking and nature and therefore will keep my arms thankyouverymuch.

Subject changer:
Yah! That's RIGHT! Don't think you're gonna mess with me and my RAJ and QI and ADZ. (it's pretty sad that in my free time I actually look up J words and try to memorize them)

Has anyone eaten these? Cuz I can't stop and was just wondering. They're worse than Girl Scout cookies   because I keep saying in my head "They're GRANOLA bars, which = HEALTHY!

yah. that sums up my weekend.

Thursday, October 21, 2010


This week the episode of Glee was a re-run. But I watched it anyway and it made me sad, because THAT is the Glee I know and love. It's so, so, different now. Sad frowny face.

And then this morning I came across THIS. The "innocent" Lea Michele.

Are you Effing kidding me? I'm not even one to be prude about this stuff. But what made the show so amazing was it's innocence AND humor AND that dash of WRONG it always had. But it's gone from a perfect balance to every other slutty teen show out there. And this photo shoot for GQ just seals the deal. I mean, THEY PLAY 16 yr olds! I don't care if they're 20 in real life. UGH! I hate when everything GREAT in Hollywood gets destroyed. 

And while I'm all worked up....I HATE THIS CONVERSATION:

Normal conversation about the housing market turns deadly...

SOMEONE: Hey, remember Jim blah blah. My friend from 20 yrs ago?
ME: um, no
S:YOU KNOW. That guy I was friends with in High school, down the block, with the red hat?
ME: ummmmm, NO.
S: YOU KNOW. His mom grounded him for prom and we used to hang out?
ME: NO! Anyway....
S: Okay, so anyway, I RAN INTO HIM!!!!! Can you believe he married has 5 kids and is now Mormon?! CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE THAT!??!?! ISN'T THAT CRAAAAAAAZY?
ME: uh huh. yah sure. And?
S: So anyway, Turns out he lives in the neighborhood and just sold his house. 
ME: And?
S: OH! He's the guy that one Christmas who came to that one party! You gotta remember THAT!
ME: NO!!!! I HAVE NO IDEA WHO HE IS! Just finish the story....
S: K, well, anyway HE sold HIS  house so I am sure the market is going up....
ME: Thats dandy. So, when do you wanna go to lunch?
S: Wheneve...HEY! I know! He's the one who couldn't go to graduation because he got in that car wreck....YOU KNOW!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Happy Monday!

This one cracks me up every.single.time.

And if you REALLY wanna laugh, go over to Kristina's Blog today.

Sunday, October 17, 2010


This was just one of those magical days where unexpectedly EVERYTHING unfolds in a magical way.

Let me tell you about it.

- Dogs sleep IN b/c was drizzly dark day (my FAVORITE) Not rain. just nice mist.

-Have best Mexican Mocha over Skype with friends in DC. No, not Housewife friends, actual real live friend friends.

- Taught  one hour class where not one but TWO girlfriends come. (girl. friends. am not polygamist lesbian.)
 -No Asshogis come to class this morning. (ass+hole+yogis)
- Had incredible brunch where EVERYTHING ammmmmmaaaaaaayyyyyyyyzing. We keep saying that over and over, way only set of 3 lesbian polygamists can do.
-Brunch place CONVENIENTLY located next to Sprinkles. Clear choice. Get some to go.
 For later.

-Because housekeeper here all day, we decide is perfect day to then get mani/pedi's.
-mani/pedi place messed up credit card numbers and charged me 24 instead of 42!! (would normally point this out buuuuuuutttttt have walked out of this particular place with hack job TEN too many times) so. YAY!
-THEN decide HUNGRY!..... AGAIN! Obviously....CHEESECAKE FACTORY! Scored FREE cheesecake b/c had awesome waiter. New Peanut butter flavor! DIED.

-Had to walk off Cheesecake Factory coma...Nordstrom Obvious destination. Talk friend into getting her first pair Uggs. She buys TWO. (evil snicker)
-Go to kid section to get her KID first pair Uggs. She gets him TWO. (double evil snicker)
-Find out that KID uggs $40 LESS THAT ADULT UGGS!?!?!? ALSO find out can fit in largest possible kid size. Score Uggs for ME!!! $40 cheaper! Who knew?!?!??! (friend evil snickers)

-b/c of multiple Ugg purchases finally qualify for PLATINUM shopper status=FREE VALET FOR A YEAR!!!! (am loyal and good customer)
-Come home to sparkly clean house
-Make first fireplace fire.  SUCCESSFULLY. (turns out all it takes is "starter log"...who knew?)

-Put on new uggs, lie on couch, watch Sister Wives, Dexter. AND Kardashians.
-Is perfect day

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

If you're good, REALLY good....this could be waiting for you under the tree this year.

Just when you thought life couldn't get worse than the Snuggie. Here comes the Booty Buddy Blanket!

The ad reads "It's a blanket AND a poncho!"

Yes. Because I have been saying ALL ALONG that if ONLY SOMEONE would release a new southwestern stylized poncho, that I can SLEEP in!

Also, Thank GOD someone finally put a hood on this thing because I am telling you, that snuggie was hugely lacking without the hoodie. My head is just freezing when I walk around the house.

Too bad it's lacking cup holders and an ipod hook up. Otherwise I'd be ordering it now.

I mean, the ADULT Tiger is tempting....and HOT.....RAWWWWR. But again, no cup holders.

Although....they ALMOST had me at the Penguin....
I wonder at which point the "executives" narrowed the choices down to 'tiger and penguin?'

Saturday, October 09, 2010

Happy Saturday! Go See the Movie 'LIFE AS WE KNOW IT.'

I have been waiting and waiting for this movie to come out. And now it is! First off, JOSH DUHAMEL! I've loved him since his All My Children days. I feel as if I discovered him. Like, "I knew him way back when." I know. Just add it to my HUGE list of delusions. It'll be right up there with that size 6 skirt hanging in my closet as my "goal outfit"....from 1998.

Second... GREG BERLANTI is the Director!!!! I could list all his accomplishments here. But really, for me, he had me at The Broken Hearts Club. I have been a loyal and worshipping follower since then and I LOVE seeing him rise to the King of Hollywood. Also? He's hot.

SO there you go. If anyone, from say LA/San Diego wants to join me I'll buy the Mochas!!

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

I'm in the mooooood for loooove....Pumpkin Pie Love, That is!


Nothing inspires me to shop like Fall. NOTHING! Here are my most favorite items right now. DO yourself a favor and indulge in at least ONE of these. Because You deserve it! (I really should write a motivational book, no?)(I would call it...Why to Buy: All the reasons to say YES at the sales counter!)

GET THESE SHOES! I've been over Kate Spade since early 2000. But She's back. With a Vengeance! A sparkly sparkly Vengeance!

PS. I don't get paid for ANY of this. But I should! RIght Kate? RIGHT?!?!?! (WILL WORK FOR SHOES)

And then take THIS with you to your pedicure place....
It's called Bad Romance.  'nuff said.

These are some of my favorite candles...one, because I LOVE the scents and two, because they're SO CHEAP!!! What's not to love? Just whisper those three magic words....two for one
Mrs. Meyers has THE BEST cleaning products ever. I have been a fan for ages. If you ever come over you will see my kitchen stocked and the best part is they have seasonal flavors too!! This year is orange clove. I ALWAYS rotate between Basil and Geranium. And they're won't break the bank. I heart this company. HIRE ME! only if employess get free samples

I bought this sweater yesterday as a treat for being SO GOOD on my diet. I say, when you can't buy oreos...BUY VINCE! I know it SEEMS expensive, but when you live in it every single day, AND YOU WILL, it only ends up costing like...I don't know. JUST GET IT!

EVER has the softest hoodies, well, ever. This particular one is my MOST favorite because it is all baggy and snuggly and and....put it on your wish list. 

Mmmmm. Caramels. These are my favorite. By far. They go oh so well with coffee. Yes. In the morning. Hey. whatever gets you through the day I say! I wish I knew the woman who started this company. We'd be friends. Better yet I wish we were NEIGHBORS! Would bring a whole new concept to "borrowing a cup of sugar"

I'm addicted to the shopaholic books (shocking!)(It's like I'm reading my own autobiography)...so when this came out I couldn't order it fast enough. I haven't even started it yet because I'm saving it for the perfect fall day. 

If you don't live near Trader Joe's....MOVE. They have these 100 calorie dark chocolate bars that are TO DIE FOR! AND only 100 calories!!!! There are 5 in a box. Which means they intend for you to have one a day MON-FRI. I'm SURE that's what they intended. AND they're only $1.99!!! Seriously I am so hooked on these that if you want to send me the $$$, I will ship them to you! **there's milk choc too, but haven't tried those.
K, Wallaby Yogurt. It's Yogurt. It's Dark Chocolate. I can't say more. I could only find it at stupid hateful assWHOLE Foods....but I'm sure they have it other places too. I think I eat one a day. They have a delicioso Lemon too. WHEN will these guys make a pumpkin pie yogurt?! PLEASE!!!!

Mistral is by far my MOST favorite bar of soap. You can't go wrong with the whole brand, but OH THE WINTERBERRY!   I usually find them at Anthropologie, if you wanna test the scent first. But trust me on this one. 

I could list about 20 things from Fresh that I can hardly live without. So many great bath products, so little time. But this is my newest favorite!!   (the nectarine lotion comes in at a close second) (oh, and the lemon sugar spray) (I'll stop) (this also matches the shoe/nail polish combo listed above)(just saying)

If this stuff doesn't make for one hell of a Fall evening I don't know what will.  


Tuesday, October 05, 2010

FALL, You complete me.

Today was actually cold enough for me to wear Uggs AND have a pumpkin spice latte at the bucks. I'm in SUCH a good mood! WITH NO MEDS! I swear, I hope by the time I retire, I have inherited earned enough money to build a huge retirement center where the AC is set to 65 at all times and the leaves are painted fall colors year round and Pumpkin scent is pumped through the vents and and we'll call it FALL LAND.

Um, I'm watching Oprah in the background and she just gave her entire audience..........a $25 gift card to Michaels. I bet they were SO PISSED that they weren't the "Australia" audience or the "FREE CAR" audience. I mean, how shameful to come home from your trip to Oprah, with a $25 Michael's Gift card?!?! HAHAAHA!!

Oh man, can today get any better?!

Monday, October 04, 2010

It's not MSNBC....but it's close.

Ah. perfect morning. It's drizzling outside, kinda sorta almost chilly, hot coffee in hand. Dare I say it might be, gulp, FALL?

Last night I watched for the first time, TLC's Sister Wives. I literally watched it with my mouth open. FOR SOME reason I thought this was a scripted show which is why I haven't watched it up until now. I was kinda sick of the whole polygamy thing, Big Love aside. (I mean, they were the pioneers...HA! Pioneers! ha!... of the polygamy popularity) But a for real, real live reality show?? I was in Celestial Kingdom!

Seriously this is the best show. I mean the title is lame. I would have gone with say, The Real Housewive's Wives of Utah or Wife Hoarders or Say YES YES YES and YES to the dresses! or perhaps Wife Hunters. 

But the show! THE SHOW! Is just so good. I mean, these women canNOT hide their emotion. The main guy, Kody, is basically courting a 4th wife, Robyn, who was introduced to him by his first wife Meri. (WHAT is with the name spelling, you rogue Mormons you?!) (oh and don't get me started with the names in this show. One little girl is NAMED Banana) Anyway...the wives are all talking about Robyn who is much younger at 30, and one of them says "she's cute. Real pretty. Am I jealous? no. Kody's a good man. He deserves a trophy wife. He deserves a cute girl." And the camera goes over to one of the other wives who looks PISSED at that comment, like she is DYING to be all "BITCH PLEASE, I AM THE TROPHY WIFE"

What I realized, again, in watching this show is that I watch WAYYYY too much HGTV and that it's affecting my life. When Kody moved Robyn into a new house I was all..."Those aren't even granite countertops! No stainless appliances??? LAMINATE FLOORS???? Cheap bastard!"

So yah. My move to TLC from HGTV may be a lateral one, but I think it's good I branch out at this point in ANY direction.

Friday, October 01, 2010

Ladies...watch your purse....

someone left a purse in a bar and when the bartender went through it to find the owner this list was in there. I am DYING laughing!!!! Also...what is a moondoggy??? a dessert?? If this is YOUR list fess up!
I mean Geez! I thought I had a lot to do on MY 'to do' list! This may even beat Kristina's annual resolutions!