Monday, June 25, 2007

party puffs?

I went to my friend Patrick's party last night. I got all excited when I walked in (because of course my eyes went DIRECTLY to the food table) and I saw what appeared to be a big bowl of CHEESE PUFFS!!


I was in disbelief and ECSTATIC! not so much because I wanted to EAT cheespuffs right then, but more because I thought FINALLY it's acceptable again to have a bowl of cheese puffs for party food! FINALLY it's not just ME who would WANT that! AND to add to my glee, THIS friend is a healthy gym rat gay dude with healthy pretty West Hollywood if it's acceptable HERE, then MAN imagine what might pop up at a straight party!? bowls of fritos and bean dip in a can? deviled eggs? rice krispy treats? cheeze whiz? chicken-in-a-biskits with Lipton's onion dip?? little weinies on toothpicks?

no more wheat crackers and Carr's pepper bakes!! No more veggie platter! No more gourmet lame olives stuffed with weird stuff....CHEETOS BOWLS are back! And if they're back with the uber-gays...then bust out the hoho's as dessert!! "MAN"! I thought "I'm throwin a party!!"

I was so SO awash with relaxation and amazement. This was the beginning of a new/old era!

Then I floated over to the table itself and as I got closer my dreams started crashing...It was a big bowl of...of...of....CARROT STICKS!!!


THAT party? sucked! stupid gays. and their fucking carrot sticks!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

sunday afternoon in the summer...

MRS. WORLD is on right now. It is hosted by Adrienne Curry (ANTM)(cycle 1) and CHristopher Knight (BRADY BRADY BRADY!!) and it is, AMAZING. I just got in right as the TOP 12 were being announced...and guess what? MRS. POLAND! made it! Yay her!

WHY I am loving it so much? is because there are just some things that you THINK have died with the Cleavers and Prohibition and Racial Quotas and Denny's being considered a NICE restaurant...and then there's MRS. WORLD and you realize "HEY! THINGS are JUST as they were back in 1971" PHEW!

The best part is Peter Brady being SERIOUS as a host as he has to tell the "ladies" they have been eliminated.(he's had a brow lift, BTW)(when it's time to's time to re-arrange!)

MRS. INDIA's last name is LOPEZ. weird. You think she came in 2nd in the MISS MEXICO finals and defected to India, got married, and applied for MRS. WORLD? We may never know unlesss IN TOUCH covers it.

Some of the ladies, during the bathing suit competition, wore nylons. MRS. America didn't. I think if you're gonna have a bathing suit contest, you have to tell the MRS. that they have to be bare legged. That's just what I think.

MRS. PAKISTAN got elimintaed and is PISSED. She called the rest of the MRS. contestants "STUPID and DUMB." Now that's just being a SORE Mrs. LOSER MRS. PAKISTAN!!

Also, Mrs. CHINA is HOT. but she's 26. While MRS. UKRAINE is also pretty hot, but she's 36. that doesn't seem fair. Because Mrs. UKRAINE has wrinkles and also had to wear nylons with her bikini.

MRS. AMERICA said in her interview "you know, we're not really competing. We're EXCELLING!"

I wonder if, like athletes can't have steroids, they can't have botox. can they test for that?

uh...MRS MOSCOW is 19...that is SO not fair! I mean seriosuly, there needs to be BOUNDARIES!!! I mean this just encourages pageant contestants to marry young.

MRS. GERMANY (she lost) says that "it's all rigged. All political" bitter grapes MRS. GERMANY....bitter grapes.

Peter Brady says that they are judged 25% bathing suits 25% formal wear and 50% interview. RIGHT peter.....Riiiiiiiggghhhhhtttt.

I wonder if the winner can go home with her crown and STILL be expected to Iron and vacuum. Cuz if I won that I SO would come home demanding a maid. And if my husband gave me ANY shit I would just be all "I AM MRS. WORLD!!!!" I'm pissed because MRS. AMERICA won!? what. EVER. she isn't EVEN as pretty as MRS. YEMEN. MRS. GERMANY was right! this WAS rigged!