Thursday, November 09, 2006

on modern psychiatry....

what I think is this....if you're a woman you should never fall in love with your shrink.

I've heard of it all the time, and I GET it...I mean there you are on the UGLY couch, pouring out all your evil dark shit, being all vulnerable, and this guy just looks at you with compassion, no judgement, no shock, and tells you that you are fine, you just need a few colorful pills, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. You get to be completely self indulgent and a guy sits there, LISTENING, not interrupting, not watching football, just listening.

So OBVIOUSLY you would fall in love, even if he DOES have a semi-bald head, a combover, is short, and rather resembles freud.

But here would be the downside, if you think about it. He would ALWAYS win any arguement. you don't stand a chance. he will always ALWAYS pull out the soft voice and make you think YOU'RE crazy. And he will have lots of text books to back it up.

Also your kids will be screwed up. In the tradition of the "preacher's kids" who are always goth drug addict athiests, your kids will be serial killers or chess players or something weird and creepy like that.

These are the things I think of when I am paying $200 an hour and listening to him talk. And I also think, "every minute this costs $4. thats a mocha per minute. If I leave to go to the bathroom that's like 5 wasted mochas." So not only do I talk fast, I hold my pee too, try not to sneeze or cough, and I am NEVER never late.

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