mexico and stuff...

I'm back from my vaca...no no, my retrea...nope...REHAB! I am back from rehab. It wasn't in Malibu though, it was in Mexico. And it wasn't for coke and/or martini addiction...THIS rehab was more for people who THOUGHT they were going to relax on the beach with NO coffee or meat, do some yoga, and otherwise float in the sea.
Those people would be wrong though. (These people? are ME)

Anyhoo, I came back feeling wrung out and EXHAUSTED, to people greeting me with "OH MY GOD! how was your vacationn?!?!?!? did you have funn?!?!"

I could barely mumble back "wasntavacation"

It's THURSDAY, I got back on sunday, and I am JUST recovering from my recovery.

I felt like Lindsay Lohan, walking around the first few days, with a water bottle in my hands instead of a starbucks cup. I felt "cured" and "superior" I had been HEALED. Then I saw her big coke binge car wreck of a weekend, mere weeks after her own rehab stint and I couldn't help but wonder "is that what's in store for me?" "Will I, in a mere few weeks be found slumped over a starbux patio chair, coffee stains down my face and pants, mumbling about venti doubles with whip?"

oh well, whatev's. I learned a LOT of key phrases on my VACATION.

so I share them here with you my fellow addicts....

"THE ANSWER TO HOW IS IN THE NOW." (self-help leaders LOVE to rhyme)(I don't even know what this means, but it rhymes)

"If you want to HEAL you've got to FEEL"

"THIS IS FITNESS FOR YOUR INNER WITNESS" (uhhh, what?")

"IF YOU CAN, YOU MUST" ( so I took this literally and yesterday I thought if I can get coffee, I MUST")

The funny thing about all the talky rhymey sesame street rehab talk is that everyone there just wanted to lose 10 lbs from the fruit fast they heard about.

and I DID!

Yay ME! I AM FREE! TIME FOR COFFEE!

(I'll be hosting my own mexican retreat/vacation/rehab soon. I'll keep you posted)






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