drunk blogging

I'm drunk
 I just ate a huge steak.
I'm in Park city

VEGANISM ROCKS!

Things I have enough of....

1. Missoni/Target stuff.**

2. Dogs.***

That is all. 

** I WAY hoarded and overbought. I couldn't help it! My friend and I drove to the GANG area of LA to get this stuff. I WORKED for it! If you want any kid stuff or shoes, lemme know cuz I would rather send to you than return it. Sadly, every time I weed through it all to take stuff back, I can't part with any of it.  That whole non-materialistic part of yoga training didn't really take.

***That little one is up for adoption. I Swear. I AM NOT KEEPING HIM. He is a FOSTER pet. It's all the rage here in LA. Anyone who's anyone fosters an animal for some rescue group. Rescuing kids from Africa is SOOOOO 2008.

It's Fall in LA!....

...cuz I'm sitting here in Starbucks drinking my salted-caramel-mocha-with-soy-no-whip-extra-hot! Nooo, I am not affected by the LA scene WHATSOEVER! DO you guys KNOW how good this drink is?? Way better WITH whip, but you know, that's not on the vegan menu...HAHAHAH!

Psych! Face! Moted!

OF COURSE I have whip....which confuses the baristas here to no end. heehee. And for my non-coffee friends...you can get this as a hot chocolate and it's just about the best durn thing in the world!

Its been SUCH a busy summer...hence the cobwebs and for rent signs on my blog.

But what I love about fall, for me, is that I get to slow down, enjoy the changing of the network line-up, long lazy sundays watching new pilot episodes, fresh brewed apple cider scent wafting through Bath and Bodyworks, spending quality time outdoors driving to all the greater LA targets hunting for Missoni wear, new Ugg boots peeking out from their summer hibernation, Fresh pomegranate lipgloss, and all the brilliant fall colors adorning the windows of Pottery Barn!

God I love LA in Fall!

BAD TOUCH BAD TOUCH

Listen. I've said it many many times. But at least once a year I get my annual, uh, gift? as it were. And tonight was the night. This otherwise adorable guy was front and center(fold)  in class tonight. And it wasn't until the END of class that I had them do a two minute thing where you sit like this....

Annnnd THAT, my friends is when the magic happened. Adorable guy was wearing NO UNDERWEAR. And loose shorts.

Now, let me repeat that this is kinda old hat to me by now. I am a seasoned instructor, after all. I've been to battle. Usually I just run away and avoid that whole side of the room entirely and then drive home and take a burning shower to my eyes and scrub them with sulfuric acid to burn away the image.

But tonight I was trapped. He was in the front row, and I was DIRECTLY sitting in front of him. SITTING. There was no way to escape politely AND I had just told the class that it was a two minute pose. I mean his Don Johnson was RIGHT there. Like mere inches away. Like-I-could-have-put-a-Gucci-leash-on-it-and-adopted-it-as-my-4th-pet close.

So I did all I could do and looked away. Tried to PRETEND that his wiener dog wasn't wagging in front of me. And then see out of the corner of my eye that HE now notices that he is doing flasher-asana and he goes "OH DUDE!" and tries to put the thing back in!!! ALL WHILE DOING THE POSE! THIS pose...

He THINKS he has put lucifer back in the box but he hasn't really and the darned thing keeps coming back out. 

yah. 

Annnnd he keeps puttin' it back in and so forth. He's also looking around all embarrassed to see if anyone saw and he looks right at me, who's looking ANYWHERE but him, and then I just lose it.

 I start to laugh. And then I can't stop laughing but I have to cover it up because I DO NOT WANT HIM TO KNOW THAT I KNOW.  So I start talking "to the class" about stuff that isn't even funny, but I'm all cracking up and they're all confused because I am making no sense. I'm saying stuff like "yah, you know, yoga can sometimes be difficult HAHHAHAHAHAH! Especially when it's really hot in here HAHHAHAHHA! And your mats get all sweaty HAHAHHAHAHA! Ohhhhh...you guys are so funny HAHHAHAHHAHA!"

Then it was FINALLY over and I was all "SAVASANA!"(the final resting pose)  even though it wasn't at all time for the final pose and there was still 15 mins of class left. and as soon as flasher dude was lying down I bolted from my seat and ne'er returned. 

I really REALLY don't get paid enough for this. It's gonna take a double dose of Vicodin to erase this kinda pain. 

THIS is the kind of thing that gets me blogging again. Genius. Sheer Genius.