Mick Watch Day 5

I know I know, Pics of Kids and puppies...BOR-ING. I mean, I have nothig ELSE to write about. Except, I will go on record saying that I REALLY want a dog nanny. I woke up this morning, took them to the park, came back all 3 muddy, one whimpering, had to prepare 3 different bowls of food, then wipe all the mud paws off the floor, all the while keeping the older dogs from trying to steal the puppy's food and/or kill the puppy. WHEW! I was exhausted by 8 AM. I will bet MONEY that you will be seeing dog nannies pop up in the next 5 years. You read it here first folks!

when the meds don't work...

Well, every once in a while we all, in humanity, make BIG BIG HUGE stupid mistakes, cuz, you know, I'm, WE'RE only human on this planet. And when psychotropic meds don't work, and the psychiatric community fails you, well then I, I mean WE, turn to, say OTHER measures, EVEN IF they aren't the smartest measures. We cope. We do our best. Some turn to the bottle, some turn to Jesus. And you know, AT LEAST I don't have a reckless cocaine habit...although.....
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...although a reckless cocaine habit may have made more sense...

Trapper John, M.D.

I just went to get a "physical" at a "doctor's" office.

Now, I haven't had a physical, in umm, well, 3rd grade maybe? dunno. Mostly because I HATE doing stuff like that and even though it's "just a $20 co-pay" there are ALWAYS hidden charges from my ghetto insurance company. But anyhoo I was bored the other day, People's Court was in re-runs, and I just decided to schedule every doctor appointment possible. After all I pay $100 a month for this lame insurance, that DOESN'T even cover the ONE doctor I see every week, so i figured I should use it.

I had to fill out one of those lame forms where you lie a lot. And they ask those questions about family history to which I know none. I mean, who does? It asked about my maternal great grandmother. And her health history. Well, i don't even know my own mother's health history, and the sad part is, I didn't even know my parent's ages. they're in their mid sixties somewhere. after 50, it's all the same...just old.

(my dad reads this blog. It's gonna be a dry christmas for me)

Then the questionnaire asks funny things like "do you have a problem with food?"

wellll, isn't that kind of subjective. By FOOD, do they mean, oreos? And is coffee included in the FOOD category? I mean I have a problem with SOME foods, but I have NO problem overeating, say spinach (well, unless it's the costo spinach dip) or tofu or wheat grass...So I answered the obvious "NO"

And then of course you answer NO and you then get weighed. I just looked at the ceiling and whistled.

Then I SEE the ole doc and I explained that I had gained a heftly load of weight these last 2 years, but you know, NOT cuz I have a "problem" with food, it was you know, a 'problem' with LA. I said all this AS IF I had been skinny before, never ever had a weight issue," just these last two years. oh well, what're you gonna do?"

so he asked, "what are you going to do?"

And I said matter of fact, that you know, I work out now. I spin.

Then he says, and I quote "you know, they have found that you actually lose weight from actually taking in LESS food, LESS calories"

uhhhh. you think?

and then "and studies have actually shown that people who weigh everyday are successful in weight loss, whereas people who DON'T weigh every day gain it back"

K, I have been weighing myself everyday since I was 5, hmmmm.

Aside from all this nonsense, he was fat. not BIGGEST LOSER fat, but for sure "hefty." he must not weigh EVERY DAY.

THIS? is why I hate going to doctors. They tell you stuff you already know from the internet. I personally believe they are moving towards obsolete. They're only good for prescription meds in my book.

spiritual spin

I just got back from spin class. I cried in my car ALL.THE.WAY.HOME. I cried allll the way down Sunet, LaBrea and to my garage. Spin class left me an emotional wreck. I know, I know, using the words "emotional" and "spin" in the same sentence is CLEARLY a sign that someone is in need of clinical psychotherapy.

uh huh.

I know I have been blogging about spinning WAY too much, and quite frankly, I only go once a week. So that just goes to show how VERY much it completely tortures you. It has never left me in tears on the way home, and worst of all, I wasn't crying about ANYthing.

Thank GOD I got home and DESIGN STAR was on, because I stopped crying IMMEDIATELY and started judging other loser's lives. What really gripped me was that they had a kind of contest where "deserving" families wrote in to get chosen for the design "stars" to go "enhance" their lives by re-doing a room for them. This just cracks me up.

FIRST of all they show one of the winning families who are giving their sob story. and first up was this full on white trash couple who video taped their "living room" Their carpet section was all moldy and coming apart, their blinds were literally all falling down, their plaid couches were so stained and raggedy you could BARLEY see the pink plaid showing through. Their linoleum was all coming up from the floor...it was a disaster. And THEN among all this wreckage, their baby crawling on the particle board floor, she says into the camera, practically fake crying "I wanna fix up everything but we just don't have the money. we are broke and we jus' wanna nicer place for our baby" BUT as she's talking you can't HELP but notice the BRAND NEW 60 inch TV in the background.

HAHAHAHHAH!

Then my next favorite part is when the "designers" go out to "help" these deserving families and you can hear the voice-overs saying " this is what I LOVE about being a designer...being able to change people's lives, enhance them you know?!"

ahhh, no matter how bad life can get, no matter how much a shambles spin class leaves you in, no matter WHAT your life circumstance, you can ALWAYS redecorate....or, at least watch it happen and make fun of it on TV.

either way, it changes your life...you know?!