Still half empty...

Not only can I not walk b/c of calf pull, and am sicker than yesterday, but then today, as I walked down my front stairs, which apparently the "gardeners" watered (they don't water all my dying plants, but make sure to hose down the STAIRS) I slipped, of course and slammed my but into another stair. PLUS I was now all wet. I just sat there and cried.

The upside, and the ONLY upside?

I got my vicodin cough syrup from the doctor. I will be happy in about 30-40 mins.

half n half

GLASS HALF EMPTY

-I pulled my calf muscle in the first 5 minutes of my personal training session. Feels like knife is in my calf every time I step forward.

-Woke up with nasty cold, drool on pillow, sinus headache. PLUS can't walk b/c calf pull.

-ALSO, arms V.V. sore from upper body crazy workout with personal trainer since could not do any lower body exercise b/c calf pull. Trainer did crazy arm stuff. can't even cough b/c chest muscles sore. Trainer has black little heart.

GLASS HALF FULL

-got to miss training session today

-Pedicure looks AMAZING.

Black Friday

Why do people even get up early to shop for xmas presents today? Me? personally, I am thoroughly enjoying my late morning wake up, lounging on the couch eating pie for breakfast.

As I watch fox news interviewing people who went to the 4 a.m. sales (seriously? 4 a.m.??) (and that's at mervyn's and Kohl's. why bother? That's just CRAZY!)(and they say I have a problem with shopping? pfft.)

Also I would NEVER buy xmas presents today because then , by actual xmas, those presents have not only been slashed to final clearance, but probably they're showing up in TJ MAXX and ROSS in final clearance and then people will think you're just cheap.

mmmm, time for some more pie.

Eat THIS Pilgrims!

This is what I have eaten today (because I KNOW you are DYING to know)

Breakfast/Brunch=3 pieces sourdough toast and an undisclosed portion of Jamoca Oreo Ice Cream (see previous post)


Dinner...?=fistful of doritos and fist full of Circus Animal cookies christmas edition.

That's it. I have been to FOUR grocery stores today, plus costco and target. I had an ENTIRE carload of food. But all I could reach for was the doritos and cookies. And I had NO time for anything else.

I think that's why my hands are shaking as I type. hey! I still have more jamoca left....

hallmark moment

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

INTERIOR: Carmine's Italian Restaurant

SCENE: Birthday Lunch with Mom and Mom's Husband. Not having much in to say, conversation turns to Thanksgiving...


MOM: I can get you a great fresh turkey if you want. I ordered 6 of them, just in case.

(Explaining the "just in case" is the story of my life. wait till my autobiography comes out)

ME: Thanks, are they organic? I only use organic.

MOM: (looks insulted and angry that I am being picky about a free turkey offer) well, they don't SAY organic. Personally i can't
STAND organic turkeys. no flavor. eww.

ME: Well, I just don't want all the antibiotics and hormones.

STEPFATHER: hey. do you know HOW to make a hormone?

(a beat)

STEPFATHER: Don't pay her!

(he is turning beat red laughing)

ME: (speechless) (not sure which chapter addresses this in dr. phil's "Family First" book) (do I acknowledge this? pretend to laugh? roll my eyes?) (am confused)

MOM: (ignores and interrupts)(thank god!) Hey! do you have any gay friends in their 60's?

ME: uh, NO. why would I even KNOW any gay men in their 60's? I don't even have any regular friends in their 60's!

MOM: Well I'm just trying to find a date for my friend peter. He's SUCH a nice guy. And I figured you might know someone! you
have so many gay friends. Maybe Joe knows someone?

ME; I don't. He doesn't.

(some silence)

(I go back to my pizza)

(she bites her salad, contemplating)

MOM: (looking at me seriously) hey. do you suppose gay men have more oral sex or anal sex?



So, it's come to this. Happy birthday.

It all starts with one scoop!

I went to baskin robbins today for a scoop of my newest addiction. It's the JAMOCA OREO.
That would be
JAMOCA (derived from the ever famous MOCHA) and
OREO (OREO!!)
I mean seriously, The only other thing they could have added to that to make it more desirable by me would have been rice krispie treats.
So, I have had a "problem" lately because I can't seem to get enough of it. SO I went in today for my innocent ONE scoop in a cup and the lady says "that is our last container, we aren't carrying it any more, it's a promotion...do you want the whole container?"
WHAT? I do NOT want the whole container! Buuuutttt...maybe I should get a pint.
she gets the pint.
welll...mayyybeee I should get a quart then, you know, for the holidays.
she goes to get the quart and then turns to me with the HALF GALLON BUCKET and says "I will just fill this up for you and take $3 off the price. you want that?!"
uh. umm. yah. sure.
I swear to you on my life that I have never EVER bought a half gallon bucket of ice cream at baskin robbins. until today.
She crams the entire remains of the container into that giant bucket and puts it in a bag and then asks if I want a spoon!
Like I'm just going to eat it on the way home.
I was in a fog. Partly this was like a dream come true, a fantasy since childhood to walk off with the biggest conatiner in the store filled with my most favorite flavor.
and partly i was horrified and terrified I would in fact sit down and eat the whole thing.
I'm not saying either way what the rest of my afternoon went like.

don't mess with mick

Isn't he sweet.

FAll SHOPPING is here!

so here are some random notes for those of you consumers out there...

-Trader Joes has all new products including choc chip cookie ice cream sandwiches...YUM! but the frozen teriyaki chicken entree? NO. Leave it in the freezer, and move RIGHT along to the party sized meatballs.

-Dark chocolate covered altoids? Proof that God is among us. It's like you get to eat candy ALL.DAY.LONG. in the name of minty fresh breath. AND they sell them at Bed Bath and Beyond. So you can use all those 20% off coupons.

-Target started carrying BUSTELO coffee. It LOOKS ghetto in a bright yellow can. you might think it's like folgers or chock full o' nuts or something. NO NO NO. There was a time when I went to NY and bought 10 cans to bring back which caused quite a stir at the airport security. It was WORTH it. Buy a LOT there so they will continue to carry it.

-If you are tempted to buy the new "cherry pie" bubble bath at Bath 'n Bodyworks, wait. smell it a LOT. at first you think "mmmmm...cherry pie!" and later, when you get home and re-smell it you think "eww...nyquil? Cherry robitussin?" The "pie" has mysteriously disappeared. Try instead Philosophy's RED VELVET CAKE BATTER. And then you'll be inspired to MAKE a red velvet cake, you know, for the holidays, for OTHER PEOPLE.

-Costco surprisingly carries THE BEST french feta cheese EVER. It's $5 for a giant block. at the cheese store here it's $9 for 1/4 the size.

That's all for now. Should keep you busy this week.

Fall is here!!

This is my MOST favorite time of year.
1. I LOVE daylight savings when it's the "fall back" one. (but I have to insert here, that on sunday when I went to change my watch, I was trying to remember what was what and I was all "fall forward...spring back?")(old age)
2. I LOVE when it actually goes below 72 degrees. here, 65 is CHILLY. (btw...is there a "degrees" sign on a keyboard? I cant' find it.)
3. I know THE SEASON is officially upon us when I go to starbucks and they have the red winter cups. That? is like it's own holiday for me. The starbucks red cup day. I am happy that whole season. once the white comes back in january life is bleak again.
4. Halloween is my MOST favorite holiday for too many reasons to list here, but most of which, the next day is November 1 and THAT means that my birthday is SO around the corner. I feel like from NOV 1-NOV 17 I can celebrate. So, I buy myself presents and treats everyday until the big day when you all are SUPPOSED to buy my treats and presents. (consider this GOOD timing...you still have 9 shopping days and 7 shipping days!)
5. FAll is SUCH a good excuse for baking stuff. you get to pretend that you're baking stuff for other people, but really you eat it all. brownies, cookies, rice krispie treats....all in the name of holiday baking!!
6. PUMPKIN PANCAKES AT IHOP!!!

I'm sure there's more, but I just can't list it ALL.
so, HAPPY FALL!

Utah Fun