Tuesday, March 23, 2010

irriTATING Tuesday

There's nuthin' that spurs a posting like ANNOYING PEOPLE!

1.I just taught a class and there was this guy in the front row who kept rolling his eyes and scoffing at every single pose we did. Now, I KNOW it wasn't my mesmerizing charismatic self. After all, I am the BEST TEACHER IN the greater LA area (and NYC too, FYI)(just saying) Oh boy. Did I ever wanna give him a swift and violent kick in his down dog face!


2. And yet ANOTHER Whole Foods infraction: They had a sale on this one brand of frozen foods. and they had sale stickers all over the freezer section of this one brand. So, being that I hate myself for shopping there anyway I ONLY let myself buy what's on sale. Hopefully they LOSE money on me. I go through the loooonnng line of hippie posers and my frozen discount food is rung up at FULL price. So I point this out and they call over the manager and he goes to check. Seriously? The WHOLE product line was on sale. How do they not know this? He waves me over to point out that the "pad thai with SHRIMP" is NOT on sale, but the pad thai with beef/chicken/tofu IS. I point out that the stickers are on every single product. And he looks at me dead serious and says....only THIS one is not on sale. DIE!

3.One of my renters STOPPED THE RECORDING OF REAL HOUSEWIVES while I was in Utah. I mean, if two shows are recording at the same time, you can't even watch anything else. But SO? I see an eviction in the near future. I need to write this as a clause in the lease. KILL

4. AMerican Idol is filmed 8 blocks away from me. On the main street I have to travel to and from work. I can't BEGIN to tell you the traffic cluster F that happens when I try to come home, because every tuesday in idol season, Idol filming gets out like 15 mins before I am on the road. ROAD RAGE!

5. I decided to be "responsible" and went to Nord to return the cutest shoes on earth that I bought a few weeks ago. But I have a lot of bills, and no savings per se, no "retirement plan" as it were (unless you consider inheriting a retirement plan)(which I do) so I FORCED myself to do it. tried to be all "grown up" about it. This IS a bad economy after all. IS there a more evil word than 'downsizing?' {shudder} .....

...BUT, the story turns good. You can stop praying for my sadness. Because as I returned them the sales girls were FREAKING out and fighting over them because they had sold out company wide (what can I say? I have IMPECCABLE taste!) and they all had customers DYING for them. So of course that made my hairs on the back of my neck rise. I panicked. I CAN'T RETURN MY PRECIOUS!!!!! But then I was all "walk away. Just walk away." So I did. I walked out those doors with my head held high, annnnnd then sprinted full speed walked right back in and re-bought them.

Nice tactic sales people!

I was hugging the box on my way out.

(retirement schmetirement. I may have to be put in a state run elderly facility when I'm old, where the orderlies constantly drop me on the floor and never change my bedpan. But at least I'll always have my shoes!)

So today turned out OKAY after all. however, I will in fact body slam the eye roller should he come back to class.


Winkinatcha said...

Ahh You are deffo one funny chicka :)


forever folding laundry said...

Cracking up at this entire post!

1) Not taping Real Housewives is a cardinal sin. No excuses. They've got to go.

2) Good call on the shoes. Never mind the brilliant move on the part of the sales women, those shoes are adorable. Who needs to retire, anyway?


Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

You went, you returned, you re-bought and you walked out...HAPPY! That's what counts.

bernthis said...

Can I just say Ditto on all this. I'd pretty much kill anybody who fucked with my TIVO of the biggest loser. I LOVE TO SHOP and the only way I avoid it is I DON'T GO TO THE MALL. I swear. that is what I need to do to not spend money.

I miss shopping so much. Seriously,I'm hoping so much this is the year my finances finally get back to where they were when I was making it big time.

peewee said...

you guys don't even know! I was all hunkered down to watch 2 whole back to back recordings and 10 mins in it was all "show was interrupted"

I was literally seething. And what could I even DO about it?

(spit in their diet coke bottle?) (what? I would never....)

the letters i wish i'd written said...

Why, oh why can't you teach yoga on this side of the water? All I ever find on this side of the pond are snooty women weaving earnest looking blankets made of yoghurt whilst telling me to ooooooooom. I despair.

Mr. Stupid said...

Wow. Your post had me laughing till the end. I found your Blog through a comment.

You teach Yoga? Interesting.
I had this Yoga teacher who took 3 months to teach me how to meditate. He said, "Don't come from tomorrow. I am going on a vacation!". That was an easy way of saying, "Don't come. Ever!"

Have a good day!:)

rychelle said...

think of the money you cold make selling those shoes on ebay!

and, thanks to kristina, you'll at least have a snuggie to keep you warm as you're laying on the floor of the old folks home.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Swwetttttt!! I would've done the same with the shoes. Wear them to your funeral.

cahbf said...

dont you sell rare in demand clothing and makeup on ebay?