debbie downer

I can't even BELIEVE Thanksgiving is NEXT WEEK!?!?!

How is this happening? HOW? It's 80 degrees outside! How am I even supposed to WANT to fire up my oven for a 10 lb turkey when it's SUMMER?? Why can't Cheryl's deliver turkeys WITH their cookies? (And, while I'm making demands/suggestions, I wish they'd give me free cookies for all this advertising I'm doing! )(and also change that name. I mean Cheryl's? Really?)

I'm very cranky these days. Which is EVIDENT given that I haven't even MENTIONED (let alone hinted at all the stuff I want)(with links) my Bday. That is because I have decided that it's cancelled this year.

I am canceling my birthday. (Why does cancelled have two L's and canceling have only one? WHY???)

I'm just not ready. It's too damn hot. And I am too busy playing Cesar Milan to have anything resembling a real life. I just spent another $75 on amazon buying DOG TREATS, which is ALMOST more shameful than my cookie splurge of last week.

I need a vacation. Somewhere cold. NO DOGS ALLOWED.


If I don't get a vacation soon I may end up back on my therapists couch which I SO don't wanna do A.Because I'd rather spend my money on cookies shoes and B. I'd probably just lie about everything because I've clearly regressed since my last sessions a couple years ago. I just don't know how I could fess up to a third dog, a cookie PROBLEM, AND how I almost kicked someone out of my class last week because she was chewing gum AND wore giant furry boots on an 80 degree day. I mean THAT is totally justified....but the third dog? No way. Shame central!

Maybe I should just go to Chipotle. That always make the world seem a brighter place. And speaking of that, I'll leave you with this article which is hilarious....

HOW TO EAT AT CHIPOTLE