Oh Boy. JUST when I got the tree up.
I said, "WHAT?"
She said "Are you having a good day?" (WITH concerned face)(furrowed brows. half smile)
I said "A GOOD DAY?? AM I having a good day?????"
She said, and added more concerned look "yes. Did you have a good day?"
I said " Umm. I guess. yah. sure."
She said, all purposeful and thoughtful like, nodding her head "good. good. Well, the worst is over, right?" Then jumped off.
WHAT?!?!?!??!
Seriously I was clenching my fists. SHE IS SO LUCKY HER FLOOR CAME UP. I mean WTF? Is she one of Santa's self appointed freakin elves? Who asks stupid stuff like that to strangers?? IN AN ELEVATOR?? I could tell she was one of those stupid self imposed do-gooder hippies who aren't hippies cuz they also go to expensive gyms. So they're EVEN MORE pious than regular poor hippies because they see themselves as even BETTER than poor hippies because hey! I am rich AND altruistic! Look at me! Money hasn't ruined me!! la di da di da!
It took like, 4 rounds of mellow style 'Drummer Boy' to calm me down. That and a glass of wine. Let me just tell you this is my first Christmas in 3 years WITHOUT MEDS. I should try one more..
...or just have more wine. I don't even drink btw. But my friends left a bunch of cheap ass two-buck-chuck in my fridge from Thanksgiving. And I dunno, I just instinctually just reached for it tonight. Hopefully I'm not blogging from Celeb rehab this time next year. Anyhoo, IGNORITOL.
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7 comments:
I would have punched her in the ovaries.
Just yesterday I took the elevator after my therapy appointment with another woman I saw in the waiting room before the appointment.
I'd been crying -- SCORE! -- and gave her the polite half smile as she boarded the elevator and then looked up at the numbers to watch them count down.
She said, "We have to have some dark days to appreciate the good days."
I said, "I wish it would just snow to get it over with."
We rode in silence the rest of the way down. If I hadn't been so pissed at her I would laughed at how disjointed that exchange was.
It's like, "The dog howls at midnight."
"And the crow soars due east."
You should have answered the woman in the elevator by saying, "As long as no one finds the body!"
My local Starbucks has that Pink Martini Christmas album, and I've been eyeing it for a while. Is it really good? Must I have it?
Next time, turn towards them, lean in, and start coughing and hacking (without covering your mouth) and say "As soon as they find a cure!"
I hate elevator chit chat.
But I have a feeling I would love that CD. Must check it out.
OMG YES KRIS!!! Why can't I think of that stuff in the moment??
You have the best Christmas music! My girls still talk about the "dog Christmas song." I am off to purchase this new one!
p.s. Are you coming for Christmas!? :)
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