Thursday, February 24, 2005

late nite stuff

okay, so it's snowing and freezing and I am hunched over my laptop bored. I keep checking and re-checking my citibank homepage. Is there REALLY only $11 in my account? How did that happen. "Someone must have stolen my identity!!" my mind shouts out. (oh, the poor poor wretched soul who attempts that crime will surely lose out!) and so I check my acct activity excited while the page downloads so I can see where this thief has been shopping and then, ever the cop, I can call my bank and smugly cancel my cards and tell all my friends how I was a victim...wiped clean!" (the page is still loading) and then I can go in detail how this thief had THE NERVE to use my hard earned yoga money (karma, man, karma) to go on a spree at Prada and Circuit city...(the page loads, I scan with eager, swift eyes)...
SBUX -----4.50
Starbucks-----4.67
SBux-------4.50
coffe-rama-------7.90 (musta had a bagel too)
Cosi coffee-----4.63
petworld-----187.50
Sbux------5.10
starbucks-----19.20 (they had the MOST adorable thermos!)(and I got a free refill!)
(and .10cents off every purchase when I use my thermos)
koffee-korner-----5.34
cup o' joe-----5.87
cup o' joe-----5.87 (it was a long, cold day)
cup o' joe-----5.87 (see?)
petsmart-----56.99

etc etc.....so my mind keeps scanning and scanning, waiting to see the ridiculous high end purchases the thief made. I scan all the way back to november. "huh" my mind says, "I guess the purchases from the identity thief are SO recent they haven't appeared yet. Guess I better check first thing tomorrow!"

So, you see, I go to bed tonight, on this snowy cold day, knowing that tomorrow morning, over my double grande peppermint mocha with soymilk and extra whip, I will again check my bank totals, hoping that A. I will find the mis-charged items or B. that money has mysteriously made it's way into my account, by some huge bank error. (which is probably how all my money was LOST in the first place! banks!!)

2 comments:

Joe said...

how do you spell addict? W-H-O-R-E

love you!

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