Monday, August 28, 2006

Why I hate LA and other cliche's

It is so blase ( I am sure there's a way to accent that last -e- but I don't know how) to hate LA. Everyone Hates LA. I was always the one who said "well, I don't HATE it, it's okay. so now I have joined the masses. I can't find ANYTHING redeemable about it. And when I say that people here look all shocked and say "but the WEATHER! you must at least LOVE the weather!"
nope. hate it. miss the fall. miss wearing tights and jackets and cute furry boots. I wake up and it's just another sunny day. BOR-ING.

and then, there's the freaky people. I can't even post an ad on craigslist without attracting a serial killer who I then invite into my home, as a roommate nonetheless. Harvey. from vegas. mid-forties. an "actor" who works for "central casting" (that's where everyone goes to get put on the EXTRAS list) but he said that was his employer all the while staring at my crotch, asking me if me and my husband lived here while he twitched both his eyes every half second still looking at my crotch.

I deleted my craigslist ad for a roommate so now I am stuck with all the rent. AND I am sharing my perfect spanish pied-a-terre in the city with TERMITES too. I think this is outrageous, while my neighbors think I am being a spoiled diva. here's what peter the downstairs neighbor said "...well YAH, of course there are termites! everyone in LA has termites! you can't just rent a place in LA without termites! In fact, back when I was in college, a termite got into my cable box and just LIVED there forever. I think he just loved it because it was warm, and he could be alone and he would just munch on the particle board. Well, He lived in that box until I moved and turned it in. it was actually kinda cute."

(I am NOT taking poetic license here, this conversation, word for word, actually took place yesterday in my backyard)(if you don't believe me ask the termites. i am SURE they heard)

it got even better when peter went on to say "yah, last year I discovered that they had built a nest in the didning room, so I found their nest and just broke it down. that's just what you do."

Nest? dining room? break it down YOURSELF?!?!??!?!

I think there IS such thing as getting too much sunshine in your life. makes you delusional.

3 comments:

Jenny May said...

I'm worried about you! Come home to NY before you turn into one of those crazy LAers...at least NY crazies are entertaining, not scary!

peewee said...

I KNOW! I KNOW!!!! Believe me...I am already planning my escape!

Joe said...

time to move east, sweet pea? YAY!!