Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Analysis V. Aerobics.


VERY GAY Black Dude: "the craziest experience I had with a racial bias was, a old white woman clutched her purse when I walked by and CLEARLY nothin' about me says 'GIRL I'm gonna beat you over your head and take your coin.

This was the dress I got for my high school reunion a couple weeks ago.THE DRESS. I thought it was SO cute and I wore them with brown tights and brown suede crippling heels.

yah. I still got it!...

Until I saw the pics that someone posted on FB. Which now that we're on the subject. I think it should be ILLEGAL to tag someone's picture w/o prior approval! It was like, THE WORST picture, forever emblazoned on FB.

(note the fantastic sam's ponytail)

I was disgusted. I didn't look like uber-cute Michael Kors runway ready fashion superstar (that was the look I was going for)

Unfortunately I was less Heidi Klum, more Nell Carter.

Anyway, now I am on a vigorous exercise routine...

...which has left me exhausted and spent at the end of the day.

I have been to some sort of yoga/work out class every single day for a whole week. I used to do this ALL.THE.TIME when I lived in NY. Voluntarily. As in, it wasn't even an option. It's just what I did. Voluntarily.

This Week? NOT voluntarily. How can that be? you say. Because I went to my shrinky last week in hopes of a new drug to 'make it all better.' (it's what we do in LA)(like massages and pedicures) And he looked at me and said "you have to go to yoga. TONIGHT. And everyday until you come back again. See you next week. That'll be $200"

WHAT?! Where's my Prozac/Valium/Xanax??? Where's that prescription pad?? huh? HUH?

Anyhoo, here are some of the things that fitness instructors/yoga teachers said this week.

-That's it! Sit down in a squat...lift up. DOWN UP DOWN UP! FASTER! RIDE your elevator into your hips!!

-Open your heart! beaming pure rays! of joy! and light! Manifesting! your light! get lit up! Inspired up!

-Create a yoga ARMY! Fierce and true. Opening your power through your heart. Just open up your chest. Care-Bear Stare. (not even kidding....that's what HE said)

-People think LOVE and COMPASSION are the same thing. They are NOT. They are very different! Compassion, you see, is a VERB. And LOVE is an adjective or a noun.

Yes. Yes. I compassion you. Just the other day I was compassioning my dogs.

You see...Prozac doesn't talk. I'm gonna have to wring this guys prescription pad outta his chubby little freudian hands today. WIsh me luck!


Kristina P. said...

I love that you reposted the picture here. The dress is still fabulous.

I thought of you this morning, as I was watching the highly intellectual show, The City. Whitney and her roommate were doing yoga in NYC. That could have been you.

forever folding laundry said...

Ugh - I am very familiar with the unflattering FB picture. That is why I love my 'untag' button. I use it well! :)

Have fun with that daily yoga. Just open your heart, let love manifest, and let your light shine through and you'll be fine!
(No, of COURSE I'm not snickering when I say that!!)


2busy said...

Very cute dress! You look good even with the fantastic sams ponytail.

I think those grannies look fabulous!

I say running for mood enhancement, but that's just me.

Mayhem and Moxie said...

Is this why you are not calling me? Because you are too busy exercising? For the love of God, woman, get your priorities in order. Halloween candy first, phone call to me, second, and AFTER that rigorous routine, if there is still time and energy, then perhaps you can think about aerobics.


PS: I just learned from Keri that you can 'untag' people on FB? Seriously?? I am so going to implement that tip!

kys said...

I like the dress! You look good!

Find a new dr. who is a firm believer in over-medicating.

NIKOL said...

I compassion the phrase "Care Bear Stare" so much!

I'm totally with you about the FB photos. My crazy kid sister posted a ton of pictures from when we were kids. Only I'm 8 years older than her, so when she posts cute photos of her when she was 4 or 5, it was when I was in that horrible awkward stage of puberty. She mercifully took a few of the less flattering ones down. But there are still ones of me at age 10 with the Annie perm.

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

You look fabulous and MUCH younger than everyone else at the party. And I wish I looked as good as those Grannies in a leotard. **sigh**

Counselormama said...

Ugh, I hate when I get an email saying "so and so has tagged you in a picture!" It looks like you had fun! I saw a pic of me at my reunion and untagged it!

seriously? said...

OMG...the tagging on facebook can get out of hand. Then if someone in the pic doesn't have a facebook account because they are crazy or something...their spouse gets tagged or something and it gets all confusing.

I am hoping you took careful notes on what I learned at my HS reunion and I am happy to see that your dress was still on since that was one of my rules! :)

Carin said...

I am not a facebook fan (almost closed my account twice this week) and the picture/tag thing doesn't help.

Speaking of exercise...have you heard of the reformer (pilates)? Are they worth the $? Have you tried them?

Sorry about the doc. Good luck this week!!!!!!


vanessa said...

Compassion is a verb. Awesome. Yes, yes, it is.

Anonymous said...

well sometimes you go for a look and when you see it on pic it doesn't look right. It happened to me at the Britney Spears concert. I wanted to fit in and look 22, but at the end of the day I still looked way older(sigh)

rychelle said...

i say we plan a little trip across the border. mexican prozac is just as good as american prozac. just sayin'.

Kris said...

Lets all just be thankful that it was a yoga instructor AND NOT your therapist that said Care Bear Stare.

I am totally with you on the tagged photos. Usually by the time I've seen the horrible ones, they've already been up there for a few days and my circle has already seen them.

peewee said...

wow Rychelle....SOMEone knows their way around the border patrol!

Clay Aiken's HAlf Brother's friend said...

My ashtanga teacher says, every week during the same pose, "Feel your hips BLOS-soming outwards." I HATE that.