Monday, October 19, 2009

"SHIT!-I'M-OLD" SUNDAYS (so old that I forget it's sunday 'till monday)

Now come on over here little Oprah. Show GrammyBitch your Halloween costume! Ah...I remember my first costu....

ACK! Wha...wha...WHAT the sam hell are you wearin'? I don't even know what you're supposed to be young lady, but alls I DO know is that THAT is no lady!! What did you say? You're a Vampire Stripper Cheerleader??? ACK!

I tell you what Little O, back in MY day we didn't look like no Vampy Ho. Back in MY day things were simpler. You went to the grocery store and bought a BOX.




(oh! to be Boss Hog again!)

And they were all stacked high in the store and we waited and waited until they came out and then we RAN to get our most treasured costume. AND in that box was ONE plastic mask and string with big holes so we could see how to steal candy from the younger kids. AND one big plastic smock/suit that you just put on all simple and easy like.



Now, you HAD to get to the store FIRST THING so you could get the GOOD stuff. The best part little O? Was that you could pick ANY costume, boy or girl, as long as it was IN. And as you know, GrammyBitch was ALWAYS IN.





You didn't wanna be the kid who got their costume too late and had to pick from the "leftovers"....

Like you WANTED to be Donny or Marie Osmond, but then got stuck with


You wanted Scooby or even Shaggy....but...


Or worse yet, getting stuck with a GAME piece as a costume.


Getting the B list stars was pretty pathetic too. Oh the poor soul who had to be Nicholas Bradford :(


Guess they ran out of "gopher"


Or this...

I guess maybe getting the "horseshack" costume coulda been worse....nah...this one is worse.

Now for the kids that got to the store like, the day before halloween were in REAL trouble...


I mean who even wanted to be The guy from the Electric Company? tragic. just tragic.


And last but not least, I'm not sure WHO bought this one for their little boy.


NOT that there's ANYTHING wrong with being a gay biker.

Now, of COURSE GrammyBitch never had a costume faux-pas.

(see my finger in my mouth? I actually REMEMBER testing out the mouth hole to see if candy would fit through there. Some things never change)

Little O, do you see how back in my day we also gave out HOMEMADE treats? Caramel apples! popcorn balls! cookies! The loser houses gave out SINGLE unwrapped marshmallows, whole apples, and pennies taped to a piece of scotch tape and hard candy leftover from last year's Christmas or raisins. Sigh. The good ole days before the razor scare of the 80's.

Sure, our costumes never made it past house #5, but STILL, we had it good. OH so good.

Now remember Little O, GrammyBitch gets to "inspect" your candy, and take out all the um, stuff that's suspicious.

24 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I'm pretty sure that any kid who wore one of those costumes is currently a pedophile.

Counselormama said...

I sooo remember those costumes, and then your breath would make condensation on the inside and you had to lift up your mask to air it out while you were walking, ahhh, good times!

2busy said...

I remember those costumes. I couldn't wait! And, for the record, I am not a pedophile.

peewee said...

Listen up KP...Those are THE ONLY costumes I wore up until 4th grade! I ain't no pedophile. Now i can't speak for the person who bought that "tattoo" costume though. Probably.

kys said...

I would love to make my son wear the Tattoo costume this year!

Thanks for the trip down memory lane!

rychelle said...

one of my early costumes was a ziggy in a box. remember ziggy (the cartoon)? lol

CynthiaK said...

Chachi! Man, that's a great one. Those masks were so freakish... {shiver}

Carin said...

Tell me those aren't on ebay right now! I am off to find this kind of vintage costume for myself this year!!!!!

I love the picture of you and Craig...SO CUTE!!!!!!!

Carin said...

oh my goodness!

http://cgi.ebay.com/Cool-Vintage-PEE-WEE-HERMAN-Halloween-Costume-Mask_W0QQitemZ170395461781QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item27ac5c6895

peewee said...

carin! HAHAHHAHAHHA! I might have to bid on that!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

I laughed so hard at those cosutumes that my giggles pierced the nerdy silence of Barnes and Noble. Now some goth girl and nerdette at a nearby table are giving me the stink-eye. That was undoubtedly one of the funniest things ever.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

I laughed so hard at those cosutumes that my giggles pierced the nerdy silence of Barnes and Noble. Now some goth girl and nerdette at a nearby table are giving me the stink-eye. That was undoubtedly one of the funniest things ever.

seriously? said...

Just pictures of those masks are kinda freakin me out. I have issues with Halloween since my parents would never BUT my costumes. NO JOKE....I was a homemade R2D2 and it was not pretty!!!

forever folding laundry said...

I was the Holly Hobbie version of that freaky plastic costume face one Halloween. I loved it! I remember the plastic "dress" as well. Those were good times. (I also remember my mom checking my candy for razor blades. Such fond memories.)

~Keri

Mayhem and Moxie said...

This post? This one right here that I just read...um, pure GENIUS and exactly why I pledge my eternal love to you. Your words and photos in this post spoke to my very soul.

This is exactly who I was when I was a kid. However, I must mention that the losers also gave out those small boxes of raisins. Didn't this happen in your neighborhood too?

-Francesca

!!The Obnoxious SAHM!! said...

OMG I love these pictures! It took me back to my childhood. I was and still am crazy about wonder woman. I had her plastic mask costume and i thought i was a super hero not to be messed with!

awesome.

Twincerely,Olga said...

hi! What a blast into the past!!! too funny!!

NIKOL said...

My mom never allowed me to wear the plastic-costume-in-a-box. I see the wisdom in that now. But Mom isn't off the hook entirely. One year I wanted to dress like a cheerleader. My mom didn't want to buy pom-poms or a cute cheer skirt. She explained to me (I think I was 7 years old) that some cheerleaders wear shorts, not skirts. And not all of them wore pom-poms. The result? I was a "cheerleader" in a white t-shirt and plain blue shorts. To make it seem more like a costume, my mom put a ton of blue eye shadow on me and blacked in my blonde eyebrows. To say I looked demented would be a gross understatement.

Oh, and no one knew I was a cheerleader that year! Can you believe it?

Wenbren Explains It All said...

loved your post! It brought back fond memories of my Halloween costumes, for some reason I always wanted to be a witch, and it always consisted of one of those costumes in the box, this year times have changed and I will be Lady Gaga, if and only I find a platinum wig...

dede said...

I met Tattoo once while he was promoting some hot tubs in a parking lot - even got a signed autographed picture - wonder what that would be worth on ebay? good times!

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

Ah, good times. I never had a costume in a box. They were too expensive so we were more of a "make your own costume for Halloween" family. In first grade I was a bag lady. Doesn't that explain so much about me?! ;o)

Kris said...

I was deprived as a child and never had a costume in a box. We were forced to go to the thrift store and "make" a costume. This year, I think I want to be Amy Winehouse and scare my coworkers.

Eve said...

Ahh the good ole days when instead of looking like a slutty version of something, we just looked like we were possessed of the devil.

I am almost 100% positive I had that I Dream of Jeanie costume....

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