Friday, June 03, 2011

Pooped Friday

I am exhausted. NOT from all the spinning and walking and general exercise I've been doing the last few months. No. I am pooped because PEOPLE KEEP WEARING PATCHOULI TO SPIN CLASS!!! WHY???? That smell makes me want to die. Its worse than a fart. And it sucks my energy into its nasty vapors. I always try to find the culprit so I can yell at them or spit on them or SOMETHING like I would normally have done pre-personality rehab. But it makes me all dizzy and confused and I feel like PeeWee Herman when he lost his bike and was all wandering around thinking that EVERYONE stole it...

I'm not making sense am I? yah. It's the patchouli fumes. And all the workouts.

But all I have to say is...I've missed you guys SO much! That's the only reason I'm back here, bitching again. Because my life has been lonely and empty without all your funny banter and comments.  And who else will listen to my Fabio sightings and how I ate lunch RIGHT next to heidi montag last week?

Or how I walk by this sign everyday...

and up until just a few days ago thought it was saying "421 brunches for u" and I was all "wow! The banks are giving away brunches now? cool!"

Or look at gratuitous pics of the cutest baby niece ever...

or look at even more pics of the cutest DOG ever!

And WHO else would I share my underwear hoarding problem with??

(I counted 102 pairs....74 brand new) (I guess they didn't really cover this at personality rehab)

SO THANK GOD for you guys!


Kristina P. said...

I forgot Heidi was even alive.

And people still wear Patchouli? All I think of is the kids I work with who smoke pot all day, and then try to tell me they are wearing patchouli. Gross.

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

I've missed you. And your little dog too!

NIKOL said...

It's nice that you reward us for sticking around by showing us a picture of your underwear. I feel privileged. Truly.

I totally thought that sign said BRUNCHES, too. I was like, "Dang. That's a lot of...oh."

Patchouli is the choice fragrance of all four horsemen of the Apocalypse. True story. Since that whole Rapture thing didn't happen in May, they've apparently taken up spinning to pass the time until October.

Kris said...

Patchouli fans take spin classes? I thought they were exclusive to yoga and "water swirling". Then the hemp shoes and women with hairy pits should be a dead giveaway.

Are you going to douse yourself in the Justin Bieber fragrance to give them a taste of their own medicine? Wait, why am I even asking this. Of course you are!

abalone said...


Lin said...

Wow, that's Heidi?? I can't recognize her anymore. And you eat lunch by these people?? Criminy. Even your lunch is exciting compared to mine. Sheesh.

Love the dog and the kid. Underwear....yeah/no. That collection is just wrong. Do you have to do laundry just like once a year?