Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Seriously? What happened to good ole War stories, Stock Market Crashes and Cop Beatings?

It would be REALLY nice to turn on the TV in the morning and NOT have to hear about the horrors in your community FIRST THING. This morning was worse than usual. They were showing innocent stories about Obama haters, underhanded bankers, the earth eroding away...and then BAM they have to sneak in the most horrific of all.


You might wanna stop reading.

A MAN.

Was going outside of his house on a sunday evening.

And his little girl goes "Daddy! A snake!"

And the dad looked over on to his FRONT LAWN to see an 11 FOOT PYTHON creeping across.

All non-chalant like. Like it was a little field mouse, or squirrel who was just makin' his evenin' rounds.

The dad was all "I looked over and was thinking 'oh, a snake' until I saw it and then I was pretty scared'"

PRETTY SCARED???

I don't even know what amount of psychopharmacology would have been required for me to function in daily life after that.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, it's not like he lived in the woods in North Carolina, where stuff like this happens ALL the time! He lived in the OC! Where teen shows are born. Where people shop and go to the beach and stuff.

AND they ended it by saying "It's probably a female and she is lost, so if you're the owner please contact us!"

No. Don't try to make me be all "awwwwww...poor little lost snakey girl." NO.

And if someone's ELEVEN FOOT PYTHON is LOST? Then they should go to prison. NO PAROLE.

How am I supposed to enjoy my coffee now, huh!??!?!?




21 comments:

rychelle said...

when we fist moved to CA our next door neighbors came over to introduce themselves and also let us know their 8 ft boa constrictor was missing. we lived in a town house, so our houses were connected by one wall. they said we might want to keep an eye on our storage room because the attic opened up into that room. needless to say, i didn't sleep for four years. (btw, they found the snake a week later in their dryer vent)

ymK said...

I agree with you. If someone loses their snake, they should be arrested. I don't understand how they are allowed to keep these things as pets in the first place, but losing them is totally unacceptable.

Kris said...

That reminds me of this hot professor I knew who hated snakes and went to Egypt or the Middle East or something for this archeology dig. While he was there, he fell in this giant underground room that was filled with snakes and was trapped there. True story.

Kristina P. said...

I once saw a show about a python crawling up someone's toilet. I sometimes think about that when I'm using the loo. I think that's worse that X-Files Flukeman.

peewee said...

okay...this was NOT a post to OPEN UP PERSONAL SNAKE TALES. Seriously people! I saw enough on the news!

Kelli said...

I was going to say something about a cousin and how I went to her house and she was all, 'I lost my python.' and I was all, 'There's a snake somewhere in here!?!' and she was all, 'Yeah, it happens.'
But I wont. Cause you don't want to hear personal snake stories.

NIKOL said...

Hey, Kris - I remember that hot professor. If I recall, you had a major crush on his son.

Snakes don't really scare me, generally speaking. But I think it's wrong for anyone to own a pet that could kill you. An 11 foot python is just wrong, yo.

abalone said...

you've got to see "snakes on a plane" - you'll love it!!!

Wenbren Explains It All said...

I would be pissing in my pants! When we went to Australia I saw one eating an adult goat so I know what those things can do!Are you serious they would give it back to the owners? They should be banned from owning one again!That's crazy:)sorry I had to share the goat story:(

carin davis said...

I would be hiding behind my little girls...screaming like a little boy!!!!!!

peewee said...

hahahah! Screaming like a little boy! You're funny Carin. Thanks for NOT sharing a snake story :)

2busy said...

I would need some strong medication after an experience like that!

Jillybean said...

How can Simeon "lose" an 11 foot python. It's not exactly like losing your car keys.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

In the OC, huh? Got Spencer and Heidi's address? Just a thought.

forever folding laundry said...

This is reason #541 why I need to move to Hawaii!!

~Keri

Counselormama said...

I hate snakes, anything that can move on the ground WITHOUT legs, is just creepy! That comment from Kris was hysterical, btw!

Kathy B! said...

So you don't want me to post a link to the post I wrote about how ONE TIME IN NC someone was at a traffic light and a big python crawled out from under the car in front of them.... or the guy that was out on his ATV and swear he saw a King Cobra?! Okay I won't.

Fortunately I live in a veritable snake free nirvana. I don't have to worry about this stuff.

Hillbilly Duhn said...

This one time....hahahaha just kidding. I can't think of a snake story at present moment anyway. Not scared of them myself, okay, maybe just a little.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

And i freaked when Elijah came up holden a Garter Snake!

Mega8815 said...

WTF?!?!?! Sheesh right there I turn into a little pile of shit. =)

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