A conversation via skype with my friend today.
ME: Hey! Guess what? I just rented my guest bedroom! Now I can buy that $2,000 Marc Jacobs dress at Bloomies! pay my $2,000 Vet bill!!!
HER: That is Awesome! Congratulations. That must be a huge relief.
ME: It is. And he paid cash and everything already. He's SUPER nice and I can TELL he's normal.
HER: Oh good. What's his name?
ME:---------
HER: What are you doing? why are you looking down and typing?
ME: ummmmm....I'm just. doing. something.
HER: OH MY GOD! You don't even KNOW HIS NAME??
ME: welllll...hang on. I'm just. uh. checking my emails. It's confusing and all. with all the people I interviewed and stuff.
HER: Well, what's his first name at least?
ME----------
HER: YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIS FIRST NAME?!?!?!
ME: {frantically checking emails, stalling) well, I mean, he's from canada! And he's like married and stuff! And he's a film editor or director or something! And he has a wife! In canada! And that means he's normal! annnnndddd.....JOHN! His name is JOHN!!!
HER: {stern face glaring at me through my computer screen}
Okay, well, to be fair, I have GREAT intuition on these things. I KNOW PEOPLE. mostly. except for that one girl who stole all my most expensive shoes.
Oh, and that other one who's name I forget who snuck out in the middle of the night ne'er to return again.
Oh, and the one "actor" A-hole.
Okay. FIne. He's probably setting up his meth lab on my antique desk as I type. But hey! HE PAID IN CASH!
Saturday, January 09, 2010
it's the "economy." The really bad "economy."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
.jpg)
15 comments:
Phew...I am glad I passed the scrutinizing screening process! Am I more normal than I thought?
You need a safety word. Penguin? Red rose? Okay, what ever it is, share it with us so we know. Then when you are sure he's going to kill you, you do a blog post with only your safety word and we'll call the police. Okay?
Wait, is this Tori Spelling's husband?
IS there a nanny cam in the antique dresser?
Penguin! Meg!!!! HAAHHAHAHAHAH!
Ok, for real. let's go with red penguin.
Okay, when I see you blog about red penguin, I'm a-callin' the po-po.
I hope he doesn't turn out to be creepy. That can be a scary thing...
Don't they say that people who have A LOT of cash on them at any given time are super safe and not drug dealers or anything? That's what I thought....
Red penguin is a good safety word. Mine is " for the love of all that is holy, you need to take the kids now because I've had enough for one day!". Kinda long.
he paid in cash - keep focusing on the positive - $$$$
When you get busted for having a meth lab or harboring a bank robber be sure to put a really big guilt trip on the pooches.
So did you Google him yet?
It is the little things, isn't it? Cash covers A lOT of things...
So funny! If someone stole my shoes I don't know if I would ever let anyone in my house ever again.
If he is into crystal meth, let me know. I have been thinking about taking up a meth habit to help me lose weight ;)
I guess the cash will win out every time.
i don't know, my experience with men named "john" has not been very postitive.
but, at least yours told you he was married right up front.....
Post a Comment