Wednesday, August 25, 2010

FAT CAMP: DAY 2 (3? 4? I've lost track)

One of the perks of Fat Ranch is that you get an allotment of "treatments" like massages and stuff. They have like HUNDREDS of different treatments ranging from your normal average deep tissue massage to freaky "shamanic Journey." (no judgments) (but, HAHAHHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA! FREAK!)

I booked your standard massage/facial/mud wrap/mani-pedi treatments and then I swore I would try one of their weirdo ones. And believe you me...I did the LEAST of the crazy. It is called WATSU. Which is WAter+shiATSU. I guess SHITER would have been a less appropriate abbreviation.

um. yah.

You lie in a really pretty indoor pool, which is warm and salt watery and a "healer" or whatever moves you around and stuff. When people around here speak of it they get all "ooooohhhhhh you haaaaaave to do WATSU!"


Basically this is it.....


I didn't have Fabrizio there swirling me around. I had Grandma Time with bling in her teeth. When she was prepping me for my swirly water "massage" she goes "looks like you'll float REAL GOOD"


I was trying so hard not to laugh the whole time. And all I could think was "is it over yet? is it over yet? is it over yet?"

So. That rounded off day 2 of fat camp. Tomorrow I have a nice normal mud wrap.

Did I mention I took like 3 dance classes today? I'll let you know that I have a RECITAL tomorrow. There may or may not be video footage.


Kristina P. said...

That water thing freaks me the hell out. Do Sting and Trudie do that for foreplay?

peewee said...

It was so lame. I was seriously trying not to laugh in her face when she was twirling me around.

Meg said...

That's the most retarded thing I've ever seen. I'd have signed up for the peyote journey massage myself.

Kris said...

Kristina, that was exactly what I was thinking!

Whatever you do...DO NOT sign up for anything called Vichy Shower. Unless you like being naked in front of strangers. You basically lie naked on a table with all these showerhead spraying on different parts of your body while they scrub you with a loofah and rock salt. I had to learn the hard way.

Oh, and I can't wait for your Zumba recital video!

VerDell Christiansen said...

This is wonderful news, Sister K! You'll have the swains lining up, with flowers. Men love a girl who's flexible.