The tragedy of the empty wallet...

I was rooting around in my wallet today to pay for Parking and I realized I had only a 5 dollar bill. That's it. And not like, uh oh, I only have $5 in my wallet and I need to go to the ATM. More like, "How much change do I have in my bag so I can at least buy coffee tomorrow?" (fri. is payday)(phew!)

This hasn't happenned to me since I was like 20 and in junior college when I bought top ramen 10 for $1 (okay okay, I was 30. 30,20,tomato,to-mah-to) And I was a little ashamed. And then I was even more ashamed because last weekend my friend was here with her little girl and her kid had a pringles container with like, ALL her money in it, in nickel and penny currrency, and she put it in my bag and it spilled all over and she cried and cried and I was like "it's okay kid, I'll get it all and give it back later" and I was thinking "that's so cute that she's all worked up over some silly change." WELL. Today, I SPENT HER MONEY.
I.HAD.TO.
I.SPENT.THE.WORLD.SAVINGS.OF.A.7YR.OLD.
IN.NICKELS.AND.PENNIES.

all for a coffee fix.
all time low. all time low.

welllll, a girl's gotta eat after all.

And then I was all "how did it come to this?" and then I was all "it is totally my parent's fault' and here's why....

I go to a shrink once a week who costs $200 dollars AN HOUR! . And had my parents sat me down in high school, and shook me hard and said "YOU WILL go to college and YOU WILL major in psychiatry" then I would be WAY better off. NOT ONLY would I be earning $200 an hour in a cushy high rise office with a secretary to fetch my snacks, but also I would have unlimited access to psychtropic drugs. Also I am sure shrinks have shrink friends so I would be able to get some free counseling over brunch and friday nite tapas. And my days would be filled going "uh huh. I see. mmmm. let me write you a prescription for that. our time is up! Off you go!" And also I could go home every night being all "at least I'm not one of THOSE sad suckers.

SO see, maybe if they had done their job early on, informed me really of life's possibilities, I would not be planning on what I need to return at Nordstrom's tomorrow just to pay my Starbucks dealer.