Times They are a Changin'

I went to my friend's little girl's 4th birthday party this weekend. And she's one of my closest friends....been hangin' out since kindergarten. She went all out for this party. Actual kids were invited and everything! There was a taco cart and a bouncy house and a clown. This was the kind of crazy party we regularly make fun of. The "party favors" were better than the present I got for her.

I kept rolling my eyes and she kept going "I know, I know....I just couldn't help it!" Then I pointed to the floor, to the shiniest prettiest pinkest castle I ever saw. It had fringe. It had sparkly windows. It had Princess Minnie Mouse looking out the windows. And I was like "who gave her THAT? THAT is SOOO cute!"

She said "oh. That's the pinata."

WHAT?!?!? Pinata?? That's. That's. THAT'S A CASTLE! If I got that as a PRESENT I woulda played with it for YEARS. YEARS! PINATA! Hmph.

she said "oh, yah, well, that's ONE OF the pinatas....here. I'll show you the rest."

Then she showed me the other PinataS. Plural. Let's see. There were THREE.

she opened up the palm of her hand and swept it over the other "pinatas" in her kitchen.

"THIS one here is the pinata for adults (Corona beer bottle. My height) And this one is the Pinata for the younger kids (same pink sparkly Minnie mouse thing, just not full castle) (but still half my size) And the Castle one is for Isabella to hit."

Uh huh. I see. Sooooo, are they ALL filled with candy?

she said "uh huh!"

I picked up the corona bottle for the "adults" and could barely lift it.

WHAT is IN here? Candy? Diamonds? Bed Bath and beyond coupons? I mean, do they ALL have the same candy? Or do we adults get like good stuff. Like king sized snickers or what?

she laughed "you'll just have to wait and seeeeeee...."

And so like, is there something special in isabella's private pinata?

She said "no. Just the same candy. It's the one she can hit until it breaks. And then the other one is for the smaller kids to hit, after she has hit hers."

Okayyyyyyyeeeeee.

I couldn't wrap my head around any of this. It hurt my heart to think that the GIANT beautiful minnie mouse princess castle was about to be beat to a pulp. And to think....I was THRILLED to even GET a pinata. ONE. IF my mom was feeling rich that year. And MY birthday party pinata was a mexican DONKEY.



NOT a giant pretty castle!

When it came time for me to watch Isabella beat the crap outta minnie's castle my pulse began to race. It was VERY uncomfortable. wrong, even. You may as well have made me watch as you set fire to my manolo blahnik shoe collection.

I tried to find a pic of the castle pinata online to drive home the travesty of it all and I was opened up to a whole world of pinatas I had never known existed. SO, in case you're ever in need, there's this

GEORGE BUSH PINATA


or this made me laugh too. If I were Hilary I'd be a little annoyed at how fat they made my face....

THE HILLARY CLINTON PINATA

and my personal favorite....if only for the detail...

(Because you never know when you might need an osama bin laden pinata)

Who knew?

We've come a long way from the burrow my friend. A lonnnngggg way indeed.