Well. It's January 19th. And I think this is THE perfect time to discuss your New Year's Resolutions.
"huh?"
"what?"
Yah. Remember those? TWO WHOLE WEEKS ago you wanted to add some new stuff to your life, give up some habits, lose some weight perhaps?
And then, now, they're probably long forgotten. You're reading this with a cigarette in one hand and a chocodile in the other. And you've given up. "ah well, stupid resolutions!" you say. All is not lost little bunny. All is not lost.
SO I am here to propose the NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION SUBSTITUTION
You simply just substitute a lesser form of the goal you had set! Like, lets say yours was "I am gonna go on a diet!" (real original by the way) SO instead of a diet your resolution substitution would be "go on a diet...for a day!" get the picture?
here are some other common ones...
RESOLUTION: Be Nicer to people
SUBSTITUTION: Be nicer to self. YOU are people too!
RESOLUTION: WATCH LESS TV
SUBSTITUTION: WATCH LESS NEWS
RESOLUTION: Exercise more
SUBSTITUTION: Exercise peace. as in massages and pedicures.
RESOLUTION: SPEND LESS MONEY
SUBSTITUTION: SHOP ONLY SALES AND/OR TARGET. ANYthing at target is fair. Target discount store.
RESOLUTION: Read more books.
SUBSTITUTION: BUY more books.
RESOLUTION: BE MORE ORGANIZED. LESS CLUTTER IN LIFE
SUBSTITUTION: BUY MORE CONTAINERS AT CONTAINER STORE AND/OR IKEA
RESOLUTION: Be on computer less. Get outside more
SUBSTITUTION: Get Wireless device. Blog on porch.
There you go! No failure. Just SUBSTITUTE! Now, tell me YOUR resolution substitution! And start dropping those words in conversation. Lets see if it catches on. You will be WAY hip and cool with your new phrase. SOOOOO city.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Underachievers Anonymous
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8 comments:
ok - I will give it a try (although, I think I would be better off just sending you my list to redo)...
RESOLUTION: play more with my kids
SUBSTITUTION: let my kids play more with other kids!
HAHA! NICE one dede!!!
Well, my resolution to blog in the nude is still intact. You're welcome.
Resoluation: Spend more time with my husband.
Substitution: Spend more time with my husband while watching trasht reality TV shows.
RESOLUTION: CHILL THE FUCK OUT
SUBSTITUTION: ROB A BANK AND SPEND THE MONEY ON COFFEE ENEMAS
dear anonymous....this isn't the post secret post blog.
xoxo
Mia culpa, PeeWee. I hope that our award did not imply that your posts are not worth reading. Quite the contrary, as so very clearly illustrated by this brilliant post.
You are like a breath of fresh air on the blogosphere. Our goal was for everyone to be as appreciative of your creativity as us. :)
-Francesca
PS: I am a bit afraid of your anonmyous commenter...coffee enemas?!?
K, coffee enemas? Not me. Even though you know my affinity for cleansing farms.
Such an awesome post.
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