Wednesday, April 22, 2009

We're not in kansas Anymore


I'm at ANOTHER econo-lodge. My quality of life has drastically gone downhill in the last few days. There's a taco bell right outside my window. Normally this would excite me to no end. But here? It terrifies me.  At least it's not a KFC. Now THAT would be low rent! I'd go someplace better but NO ONE takes dogs! Except these people. 


I'm somewhere in Illinois. I went across 70 instead of 80. I may or may not have speeding tickets in Iowa and/or Illinois. SO I skipped Iowa all together and am probably wanted here in Il. Well, that's EXACTLY how I feel in this place. Like a criminal on he run. SO I took the best route that barely goes through said banned states.

If you don't hear from me for the next few days I may be in the Pokey. Well, let's HOPE you don't hear from me, cuz if you DO hear from me then it will be for bail money. So maybe stay away from the phone tomorrow.

Here are a few points about this road trip...

-all the way down 70 through Kansas were "arguing" billboards. They went like so...

JESUS SAVES!
ADULT XXX SALE SALE SALE

Pornography is a SIN.
ADULT XXX DISCOUNT WAREHOUSE!

No God. No Peace. KNOW GOD. KNOW PEACE.
ADULT XXX TOYS! FREE PARKING!

Then there was the random stray "MY MOMMY DECIDED NOT TO KILL ME" anti-abortion sign. They musta had a bad year. Budget cuts. 

-I passed by the "worlds biggest prairie dog." I was VERY tempted to stop. 

-I ate nothing but rice krispy treats  and protein shakes today. Okay fine, just rice krispy treats. I feel a little weak. But that's better than fast food...right? Yah. Totally

-David Archuletta is singing on Idol right now. He is just too cute. His song is lame. But adorable! What is it with me and teen boys? I left Zac in the car. SO he won't be pissed at me for leering at david. But he doesn't need to worry. When David talks he sounds like Mickey Mouse. TOTAL turn off!

-I finished that twilight 2nd book on CD. It DID take 20 hours, which was great. But I gotta say, the main girl, Bella, is the neediest woman in the history of all women.  She seriously sets us back a few centuries.

uhhh. That's all. I have 15 hours left tomorrow! Who's gonna be cranky and disheveled tomorrow night? yah. Zac. he looks like HELL. We ran outta Paul Mitchell Mousse. 


10 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I think you forgot to mention the part where you were actually banned from three States.

And I love dueling billboards.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

I just watched Idol too. Uh, I think D.A. may be a little more risky than Zac. Pretty sure Zac is legal, similiarly sure that Archuletta is in 7th grade.

Please stay out of jail, whether it be for Archuletta or being Iowa's most wanted. By the way, your picture of the dog reminded me of this -

http://www.homestarrunner.com/tgs9.html

Kathy B! said...

Ii fully expect to see your mug shot in the bank tomorrow when I go to make my deposits... No wonder you're making such good time!

Counselormama said...

Have you seen the arrow signs on the roadsides yet? They gotta be around somewhere! I am not delusional, I swear.

Meg said...

Econolodge? I'd rather camp. Bleh.

dede said...

I hope the roaches stayed away last night and you got a early start for your LONG haul today! I will be sure to check caller id before I pick up the phone today! good luck!

rychelle said...

LOVE that pic! TEN AND TWO!

you left zac in the car?!? the hell? please don't make me call child protective services.

forever folding laundry said...

Oh my gosh...you're still driving!! I'm tired FOR you! Hang in there....

~Keri

CynthiaK said...

Good luck on the continued drive. I have visions of Pee-Wee and Mickey driving at night and the road signs are getting more and more twisted. Try to stick to the main roads and, if you need to make a call in a biker bar, don't forget your platforms.

seriously? said...

Where the heck are you???? Do I need to contact my mother and get an APB out on you???