Thursday, June 04, 2009

The dangerous streets of New York....

I went to see the best movie ever tonight (more about that later) and then my friend and I went out for dinner at a predominantly gay restaurant/bar. The problem with these places is that the food is expensive and usually sux. Of course they majorly screwed up my dinner, not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES. It went like this...

MY cheeseburger is well done. I ordered medium rare.
My new cheeseburger is now more well done than the last one.
My third new cheeseburger is practically raw now.

SO they offered me a free drink. bleh. I don't drink barely ever. When I do I start sneezing like crazy and that is so HOT. I was like "I guesssssssss...I'll have the blood orange cosmo" It was pink and pretty! So I took a sip. It was like ALL ALCOHOL. No wonder their food's bad. They can't TASTE it. But still, it was so pretty, so I sipped a few more sips. For real I had about 1/5 of that cosmo.

THEN My friend and I parted ways. I, a wee bit tipsy, made my way home walking in the dark.

And THIS is what sets New York apart from other cities. You walk home. You don't just get tipsy and then get dropped off. This is when it gets scary. Those dark walks home, your judgement slightly impaired. Not knowing WHAT will jump out at you. 

Annnndddd what jumped out at me was...

SALE!! up to 70% OFF!!


We're not talking ONE store either. They're all lined up. AND tucked away on small streets. So no one is there to hear your screams for help. I ended up with THREE new dresses, only ONE of which was on sale. That's how they get you. The sale stuff is lame. Size 00's. Neon and whatnot. 

And to make matters worse, these are not the kind of stores that take kindly to returns. And I SWEAR of the non-sale stuff they only put out ONE of each size so they can be all "yah...that's the last one...company wide...in THE WORLD."

AND unlike every other mall in the world, they stay open LATE...to GET YOU. And just when you've left one store, there's another lurking around the next corner. Must have panties, an adorable pad of paper with matching bra, that cute hardback book sitting in the window of an adorable bookstore and WHY NOT just pop in for a mani/pedi? (at the mani/pedi place they even OFFER YOU FREE DRINKS! with things called the 'summer watermelon martini pedi')

I mean, we're completely helpless creatures out there in the city all alone. Where are Benson and Stabler when u need 'em?
Anyway. Go see the movie 'UP' because honestly it's the best movie in the history of all movies! I cried 10 times AT LEAST.  In a good way. I know I'm partial since the star dog is a golden retriever. But for real I might have to say that it's my all time favorite kid's movie...MAYBE even my all time favorite movie. Seriously.

I'm going to go watch late night L&O SVU reruns to see if I can learn any new self defense techniques!

18 comments:

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

You are very lucky to live in a neighborhood that supports 'round the clock shopping. Jealous!

Will probably see Up this weekend with the kiddies. I had a funny feeling that I'd love that dog when I saw the preview. Glad it was a good movie.

Chaka said...

You think like me. I am always looking to blame my bad financial decisions on the service at restaurants when I eat out. I understand restaurants can make mistakes, but it is frustrating when they totally screw up your order so bad.

carin davis said...

Between these guys and the apple store salesman, you'd think the whole world was out to get you...or your money!

I will have to see UP! Annie liked it too!

peewee said...

haha! yah Carin...I'll start getting all paranoid with conspiracy theories and thinking that I'm being followed by Gap salesmen.

Kristina P. said...

I lack whimsy. I won't see UP.

But can we play mugger/victim when I visit.

Dads(2) said...

but you could whip out some YOGA moves and be all YOGA like . . they wouldn't know what hittem . . . but for the sale, you're on your own! I'm right there with yah!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

When can I come? I have my bags packed and am ready to go. I love sales, even if it leads to more.. and more.. I can handle it.

rychelle said...

what? you don't drink? i thought we were going to hit all the bars!!! ;)

(are you sure you're not mormon? ha!)

peewee said...

Rychelle...I think I was totally born mormon and then left on some heathen's doorsteps. Explains why I love game night AND coffee.

dede said...

next time you need to go to dinner at a place that allows dogs THEN you can give them the yucky hamburger, they can protect you on your walk home AND you won't be able to go into all the stores with them!

NIKOL said...

It's rather ingenious of these places, knowing that folks will be walking by when their judgement is impared and taking full advantage of it.

Pixar never disappoints. Cars notwithstanding. Have you seen they're making Toy Story 3? I don't know how it could top the last one.

Kris said...

Not only did you find a open late boutiques, but late nite NAIL SALONS? WHAT?! How have I been living without for so long? It's like I live in the dark ages!

Debbie said...

Everybody is talking about that movie. I'm usually too cheap to go to movies but I might have to make and exception for this one.

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Are you telling me that Benson and Stabler are not wandering the streets of NY, helping to keep the peace? WTF? My image of where you are living is completely shattered.

Guess I'll just have to go back outside and sit by my mailbox and contemplate this for a while.

-Francesca

3 Bay B Chicks said...

Why leave one comment, when you can leave two?

I tried to go see Up with my kids last weekend, but couldn't. Too many freaky Bay Area single mean, without kids, in line.

Again, WTF?

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

Sounds very dangerous. The kind of dangerous that I really like. ;o)

Kathy B! said...

You are so funny. I was a little worried when I read the post title... glad to hear you didn't get molested by a bad pair of jeans.

As for Up? I'm glad I'm not the only one who cried!

forever folding laundry said...

Malls open late?? That is pure danger, you're right. Keep yourself safe out there.

I couldn't agree with you more about "Up". Totally my favorite movie. (And I don't think I'm being biased whatsoever.) :)

~Keri