I have a LOT of friends scheduled to come visit me in the next few coming weeks. I can't help that wherever I go? THEY FOLLOW. It's not EVEN because I'm in NYC and they're using me for a free place to stay. It's like, I could be in a cabin in the ozarks and STILL they'd be booking flights.
First off, we have a LOT of cockroaches here. It can be VERY ANNOYING. So, it's good if you can remember to pack your RoachSwatterSlippers, or as we call them 'Roach-flops'. Coach just came out with some awesome leather ones for summer....you can get them online. Just click on Coach Roach Summer '09!
And then we also drink LOTS of coffee here. AND, for me anyway, I'm ALWAYS running into fans and celebs and whatnot. SO def bring your pole cup holders. Because you just never know when you're gonna need to answer your phone or, for my tourist friends, pull out a map (but don't do that in front of me, k?)(seriously)(I will point and laugh at you and pretend to have never met you if you pull out a map)( I might even kick you and run away)
There's ALSO a LOT of waiting around for cabs and subways and stuff. Also it's crowded here! Mostly there's never even a place to sit at Starbucks! SO for SURE don't forget your Seat-a-round! (brought to you by the makers of hov-a-round) And seriously, if you don't already own one, GET ONE because they work ANYwhere! Even when it's all crowded on the streets and you just get tired! hello! Now, you can just have a seat!
And speaking of being exhausted! We walk a lot in this town! SO you need to pack your Subway Hat, for when you fall asleep on the subway. It lets people know you're not a slumped over drunk! (and even if you ARE drunk...people won't know if you have your subway hat) If you forget to pack it, that's cool, because they have them here with the Yankees Logo or Les Mis or I HEART NY. SO CUTE!
And, as you know, you HAVE to protect yourself from disaster here in NY. Whether it be swine flu or WMD's or Bio-terrorist attacks...you HAVE to be prepared....BUT you can't be all house-frau weirdo either! At least not around ME! You have to be protected AND wear some bling! because if there IS a disaster...you don't wan't people LAUGHING at you! SO, Gucci, and Louis Vuitton and Prada have Saved us ALL! And don't worry if you're on a budget....they sell knock-offs on the corner.
And finally, If you're a dude coming to visit me...or a butch lesbian, bring your WALLET TIE! Wallet Ties are the new Man-Purse, only you don't have to be called a Nellie or a Mary anymore!! (except for the lesbo girls, people will still call u butch...oh well, what do you do)
That should do it for essential items....but also bring LOTS of cash, so your hostess doesn't have to pay for anything!
can't WAIT to see everyone!!!