Monday, July 20, 2009

This is a yoga-mercial. The ideas expressed in this blog are in no way endorsed by anyone.

I had to go to "physical therapy" today for the first time. I was all excited for a nice foot massage, or a therapist to just sit there and move my foot around and stretch stuff and be all "I can NOT buh-lieve you've been walking around with this horrible foot injury! You poor poor thing! You are SUCH a brave pioneer!"

I did NOT expect "okay, so sit here for a second and I'll be right back and we'll start with some exercises."
"Whach you talkin' bout Willis?""Physical Therapist lady say Wha?"

ugh. Injuries are NOT what they make them out to be on TV! I mean, all those people who call Jacoby & Meyers are sittin pretty in their mansions, on their Rascals that they got cuz they slipped at work! They got THOUSANDS! Hundreds of thousands! They didn't have to EXERCISE! Pfft.

I think I'm ready to just head back to CA now. I'm bored all holed up in an apt in NYC ordering delivery all day doing nothing. When I COULD be driving across Nebraska listening to Book 3 in the Twilight series!

You don't understand. Things are dire here. I am watching TV shows I've never even HEARD of before. I even did the ultimate boredom no no. I watched an entire half hour of...of...an INFO-MERCIAL. An info-mercial with heidi Klum and her magic disappearing wrinkle wand tide stick looking thing. And...and...I considered ORDERING IT.

And then I saw a show about a "natural" mom who gave birth on her boyfriend's LAP. On purpose. And they SHOWED IT. And a show about a woman adopting a baby in Korea...and I cried! I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT ANYONE ADOPTING THINGS IN KOREA!!!

These aren't even shows discussed amongst my already low-brow circle of sisterhood. (no offense to anyone.) I mean, discussing today's Tyra show is one thing...yesterday's Soap Network Battle of the Stars? no.
These things have scarred me for life.

Oh my gosh...Cash Cab Marathon is on!!! See ya.

16 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Well, well, well. I thought that this was a dream situation!! Imgaine that you have to actually do something sucky.

I wish I were watching Cash Cab.

NIKOL said...

Therapy and exercise are not supposed to go hand-in-hand. That's just not right at all.

Daytime TV is so weird. I have this theory that people start watching soap operas because there's literally nothing else on. Yeah, soaps are kind of ridiculous. But you can only watch so many reruns of F Troop on TV Land before you give up the ghost.

2busy said...

When there is nothing on TV during the day, I like to turn on HGTV, but even that starts to recycle.

peewee said...

Oh HGTV...how I love thee let me count the ways....Can we say DESIGN STAR?!?!

Nikol...HAHAHAHH! The ghost! HAH!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

The universe is like that, all bitter and spiteful with the TV programming. All the good shows are on at night when you are too tired to watch without falling asleep. Then during the day, there ain't poo to watch but HSN. Just. Say. No. There is no greater buyer's remorse than a home shopping purchase.

Kathy B! said...

You need to get out of there, stat, before your head explodes. Or something! That bad tv stuff will pull. you. in....

dede said...

I promise (for the sake of therapy) we won't turn the tv on once while you are here - hurry and leave! I was thinking, if you drove straight through you could bring me some bagels and you will be able to stay more days and you will be able to rest your foot a lot because Wesley will take care of the dogs...

Meg said...

For my physical therapy for my knee, you should have seen what they wanted me to do! Lifting weights! Seriously! It's just wrong.

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

Well, out of all those disturbing things, I think I find the woman giving birth on her boyfriends lap the worst. Seriously?! Ick. If you leave now, you could make it to Utah in time to go camping with me!! Come on...ya know you waaaant to. Who doesn't want to go camping with a 2 & 4 year old?!

OK, you don't have to go camping. But I'll make you an oreo cake. That's the best kind of therapy for any kind of injury.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Wow. That does sound pretty pathetic. Infomercials? Cash Cab? Hmm.
Order some Lo Mein from Tao and you'll feel better.

carin davis said...

Can I interest you in Chinese take out, m&ms and the train game!!!?

Counselormama said...

Don't forget to watch I think it's called either "Drama Island" or "Total Drama Island" you will die laughing! Hope you get better soon, no more meds? boo!

rychelle said...

please tell me the "medi-van" was as glamorous as we imagined it would be! and that you asked them to run all your errands.

i watched THREE hours of cash cab yesterday. and thought of you the whole time.

miss you already!

Kris said...

Whoa. Hold up.

A woman gave birth on her boyfriend's lap? On TV? ???? Man, the things I miss out on. What do you want to bet that's how she got pregnant in the first place?

Hillbilly Duhn said...

lol.

Cash cab is awesome!!

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