Tuesday, July 21, 2009

poos and granny shoes

Had to go to the geriatric care unit foot doctor today. I won't say the P word because I've already been through enough 'old lady trauma' these past two weeks. But I had to look at x-rays of my feet. EWWWW! Creepy! I looked all Jack Skellington.


Now I can't even look at my feet without being grossed out. Like there's a DEAD THING living inside me! {shiver}

And can I just mention that whilst I was waiting for the foot doctor I had an interesting array of products and fungus toe pictures and hammer toe skeletons staring at me? Like I was in the house of foot horrors. The upside? Pre-xrays I was VERY enamored with my perfect non fungal, non hammer-toed feet.

Then the doctor said "I can tape up your foot OR you might want to consider orthodics"

I was all TAPE IT UP I WILL NOT GET ORTHODICS UNTIL I AM 75

THEN for the rest of my super fun day I had to take a poo sample to the vet! I just LOVE Mick. If there is something to GET, he gets it.

And this, folks? Is my glamorous life in New York. Whatever Whitney Port and your tan grover arms! I'll show YOU the city!

17 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Your life is SOOOO much more glamorous than Carrie Bradshaw's. Why don't you take a swim in the Washington Square fountain, just for me?

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

I'm with you. Save the cookie in the shoe until after your hip replacement surgery.

WTF is up with that girl's arms? Are they really that furry or is it just bad lignting? Nasty!

Meg said...

But orthopedic shoes are sexy! Perhaps it might help you catch an 80-year old rich as hell geezer in NYC who's got one foot in the grave! You know, common interests. Huh? Huh? See? Silver lining!

Ps. Is that really arm fuzz? Gross. Why doesn't she wax?

Kris said...

FACT: Paris Hilton has giant bunion feet.

There. Don't you feel better about your feet now?

rychelle said...

i am SHOCKED that he did not prescribe you bandals!

what is wrong with mickey???? he misses me, doesn't he?!?

Counselormama said...

That is the same exact reaction I would have had. Word for word.

2busy said...

I never knew going to the foot doctor would be like a horror movie. My sympathies...

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Yes, very glamorous life you lead. But just remember, at least you're not the podia... I mean, foot doctor who has to look at those gnarly feet all day. Now, don't you feel better?

Stay off my blog for a few days--I don't want to you get jealous of my new shoes.

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

I got orthodics when I was 16 and totally made them sexy. Ha! Also, I just gave myself a pedicure for our upcoming camping trip. ;o) It must be foot day.

peewee said...

hahahahhaha!!! You guys all just crack me up. THIS is why I blog. :)

dede said...

coming from someone that has had MORE than one old person foot surgery - I will remind you that it is what is on the OUTSIDE that counts - so, go get a pedi for your perfect little toes and next time you are feeling down you can picture my feet (which could either cheer you up or make you sick?). I would also suggest that you NOT get inserts, that would be one expensive "flip flop" for Mickey!

Hit 40 said...

Oh DAMN!! I never did take my cat's poop to the vet. They are always asking to check it out. And.... I always give them empty promises that I will bring back a stool for them.

I have an adorable banana toe too!! Aren't we both HOT!!!

Hit 40 said...

And... I don't twitter. So, I clicked follow on the top bar :-)

Kathy B! said...

How are you going to teach me yoga if you don't get yourself fixed up?! Get with it, woman.

the letters i wish i'd written said...

Oh sweet merciful jesus, I feel your pain, I hate feet!

forever folding laundry said...

I feel your pain! I had to go to the P-Doc not too long ago and he also recommended orthotics. AAAACK! The horror!!! I'll hold out as long as possible as well. (Or at least until you give in.)

~Keri

3 Bay B Chicks said...

This post may require me to re-evaluate our friendship. I only hang with cool people. Orthopedic shoes are not cool.

Even if you feet end up all shriveled and mangled, at least you will be able to hold your head up high when we are at a bar together.

-Francesca