Thursday, September 24, 2009

Well look what the cat dragged in!

DING DONG.

"Chinese Delivery Guy? Is that you? Hang on...let me get the door..."



MOXIE MONA! What brings you to tinseltown so early? I wasn't expecting you until NEXT we..."

"Listen up Beee-yotch. I've been up to MY EARS with Mini Vans and crazy kids this week. Never seen so many kids in all my life. Moxie is read-ay to get Foxie after some Botoxie. SO hook a girl up, yo."

"....mmm.....Perfect! I'll need some bigger boobs, little lips injections, lipo on the thighs...."


*sigh* Listen Mox, you're all Tranny right now. Your outfit is so two thousand and late. The goth hair?! And that Pasty Mayo skin? uh, no. And Cuff bracelets???.... "Hello? yesterday's news? This is moxie calling. I'd like to cancel my subscription. I already subscribe to Behind the Times."

{cue Michael Jackson's "Man in The Mirror"}


MOXI! You're gettin' a hollywood make-over. I'm making appointments for you. STAT.

....many "procedures" later, we made our final stop.


And then I called up Hollywood's most FAMOUS make-up artist.


BEFORE:


AFTER:


KNOCK KNOCK....MOXIE!? You home yet? {as I open my door...}





I didn't kick her out. Even though she allowed Zac to see her man-howdy in MY BED. But as the week went on, she started hangin with Lindsay and Paris, adopting the hollywood lifestyle that her trips to Utah and Kentucky didn't prepare her for. And well, let's just say that she won't be "Around the blogosphere" any time soon.


She'll be here the next 90 days...or so...



Thanks Moxie Media Girls!

Hosted by:
Better in Bulk
Mama’s Losin’ It
Mayhem & Moxie
Scary Mommy
& 7 Clown Circus


26 comments:

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Ok, that was hilarious and twisted, but help me out here . . .Who the hell is Moxie? I keep seeing this Linda Carter looking broad stamped on peoples blogs and now I just watched her most intimate of exploits. What's her sitch?

Hillbilly Duhn said...

That has got to be the funniest Moxie Mona visit I've seen yet. Holy freakin crap that was hillarious!!!

ROFLMAO

angie said...

Mona did the Hollywood thing, did she? :)

peewee said...

It's from this Awesome Media group...

http://mayhemandmoxie.com/promotions/

Kristina P. said...

Soooo, remember when we were eating breakfast at Johanna's, and I asked if you were going to do this, and you were like, "Icky, icky, poo, I don't know what you are talking about!"

Just sayin'.

But I love it. I'm so glad that all my lessons about Mormonism totally went out the window and she's now the Lindsay Lohan of Wonder Woman dolls.

Kristina P. said...

Oh, and I thought Mona couldn't get any creepier looking. Guess I was wrong.

Mama Kat said...

Wow....looks like Mona saved her mid life crisis for you. Sorry about that. Looks like the other trips she went on really wore her down, poor thing.

dede said...

how many hours did you devote to that??

Laura said...

were you following me when I lived in L.A.? Such a slippery slop and then you all of a sudden have blonde hair. Awesome post with Mona darlin'. Come stop by today to see Mona land in San Francisco sweetie!

Kris said...

I could probably learn a few things from Moxie Mona.

Counselormama said...

This was hilarious, you are so creative!

rychelle said...

i can't believe what i'm seeing!

six months with you, and zac has turned into a man whore?!? and a SMOKER?!?!?!?!?

this is breaking my heart.

(you are a comic genious)

peewee said...

I KNOW! RIGHT?!? I kicked him to the curb!.....well, for the night anyway. He's just soooooo cute, and, and, he said it meant NOTHING.

kyslp said...

You are one twisted be-yotch! I think I love you.

Scary Mommy said...

It's a good thing Mona's trip is winding down-- Anymore time in Tinseltown would surely do her in! Fabulous job. :)

♥georgie♥ said...

100% Hysterical! Loved it

forever folding laundry said...

You have sooooooo done Cali proud! LOVE her LA makeover. (BTW, I didn't know Mona was such a tramp. She seemed pretty respectable when she was at my house. She totally had me fooled.)

~Keri

Mouthy Housewife said...

already subscribe to "behind the times" Brilliant. The spray tan was hilarious.

carin davis said...

that was VERY funny....
and she made me feel much better about my dark hair and pale skin...! LA was NOT good to her! :)

Yaya said...

You are HILARIOUS! You must be my new bff!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

I left you an award on my blog. Here is the legal fineprint - Receipt of the Honest Scrap award does not require you to participate fully. Some of you just prefer to take the badge and stick it on your blog and that's OK. Your good enough, smart enough and doggonit, people like you. The Honest Scrap award had the following side effects in clinical trials with rats - hives, weight gain, mood swings,random trunk movements, four hour erections and the desire to watch Desperate Housewives and cry. If you are the product of lab rat lovin, you should not accept the Honest Scrap award. Results may vary. Void where prohibited by law.

Kathy B! said...

Now I know why She slapped down Prince Charming when she was out in NC... she was holdin' out for the Zefron!

You've TRULY outdone yourself.

vanessa said...

Hahahaha! This is awesome. Replete w/ an overdose. Nicely done.

Anonymous said...

I think at your age you could find a better use of your time.

peewee said...

uh oh! I think my mom (anonymous) found my blog!!

I know I know!! And you know what? The days I manage to post are my PRODUCTIVE days. Can u imagine 20 yrs from now?? It'll be nothing but the LMN network and Michelina's frozen entrees!

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

Impressive how you were able to undo all the mini van wholesomeness so quickly. Impressive and slightly disturbing. ;o)