QUOTE OF THE DAY
HUSBAND: Listen. I don't want to argue with you.
WIFE: Then stop talking
Little Oprah! Little Obama....where are yoooooooouuuuu? Grammybitch made you some cooki...AACK! What the sam hell are you wearin? Oprah! You go put a decent skirt on RIGHT now. One where your ass doesn't hang out! And take off that daisy duke top too. Something with sleeves! And Little Obama...Pull those pants up! I can see your cracker crack! And pull those bangs out your eyes. You look like a damn sheep dog! UGH! You kids dont' know how to look these days. It's all slop.
I tell you what...back in MY day it was all about hip couture. *sigh* We had it all. The hair. The clothes. And I tell you what again...you're LUCKY because your grammybitch KNEW fashion. From the very beginning I had my thumb on the pulse of fashion forward trends.
I had the first mohawk in this family. Like I said FASHION FORWARD. Even before I could talk.
After that? It was all about the Dorothy Hamil cut and the Lacoste. See that alligator? I was the first. Paris. Rome. Milan. ME. (GreatUncleDumass sure did put the "raggedy" in that Raggedy Ann & Andy cake!) (He tried, bless his heart)(you can tell by my face how much I LOVED that cake)
Like I said. Bangs. Lacoste (still! before my time!) Oh, and the shorts!! I was Jack Tripper BEFORE there was jack Tripper.
Grammybitch was even fashionable in sleepwear! Forget that Victoria's Secret Hobag crap! It was all about the LANZ ruffle collar nightgown. I don't even need to point out those designer specs. They speak for themselves! That's your GreatAuntHippie and GreatUncleDrunky. CLEARLY they didn't inherit my fashion sense. It's okay. We can't ALL be Vogue Models!
And still! I constantly set the trends with the Farah Fawcet bangs! That's your GreatUncleDumbass. And that dual photography? They just don't make em like that anymore. Straight outta the pages of Cosmo!
I don't just KEEP UP WITH the times. I SET them! Esprit! (VERY FRENCH) And we wore our collars up! To accentuate the fierce edges of the hair. It's all very Picasso like.
GrammyBitch and her au-natu-rel blonde hair! That's what the sun-
inshine does! Again with the bangs...do you see how high and FULL they are? That was HOT little O's....HOT. Not to mention my famous Brooke Shield Brows. None of them pencil scraps for me! I was blessed. Thank you Jesus.
Oh! By the 90's I had it ALL
Guess Jean shorts. check.
Oversized multi plaid Ralph Lauren shirt. check.
Tanning bed tan. check.
NATURAL blonde. check
White socks with Penny Loafers. check.
And, do you SEE my Barbizon Model stance? It's my signature. VOGUE.
It was all about the Couture. High Fashion. Take a lesson grandkiddies....and hope, just HOPE that my genes will evolve in you SOMEday. And when they do? You're WELCOME!
LAST WEEK'S POST
Sunday, September 27, 2009
QUOTE OF THE DAY