Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Mommy Dearest

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family.... in another city
- George Burns

My mother has been giving me the silent treatment. She has refused to call me since Nov. This is pretty typical. And I gotta say that it's a RELIEF in a way, because she has the tendency to call me like, 5 times a day, and if I don't return her call within the hour I will PAY! OH YES I WILL.

But I've known for a while that I needed to call her soon, if only to get back into the will. I mean, I'm not getting any younger and I have no 401k. soooo, you know. (though my therapist did point out to me awhile back that expecting an inheritance from my mom? well, I'd have better chances with the lottery)

I finally called her yesterday and with gritted teeth listened to her crazy rants about how spoiled and bratty and ungrateful her kids are and how when we were younger she should have had us go live on a mountain with the monks.

uh huh.

And you know how I know that things are all patched up? My phone started ringing this morning at 9am. 10am. 11am. I WISH there were a way to post voice mails. Here's a sample..

9am. HI HONEY! It's mom! CALL me at home at (555)888-8888. okay. that's all. I'll be at home. CALL ME!
(she tells me her phone number EVERY TIME. The phone number we've had since I was a child)(WITH area code nonetheless)

10am. {my full name} IT'S YOU MOTHER!! I've been calling you ALL MORNING. Why can't you call me back. I need to TELL YOU SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT. CALL ME AT HOME. (555)888-8888

11am. You know, I'm really sick of calling you. I've been calling for a couple of days now. I don't appreciate you not calling back. If you can't talk just call me and TELL me you can't talk and that you'll call me later and that will be fine! (yah RIGHT!) But not calling for days makes me worried about you and IT'S RUDE! CALL. ME. AT. (555)888-8888.

CALGON! Take me away! (you might have to be in your late thirties to know that reference)

Oh, and you know what the "important" thing was? Asking me to call my niece (she's not speaking to my ungrateful brat brother either) so I can see if she would like an Asian 'American Girl' doll because "well, she lives in the country in Utah, I just don't know if she'd like an asian doll!

My brother is SO LUCKY she's not speaking to him. sigh.

16 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I don't think I will ever say this again, but I don't want to trade moms with you.

Jillybean said...

I'm trying to understand the whole "living in Utah and not wanting an Asian doll" thing.
If your niece doesn't want want it, my daughter would love to have one.

Tracie said...

No wonder you have dogs instead of kids.

Carin said...

Ellie will be writing this in a few years!

Kelli said...

Ahhh, parents. Can't live with them, can't kill them for fear of being arrested.
My mom is currently 0 for 3 with her kids. None of us are speaking to her.

peewee said...

Jillybean-that was my mom being her normal lame clueless self. She thinks that because Huntsville is so sheltered and "white" and hillybilly that my niece would maybe not want an asian doll! It's laughable. My niece would fall over dead to get an ANY American Girl Doll, even one that had one eye, was bald, and weighed 300 lbs.

peewee said...

I just realized my last comment sounded bad. Asian dolls are NOT comparable to one eyed fat bald dolls.

I feel like one of those idiots, who, when debating gay marriage says "Sure, first we let the gays marry...then what? We just condone Axe Murderers and child molesters too?"

Kris said...

How could you let your mom call you FOR DAYS and not have the decency to call her back?!!? Sheesh! Kids these days.....

Tracie totally got it right!

Winkinatcha said...

What a totally brill random blog find...

Nice

Thankyou.

;)

2busy said...

Ah, mothers. You can't live with them, you can't live without them. Ya know?

peewee said...

I know 2busy, it's like nature's true first dysfunctional relationship!

Lin said...

Oh, I've got one of those! Sometimes it's just easier to have her mad at me. Nobody else understands that, but now I see you do. Ugh.

Let's just hope we don't turn out just like them. :)

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Wow. She is MY mother too. I didn't know there was more than one. Fear for our nation my dear, fear for our nation...

erin0703 said...

At least this one can't be blamed on Darrin.

Elly Lou said...

Shit, there's an inheritance involved? Time for me to start stepping to your moms.

Meg said...

I am SO happy my mom doesn't do this. So happy.