Wednesday, May 05, 2010

A brush with the grim reaper, in the Keebler aisle.

I had a near death experience....at TARGET!

A woman ran around with a butcher knife and a carving knife and randomly stabbed people!!

I guess she was as upset as I was that they were out of Liberty of London large tumblers too. I totally get it. I couldn't help but wonder if she grabbed the knives at Target or brought her own. Then I thought OH MAN! I hope this doesn't mean Target and all other stores will start storing knives behind the counter along with all the cough syrups and allergy meds. SO ANNOYING! Why does one person have to ruin it for the rest of us?!?!

WELL. I was ON MY WAY to that very target on monday. AND I was delayed because I was being lazy. Then it was all crowded and cops were everywhere so I just went to another target figuring they were filming a cop show or sumthin'.

I COULD HAVE BEEN STABBED!!! Whew! Laziness saved my life!!

That's what happens when you live on the mean streets of West Hollywood! Angry lesbians run amok!

13 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Hey, it ain't called Target for no reason. That's what you would have ended up as.

seriously? said...

WOW...a close call to say the least. I had a near death experience when I was stung by a bee on Monday while at Boot Camp. Now, I am not allergic to bees but it stung me in the wrist and could have easily severed a main artery. Life is too precious and it makes me remember that angry lesbians or bees can't get me down!!!

Melanie J said...

Oh man, I can't even tell you how many times laziness has saved my life, too. I bet I've been saved from like, 17 car accidents because I stayed on the sofa instead of going grocery shopping.

NIKOL said...

Is it sad that I was disappointed there wasn't more of a discussion about the Keebler aisle specifically? I don't care what anyone says, those elves know what they're doing.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

I have always considered laziness to be my greatest virtue. This story serves to prove this theory correct.

rychelle said...

i thought shit like that only happened at walmart. crazy.

Kris said...

I heard the best remedy for PTSD is a healthy dose of Keebler cookies. But for pete's sake, don't go to the store to buy them! Order them from Amazon or Vons.com and have them DELIVERED to you. Yet another way that laziness will save your life.

Lin said...

Isn't that scary that we live in a society where a random person could take our lives when we are just shopping for toilet paper or tampons?? Criminy that is scary. Glad you are okay and not stabbed.

Counselormama said...

Ugh, I wonder if she was not happy with their return policy?

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

NO, no, I refuse to believe it. It must have been a former walmart shopper. For sure.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

She must've really had a bad day. Good thing you were feeling a bit on the lazy side.

Karen said...

This story would have been cooler if you had been the one to take the bitch down!

Just kidding! It's pretty crazy that you were on your way to that very store that very day! What are the odds??

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

I must admit that if I saw a bunch of people and cops at a store, I would probably not assume that they were filming a TV show. Probably because I don't live in LA. But I still find it amusing. Obviously, I'm easily amused. ;o)