Saturday, May 29, 2010

Does Bose even MAKE a noise canceling product for this?

This is my Teen money suck slave. Back when she was the most adorable thing EVER.

RIght now she's passed out reeking of a vodka/tequila/rum combo from last night. Nice. I tried to count how many times I said last night..."When I was your age....."

It's just tragedy all around. Teens SUCK. Their mere existence reminds you how very old you are! And then THEIR MOUTHS remind you also. Here are some choice tidbits...

HER: You have to talk to my sister about the way she dresses! I mean she wears this crazy OLD LADY shit, and I'm all 'YOU'RE TWENTY, Not FOR-- {PAUSE} EIGHTY!

HER: My friends got this pit bull and named it BECKY! HAHAHAHH! I was dying laughing.

ME: WHY? What's wrong with Becky?

HER: UH....because a 'Becky' is a BLOWJOB!

SINCE WHEN?!?!?!??

HER: I don't even think you can call it sex if you don't even bust a nut.


HER: {she repeats louder b/c she thinks I didn't hear her b/c I am old} BUST A NUT.

ME: WHAT?!?!?!??!?

HER: ORGASM! Stupid!

OH! To hear these things out of this adorable mouth. I think I seriously need to buy some earplugs to survive this endeavor in my life. THANK GOD Mick can't talk.


forever folding laundry said...

OK, teenagers scare me as it is, but you are taking it to a whole new level. My children are now officially NEVER allowed to grow up.


Lucky St. Angelo said...

dude, you are like: totes. old.

Kristina P. said...

I am shocked you are shocked. Rychelle and I will be eating a scone in your honor tomorrow.

peewee said...

I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON THAT SCONE! (with butter sauce)

Melanie J said...

So glad I don't eighth grade any more. So glad.

Lin said...

Don't you hate it when they have to explain the new lingo to you?? Sigh.

Kris said...

Now I feel sorry for all the Beckys in the world. Who knew?

rychelle said...

i still don't understand what's going on around here.

(that scone was delicious)