Sunday, June 13, 2010

Black Cars are the New Binky

I spent all day yesterday getting Tslave (that's her new LA rapper name) a car. I didn't mean to. I went to get MY car washed at the dealership and one thing lead to another and also I'm "ridin' the crimson wave" and hadn't had enough coffee and poof!


I am EXACTLY the target for whom car salesmen hold weekend seminars at the airport econo-lodge. The quintessential female "suckah."

There are so very MANY levels about this purchase that were wrong, not the least of which is the mere fact that Tslave still hasn't even passed her CA driver's test! I didn't mention that as I was signing the paperwork.

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(The upside: SHe can take HERSELF to the DMV to pass that test!)

All I can say in my defense is that I was under the duress of a month of listening to "P*ssy" lyrics in MY car.

I have a feeling I would be the type of parent that gave her kids lollipops to just shut them up.

15 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Will you please adopt me?

forever folding laundry said...

That was going to be my *exact* comment, KP.

~Keri

Carin said...

It started at age two...with Nordstrom shopping trips...clothes and rice crispy treats. A Lexus is OBVIOUSLY the next step.

Lin said...

I'm with Kristina--Can I come live with you?? Hell, I'd even do chores for a car!

Meg said...

Is that a Lexus? If it is, I could be your Thirty-Something Slave if you want.

peewee said...

oh! You guys are too funny. Did you forget who I am?? I now have something VERY big to lord over her at every second. Ahhhh. parenthood is grand!

Also she has chauffered me around all day. Next up? Massage school for her....mamma's feet need a rub!

abalone said...

wow!!! can't wait for father's day this sunday!!!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Adopt me too? I've been itching for a Pathfinder. Now? Doesn't she look happy though?

Kris said...

You REALLY hate the DMV, don't you?

NIKOL said...

And Teen Slave #2 will be joining you soon. Then you'll have the whole sibling rivalry thing to deal with. Before you know it, they'll BOTH be driving new cars.

I think that's what the Founding Fathers wanted for everyone: life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and a Lexus for every slave. It's a hidden clause in the Declaration. True story.

The Empress said...

I LOVE your blog. I should've know when I saw on your profile how much you loved the same books I did...A girl named Zippy. How adorable was that?

Thanks for stopping over at Diary's. I'm following you now.

theprincessblogger.com said...

I used to do anything to shut my kid up. Lollipops and endless episodes of Barney were cheap back then. Now, like Tslave, he wants stuff that cost big bucks...I just stay far away from the car dealerships.

bernthis said...

next time you are going to the car wash, please call me as I love my car but I could always do with a back up

dede said...

I think you did give her lollipops to shut her up back in the day - think I even have a picture of it - you have WAY passed that type of mom - I AM THAT TYPE OF MOM (meaning a "trip to the gas station" bribe can get about anything done around here - and we don't even buy gas on those trips, let alone a new car!!)

btw - loved your dads comment :)

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

I'm totally judging your parenting skills right now. Of course, I have been known, on occasion, to give a certain child her binky in order to stop the whining. A person can only take so much. If you're looking to take in a 30-something mother of two for your next car giveaway, I'm available. I just realized....you're like Oprah! You've already got the reality show thing going on so you might as well make the most of it. ;o)