Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The big QUAKE...

Okay, tragedy struck yesterday. ALL of my afternoon shows were pre-empted!

No Judge Judy, No people's Court, No Dr.Phil/Oprah/Ellen!

ALL because of "earthquake" reports, pie charts, size-mo-graphs (spelling? no?) and interviews. They even interviewed "governor" schwartzenager. Who was in uh, SACRAMENTO. In fact, it's STILL BEING COVERED.

But you know, I guess there WAS mass destruction. One asian liquor store owner was saying how she had to cover her head because the bottles might fall down on her. Then she SHOWED us how exactly she covered her head with her arms. But LUCKILY, pheeeee-ew, no mini-bottles fell on her. but ALMOST.

And then there was the guy who's pottery store was damaged. Lots of his pottery fell on the floor. Yet, it was a really dumpy old ass pottery store, so one has to question whether he went in AFTER the quake and tipped all the shelves over and was all "Man, all my pottery is gone! Good thing I have insurance!" And then 3 months later he'll be running his new starbucks chain.

And then there was the USC football player dude interviewed on campus with his backpack, all "yah, man, I was walking over there (points to grass) on the grass, and I was getting up to go to class and was all, 'whoa! I think there's an earthquake!' and then I just stayed put man. (shakes his head) it was kinda scary." Wonder when his FEMA check is arriving?

There were SO. MANY. MORE. interviews like that. ALL.DAY.LONG. Even today. People talk excitedly, out of breath, with a look of HUGE relief on their face that they were lucky enough, bless Jesus, Mohammed and The Holy Ghost, to even be ALIVE today.

And then! After ruining my TV day, I get to work and everyone was all "where were YOU when IT happened?"

And I was all "OMIGOD, I was sitting on my couch and opened my computer and was DEVASTATED! I practically FELL OVER! Then I just cried and cried when IT happened. I knew my life was going to change dramatically, and I felt like my heart was going to rip out of my chest." But I will go one. LIFE will go on. Maybe. I am still in shock."


dede said...

wow - I am glad your ok, babe!

Annie Miller said...

You seem like you would be pretty nice to have around in a crisis. You would just slap all of us hystericalites back into the real world. Remind me to duck if I next to you when the "Big One" hits. Have I told you lately I love your blog?

Ashley Pittman said...

yeah, this was hysterical. i laughed so hard. my phone rang incessantly after the big quake of '08...but the VERY first person to call was the insurance adjuster in texas making sure my mom's house was ok. now that's love.