Wednesday, July 09, 2008

A Guy walks into a bar with a duck....

...and other funny things that happened when I was in Tahoe this week.

1. I sent a text message to one of my yoga clients that I wouldn't be in town for his session and this was his reply "Hey baby girl! Don't worry about it. Have fun in Tahoe! See you next week! Uh. Baby girl? BABY GIRL???? Who IS this guy? Where did THAT come from? I don't even wanna know.

2. Blockbuster called to tell me that I hadn't returned "Mad Money" yet and if I didn't I would be charged the value of it blah blah...This was on saturday as I was driving to tahoe. It was still in my trunk. And today what showed up on my checking acct. was "$117 BLOCKBUSTER.... Excuse me, but ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN DOLLARS? FOR MAD MONEY? And even though I know the money will be refunded once I return it (I go through this every time, really) I was still outraged that they had the nerve to even pretend that mad money is worth $117. Now THAT? (unlike the movie) is FUNNY!
**though, really, it's one of those movies that is dumb, but also you kinda like it, but is still SO dumb, so you can't actually say you liked it, even though you kinda did.

3. I was waiting in line for the bathroom at a restaurant and an old lady next to me says "you been workin' out?" and I was all wow! it shows! all my hard work has PAID off and I have SO MUCH MUSCLE that strangers notice!!!(even strangers who can barely see!) And as my head was swelling with pride and also puzzled that it was THAT noticeable, I said with false humility "oh, umm, well, yah, a little here and there" and then she looked at my shirt and I looked down and realized it was all wet from spilling my water down my front, and what she was REFERRING to in her little old lady "humor" was that I was "sweaty" from working out. Like she thought she was making a little joke. Yah REAL FUNNY GRANDMA.

4. Different bathroom in a super nice quiet restaurant in a private members only resort lodge in the mountains. All the stalls were these giant wood doors and they were all closed. They were like little toilet log cabins. And I went to push open a door and there was someone in it. "oops. sorry" I said as I shut the door. and then I hear "HEY! GEEEZ. HEY! GEEZ. WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING! GEEZ! YOU THINK YOU'D KNOCK FIRST! GEEZ! SOME PEOPLE! GEEZ!" and I was like 'I SAID I was sorry. I OBVIOUSLY didn't know you were in there" and then "GEEZ! WELL THE DOOR WAS CLOSED! AND YOU JUST BANGED MY HEAD AND REALLY HURT ME AND THE DOOR WAS CLOSED! GEEZ! WHAT DID YOU THINK! SOME PEOPLE!!" and I was all " ALL the doors are closed. Why don't you try locking it? and then "YOU HURT MY HEAD! YOU BANGED ME IN THE HEAD! I WAS IN HERE! GEEZ! SOME PEOPLE" (she was actually still in there) and I finally just shut up. there was nothing more to say really, and I was lost in the "why" was her head so close to the door?? I'm still standing there because now I'm terrified that they're all filled or something when in fact they were all empty and she comes out, and she's like old and maybe even drunk I realize, and I am waiting for some big confrontation and she says "There's no toilet paper in that stall, by the way." and washes her hands, pats her white hair, and leaves. oookkkkayyyyeeeee.

I guess it's not just YOGA people I hate.


Annie Miller said...

Oh's always a joy to ready your blog! Um, the other day I had three late videos to Blockbuster. Can't imagine 3 xs $117! Sounds like the lady in the bathroom stall needs to slow down on the crazy pills! Glad it was you and not me. I never know what to say in those situations. Always think of great stuff after the fact though--when it's useless!

Carin said...

Danny says your blog is his favorite-
don't tell Dede and Annie!

I am going to pester you again to write a book...
Have you written one and you are just not telling me????

whore said...

time for a new post!