DIARY OF AN INAUGURATION

TUESDAY JAN 20 7:15AM
Started nasty gym workout. with weights. why we have to exercise? exercise is sucky. Not going to be type to always talk about gym torture. Will have rice krispie treats when get home. mmmmm....rice krispie treats.

8:15AM
done with weights and abs. read in A-list diet book that cardio expected. 20-45 mins. will do 20. includes stairs to get to cardio equipment. so will do 15 on machine.

8:20AM
see? did take 5 mins up elevator stairs to get there. Headphones on. Hannah Montana on.
uh-oh.
inauguration also on. Thought was on at noon? oh yah. am in california. am trying to be better citizen. voted and everything. planned to watch inauguration at home on nice fluffy couch with rice krispie treats made night before for special event! not planned to watch on exercise machine. But his girls so cute in super cute coats! inspire me so can have super cute coat as treat for working out so hard. plug headphones into machine so can hear.

8:25AM
guy gets on next to me. hot. this not so bad.

8:40AM
realize Obama not coming on until 9. only 8:45. If leave now, will not be home in time. if stay on machine, will die by 9. wondering if will be on repeat later? why not tivo'd? WHY?????
can do this. can totally do this. is historical event. must not miss.

8:50AM
announcer says running 10 mins late. Am crying. announcer says aretha franklin to sing and blah blah warren to preach. AHHHH. Know will be winded. Aretha sing so slowwwwwwwww and add verses. slooowwwwww verses. Preacher surprisingly quick for preacher. guy next to me jumps off and does many push-ups and jumps back on. NOT hot. annoying.

9:00AM
FInally swear in Vice Pres. Announcer announce yo yo ma. yo yo ma not so good on headphones. not easy on ears if u ask me. Stop working on machine because need break. Just want to stand here and watch. as soon as stopped, volume stops. EVIL! PURE EVIL! Guy next to me still jumping down to do pushups. HATE. HATRED.

9:10AM
Finally (FINALLY!) swear in obama. would get tears in eyes except all sweated out. was quick swearing in! yay! time to get off.

9:10 and 30 seconds AM
Obama to give speech. knew it. was just hoping not. how long? never watched inauguration. don't know. question how important speech is. very. must be able to understand when people talk about at parties so not feel stupid. pray for Obama to keep it quick. Gym trainers gather round to watch too. Push-up guy watching to. but then jumps off AGAIN for push-ups. have some RESPECT guy! geez! some people!

9:16AM
Speech good but can hardly hear because joints screaming. Been almost hour! Body not prepared for this.

9:20AM
Been whole hour. Obama still talking, but heard enough to join in at parties. must get off. must go home. or will implode into joints.

9:25AM
ahhhhhhh. car seat good. Turn on car. Obama speech comes on radio. could have listened to on radio whole time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11:05AM
home. couch. rice krispie treats. can eat many since worked out so much. double, even.
stupid inauguration IS on repeat.
can't walk or move legs.
can say I watch news now.
did part as citizen. did MORE than part of citizen! can go back to acting superior to everyone b/c sacrificed so much for country. Can now say stuff like "YOU DIDN'T SEE THE INAUGURATION?" while frowning in pity and piety. was worth it.