I very rarely protest anything.
Well, all right, I do protest the hippies, Paris Hilton, and Apple on a regular basis.
But NOW! Now, I have to voice my well-fought-for women's liberation! (Thanks Rosie the Riveter!)(You crazy little lesbian, you!) I must put my foot down on the atrocity that is...
Home depot. Satan's home on earth.
There is not a store I detest MORE. Not even LAMPS PLUS (which I really hate too...do ALL the lamps NEED to be on? At the same time? In the ENTIRE store?) Not even Whole Foods. (I have a love/hate with WF. HATE the people. Love the pretty pretty aisles. HATE the hypocrisy...Organic "california medley" vegetables....from China??)
Wait. Where was I?
Oh yah. I have to go to Hell Depot to buy paint today. These are the times I say to myself "WHY? WHY did you squander your youth on work and travel because THIS IS WHY YOU NEED A HUSBAND/LESBIAN LOVER!"
Just typing about this makes me wanna cry. Walking in there makes me feel like a Whore in church. Like I am being judged by the smug tool people "you're not HANDY enough to be in here"
I can avoid this place MOST of the time because I can usually find whatever man-tool-type-thing at target. And Target....ah....now THAT's a store who has a Woman's needs in mind. Their tools and what not are way more girly. I once bought a "tool kit" from there. It was SO CUTE. And all the tools were kinda mini-tools. In the cutest little plastic case. And I was SO proud when, for the first time, a guy friend was trying to fix something and said "do you have a screwdriver" and I excitedly and proudly sad YES! YES I DO!!" and ran to get it. When I handed it over, he did a double take and laughed and said "THIS? is a screwdriver?? No, I mean a REAL screwdriver." whatever.
K, where was I?
Oh yah. The belly of the beast. I mean, it would take SO LITTLE to make this place desirable. A candy Aisle? A Hello Kitty tool center? A magazine rack at the front. With US weekly, NOT Man & Hammer or whatever.
You know what? I can't even finish this post. I am too stressed. Any man-girls out there who wanna go for me?
.jpg)
15 comments:
I have seen a pink hammer in there once.
YOu just need to man up!
Afterwards, you should definitely treat yourself to a mani/pedi or a new lip gloss to restore your estrogen levels.
You just need to act as if you know what you are doing, and the people there will fall in line!
I had to go to Home Depot last weekend to buy stuff from the garden section. They can even make you feel stupid buying something as simple as a watering can. I, unfortunately, also needed a bag of rock salt for our water softener. They keep said rock salt outside the store for some reason. I must have asked 9 different people where it was before I got a straight answer. Even then it was a big fat hassle to get it because I had to pay for it inside, and the checker had no idea what I was talking about. Then I couldn't find the salt outside the exit where they said, and the people working out there all looked at me like I was crazy.
I vastly prefer shopping at Lowe's. Same stuff, nicer people. And it's prettier in there, too.
Incidentally, I share your loathing for Lamps Plus.
Hey Counselor,
If I were that good an actress, I would win an oscar for the kind of performance it would take for ME to act like I know what I'm doing in a home depot!
a hello kitty tool center would be the coolest thing on the earth. the coolest thing in the whole galaxy, probably.
RIGHT??!?!? How am I NOT a millionaire yet?
I would totally go to Home Depot for you. I love that place!
Now, REI? That's a different story. I am so completely and totally urban that I wait for someone in a green vest to point at me and shreik, "GET OUT!!! YOU DON'T BELONG HERE!!!!"
Lowes is better. Less offensive orange and they give a poo about decor and such. Home Depot is too butch for me.
when I was at home depot with Chase last week, the only thing in the whole store that he spotted was a pink princess shovel and knee rest and he threw a BIG fit cause I wouldn't let him have it - so, HD can be for everyone, you just have to keep your eyes open :)
Uh, I don't think a Hello Kitty hammer is gonna work really well for you--unless that is your point. But you would look good using it! I don't like Home Depot either--it's way too overwhelming and there just isn't enough money for all of the projects I would like to do.
Hey, thanks for the well wishes for my kitty. He's okay, but not great yet. Your kind words helped a ton though, thanks!
no, i can't take those stores either. Especially after our remodeling project. just passing them makes me vomit.
We don't have a Home Depot. We have Lowe's and their customer service is worse than Wal Mart and McDonalds put together. Hate it.
Oh, and every time I go there I run into our contractor/carpenter and I end up blabbing to him about some problem that my husband won't fix. Then he gets another job at my house and I'm out a couple thousand dollars.
Walmart has paint, but you might be too classy to shop at Walmart.
I am WAY NOT too classy for Walmart. I would live there if I could. But sadly. There is not a single walmart anywhere in or even NEAR LA :(
Post a Comment