Friday, January 04, 2008

lord of the dogs...

it's getting touchy in here. The dogs may maul me alive. I keep giving them treats, but they are bored, and I may become their new chew toy.

it's getting desperate. NOT ONLY have I been home alllllll day for a week now, but it;s also raining and so I am less inclined to take them out for more than 2 seconds. I've also been, ummm, TALKING to them. not in the usual "come" "sit" and "treats?" normal dog speak, but more like... "maggie. Do you want to have some dinner now? are you hungry? or shall we wait until six? would you rather just have a snacky poo?" or "Mick, why do you HAVE to rip all the lights off the christmas tree (oh, and THAT is still up too!) and wrap the lights around the coffee table and drag it around the house? why mick? do i NOT spent hundreds of dollars on treats and chewie toys and bones? do I not? WHY don't you see how good you have it and be a nice puppy? dont you KNOW how sick I am??" yah. I went there.

not only THAT, but there seems to be no end in sight. I am officially a agoraphobic? what's the one where you can't leave your house? who knows. who cares.

I have expired law & order SVU and Criminal intent. I have started watching RERUNS of People's Court. My only entertainment is online sites like Facebook and Citibank and Ebay. yah, citibank. I keep checking to see the balance, like my Grandma Nita would check for her purse 52 times during a restaurant meal. I am but a Rascal and a Kraftmatic Adjustable bed away from applying for my AARP card.

Well, my fever is down anyway. I guess that's good. Jake (personal trainer) is skeptical of all this. He's being polite and sweet, but I can hear it in his voice that he think I'm one big faker.

I have to go feed the mongrels now. Well, maybe I'll ask them first.

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