Sunday, December 16, 2007

What? i hadn't had coffee yet!

Today the LARGE dog area of the dog park was closed, and we were the first people/dogs there of course, and so we had to go to the SMALL dog area. Then this annoying woman comes with her chihuahua and some other small moppy dog and she looks at us, looks at the SMALL DOG AREA sign, looks at us, etc. She makes a HUGE production of this hoping I'll get her point.

So OF COURSE I say to her "the large dog run is closed, so we have to all be in here"

not at all.

I kept quiet. My mean self wanted to see her work herself up into a frenzy at which point I would then passive aggressively say it in my sweetest kindest voice.

She comes in and yells "Isn't this the SMALL DOG area?"

I turn around, smile big and say..."YES! it is. You can come in"

She now wants to kill me.

Then she steps closer, clutching her now wildly yapping chihuahua acting like Mick, Maggie and hobbling Beck are a pack of wild pitbulls.

Happily for me, they were being perfect and ignoring her stupid dogs.

She says "Isn't the LARGE dog area over there?"

So I say Smiling, ignoring "oh my gosh! your dogs are SO cute" ( a beat) oh and yah...the large dog area IS over there" as if I were giving her helpful information. smile smile. throw ball, ignore.

She is completely annoyed with me now, especially since she can't be a total bitch because I said her dogs were cute.

Her chihuahua is now going crazy and mick goes over with his puppy self to play. So her dog barks even more. She's still clutching it and the other little dog is being cute playing with mick.

So she then starts talking LOUDLY to her yappy dog."ohhhhh, it's okay nicky...I would be SCARED TOO if I just weighed 5 little pounds and there was a BIG GIANT dog around me!"

I chuckle amicably and say "Yah...Mick just LOVES all dogs, especially the ones who don't like him. The meaner they are the more he tries to get their attention."

She then talks to her dog again "ohhhh, you're not mean, you just like to run around with DOGS YOUR SIZE, don't you nicky. You're just a LITTLE guy who is 1/8 the size of these BIG DOGGIES and you just want to play, but these dogs are just TOO BIG aren't they Nicky?"

I was so thoroughly entertained. I just smiled a big dumb smile and continued to throw their ball. She left pretty fast, and after she walked out the gate she spent a good 10 minutes looking at the SMALL DOG AREA sign, looking at us, etc. So naturally, I waved and said "Have a good morning!!"


doradrama said...

Oh, you are good.

Whore said...

Your mother has taught you well!