TGIF?...uh, no.

I'm not going to discuss Tunde anymore because I just get anxious and depressed. Although I will say that I have him for my "second" session that he coerced me into. AND he did that by the way, at the END of my session, when I my defenses were down. "Judge Judy, I WAS UNDER DURESS!!"

ho hum. I'm only writing this right now because otherwise I look at the clock every 5 minutes, going "Okay. 4 more hours and 10 minutes till I have to go tunde....Okay, 4 more hours and 5 minutes..." and so on.

I woke up at like 4 am and had one of those moments where you go over really random stuff. It starts off innocently enough and then somehow works it's way into a panic attack and then you can't get back to sleep. Mine went like this

"I'm awake. Damn. Why isn't Ambien working tonight? did I take it too early? Should I tell My shrink to give me a higher dose? Then I'd have to spend another $200. sigh. God, I have spent SO MUCH MONEY on my shrink. Also I am now spending money on Tunde. Geez, how much AM I spending now? like per month? Lets see, $800 Shrinky, NOW $800 Tunde, And $400 Lucy (maid) and Coffee...no don't go there. let's seeee, that's 2,000!! on services!! OMG! That's A HOUSE PAYMENT! Not to mention all my other bills! car payment! Utilities! GAS!! DOGFOOD is $150 right there!! DOG TREATS!! I don't even WANT to know how much I spend in treats. WHy do I have DOGS?? No wonder I can't afford a BABY! Maybe I'll NEVER be able to afford a baby! I need to get married just to split this stuff. And also, I could go to PARIS every MONTH for what I'm spending ON MYSELF!!! I mean I COULD HAVE HAD A HOUSE! a whole HOUSE! AHHHHHHHHH....Okay, kk, take a breath. If I had a house instead then I would just be sitting in my DIRTY house, and I'd still be CRAZY and FAT. Okay, okay, so its GOOD that's I'm spending all this. right? RIGHT? At least I have a new car. ahhh...my car....all is well....yawn.

OMG. 3 hours and 55 minutes....