Saturday, July 22, 2006

gardeners...people HIRED to garden, the way GOD meant it to be.

Gardeners are THE BEST.

Everyone should have one.

or 5.

And I just have to take a moment to say, that while living in LA has been challenging, I do LOVE that no one here does their own lawn. That would be weird. I have NEVER seen anyone mowing their lawn here. My Gay-bors across the street attempted their own little flower patch to compete with my lush arboretum, but I laughed at their pitiful effort, called it "cute."

And I especially love that I can leave for coffee on sat morning and return to a whole new yard. It's like, to me, flowers just arrive. I never water them b/c my gardeners set up little tiny hoses into all the potted plants, and my sprinklers are set, by them, on automatic. When things die they sweep them away and plant new. Why just this morning I came home to all new little red looking flowers around my lemon tree. SO adorable. AND they are so fast, in 'n out in a half hour. like elves. only they're mexican (my peeps) and there's an entire entourage, at least 5. And they all arive in a white van, pile out, do the job lickety-split and, voila! They're gone. They don't YELL at me for being white/mexican trash. They don't knock on my door and try to TELL me how to care for these things called, plants. It's like I have my own personal fairy tale.

But my POINT is I am ruined for life. (clearly!) Me and plants/flowers don't mix so well in the "do it yourself" department. Home depot is a BIG mystery to me. Why anyone goes there is so confusing I can't even blog about it. the last time I was in there was when my friend JOE took me to buy a space heater, and we got into a HUGE fight inside.It was the stress of being in there that pushed me over the edge.

My dad tried to instill some lawn mowing to my brother early on (HE lived in NORTHERN ca...a different planet really) and I clearly remember the confusion on his 12 yr old face when he said to my dad "hey dad. why you mowing the lawn? that's what gardeners do!" And I chimed in "yah! Where's yours? is he sick?" My dad was red in the face, trying to start his "GODDAMN lawnmower!" and he stopped, looked at my brother with rage and through clenched teeth said "YOU WILL MOW THE ENTIRE LAWN TODAY AND I WILL TEACH YOU HOW AND YOU WILL NOT COME IN UNTIL YOU ARE DONE WITH THE FRONT AND BACK! IF YOUR MOTHER WASN'T SPENDING ALL MY MONEY ON A GARDENER THEN YOU WOULD ALREADY KNOW HOW TO DO THIS! GARDENER'S ARE THE LAZY MAN'S WAY! YOUR MOM SHOULD MOW HER OWN GRASS"

ooops.

I creeped away, thanking Jesus I was a girl and would NEVER be asked to do that and feeling SO BAD for my brother. But then again, served him right for having such a big mouth! Where WAS my dad's gardener anyway? And if having a gardener is a lazy man's way then guess I knew where I was headed!

Funny how our futures are etched in so young, soo so young.

2 comments:

Granny~Van said...

FREEBIE GARDENERS: Hey, remember when YOU did a flip on the diving board "for the gardeners" and we ended up with ALL of the gardeners for the whole city of San Gabriel in our backyard? Yeah, you'd better add that one to your list of "how to get LA discounts." They were working feverishly throughout the backyard, what a bargain!HEHEHE

peewee said...

heheheheheeee...I forgot about that for a sec...that's an R rated bog! leave it to YOU to bring it up!!!