Sunday, July 23, 2006

sunday, brady, sunday

It is yet another crazy hot day in LA. All my Santa monica classes were cancelled because the power is out. Yetserday was 115 dees-grees in Pasadena. Today is MUCH cooler, in at 104. SO I have all this free time on my hands, free time to get some writing work done. BUT there happens to also be a BRADY BUNCH marathon on this weekend....48 hours worth of brady. SO I have had it on non-stop, for company.

It strikes me watching it now, how much I have wanted THAT life. I watched them religiously as a kid. But I hadn't realized how much had seeped into my subconscious (see, I pay all this money for a shrink and drugs, and it all boils down to the BRADY syndrome. I have BRA.D.D.) ALL the men I go for look like Mike. WHo wouldn't want Mike Brady as a Husband. He was perfect! WHich is WHY us GEN-X-ers are so fucked up. We all want mike Brady...he treated Carol well, loved ALL the kids, knew how to have a good time, and was VERY fashionable, brought home the bacon...etc. AND he was gay. Thus, the explanation of the abundance of fag hags...we all just wanna be Carol.

Is it too much to ask that I just want a perfect house, lots of kids (but NO babies, OR childbirth...those Brady's just arrived, like my flowers) and a funny housekeeper? Even to THIS day the quirky things, lessons, if you will, make SENSE to me. Like when Carol says to Marsha "honey...you don't have to pretend to be like those other girls to fit in. Just BE YOURSELF, and you WILL be popular!"

I AGREE! I wanna say stupid stuff like that to my daughter while wearing my size 2 shift dress with a butterfly collar. I wanna run my household, the way Carol does...by letting ALICE do it. I want a gay husband who dresses cute to pay all the bills AND feed the dog. My friend's blog says to imagine SPECIFICALLY what you want and it will manifest. WELL little miss holistic, I HAVE been imagining that for YEARS! where is MY sherman oaks house? They didn't even NEED starbucks...Alice percolated their coffee FOR THEM.

K, clearly I need a Brady Intervention.

wait, speaking of strarbucks, I haven't had any yet. Better go. But the episode where Jan refuses to go to the square dance is on. She wants to be an only child. Oh Jan, you have it SO good. SO SO good.

2 comments:

Granny~Van said...

Sista, I'm feelin' your pain on this one. I too must admit to adoring Mike and wishing I could be Carol coming home from an afternoon of shopping and NOT having to make dinner. And, where, please tell me, where do they BOX your purchases and seal them with fashionable bows? And, where in the heck is my Alice?! She not only cleaned, she cooked, she nursed, she played, and do you remember her taking more than TWO vacations? Yeah, the Brady show definitely warped my sense of family. Thanks Mike and Carol!

Anonymous said...

See the problem is, and I know because I do this repeatedly, it's not imagining, it's believing. No, it's not enough to just visualize Alice making your coffee, you have to believe you are really able to forget Bobby at home while the whole family frolics for the day. It's not just enough to pretend to have a happy marriage, you have to KNOW that you will never have sex w/ Mike b/c Mike thinks girls are pukey.
Btw, you're so frickin' funny. Really.