Sunday, March 22, 2009

Products I wish I invented

There's a blog that i LOVE called "The Letters I wish I'd Written" It's REALLY well written and funny and all around GREAT. (I'm sure Kristina has been reading it since Kindergarten)

SO this is hereby my rip-off version...

FIrst off, where can I get this?? where????? And HOW have I not thought of it before? Okay well, you know what else?? I WOULD invent BaconAvocadonaise. TAKE that stupid plain ole baconaise!

HA! HAHAHHA! The Reester Bunny...kills me. Well, whatever I WOULDA done the HerSHeep bar. A cute litte sheep shaped chocolate bar with a polka dot bow! And the ad would be all "little bo peep has lost hersheep!" HA! Double HA!

The Ramen Cooler! LOVE. Pure Love. But AS I was making pudding today, the real homemade cooking kind, with the spoon on the box, I had to stand there and stir and stir. Honestly, my arm was for real sore and I was thinking...GEEZ! Why don't they make a pudding stirring machine? WHY???

Corn beer? No...I actually don't wish I'd invented THIS...BUT...along those lines...can you make beer from chocodiles or what? cuz THAT is my kinda alcohol!

Tee Hee...Bimbo Snack!! I woulda done the skank muffin. Or the Chex Mix:Nuts & Whores.

I mean...this is cute and all...But how 'bout the Mugberry...or the imug...THAT's a product that would NEVER leave my hands. And while we're at it, let's just add a garage opener button to that there mug.

uh. umm. no comment. (though does give a whole new meaning to yeast infection, eh?) (yah. I totally WENT there)

TOTALLY cool! 14 bucks a bag! But i'd like to see some polka dots and Burberry plaid please. That's what I would do. And maybe a mosaic mostaccioli too. Houndstooth ravioli? Yah. I think I see a pasta company in my future.

This is nice. I love that it's ORGANIC spray batter. My invention? Spray cookie dough!!!!! ooohhhhh yyyahhhhhhh.

The choculator!! Brilliant. But I'd want an entire laptop, perhaps in the shape of a Toblerone?

HAHA! The LazyGeek! But where's the cupholder, remote caddy and snack tray?

YES!! YES! Again, though, I'd go for a roll on mayo, or a nutella stick would be nice too.

CLEARLY I'm wasting my talents on ungrateful bratty yoga students!


Kristina P. said...

I hadn't even heard of that blog, so thanks for introducing it to me!!!

And I love your yeast infection comment. Because it was gross.

dede said...

I am totally making my kids a Ramen Cooler!! (not only will they think I am the best cook - I will also be the coolest mom!)
and they do make a pudding stirring machine - its called a kitchen aid!

peewee said... has to COOK. And you have to stir AS IT COOKS. My kitchen aid doesn't heat! (does it?)

Kathy B! said...

This is me dumbfounded, except for an occasional snort, and a tiny bit of diet coke that I may or may not have spit onto the computer screen (btw, you can stop by and clean that up for me on the way to NY. If you're going to make me LOL in the early AM when I don't have it togehter yet then I expect a WARNING).

Where do you find this stuff?! I'd love to see the history of yout google searches :)

Jillybean said...

All fabulous inventions!

Except for that chocolate calculator. I would be all like "I need to use the calculator, but somebody ate it."
If things smell like chocolate, they should be edible.

You must invent the pudding stirring machine, cause I only like the kind of pudding you cook.
And make sure it works for making fudge too.

Debbie said...

Some of those just slayed me! We had some Bimbo bars on our cruise. My 12 year old son thought that was the funniest thing ever.

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

I would totally buy the bacon avacadonaisse. Brilliant. ;o)

seriously? said...

Some of those made me laugh out loud and some made me throw up a little in my mouth. So, EXCELLENT post!!!

forever folding laundry said...

OK, I know I'm opening myself up to major ridicule here, but....I bought the spray batter at Costco last year!! My kids beg constantly for pancakes so I thought this would make my life easier during the week. (For the record, it was actually pretty good.)

OK, fire away.


peewee said...

Keri...You misunderstand...I WISH I INVENTED IT. I AM ALL FOR IT! I was just saying that it was funny how it said "organic" I mean if you're in the market for spray batter do you even CARE about organic??

If I had seen this at costco I woulda fell over from excitement! AND bought TWO. AND hoped they'd come out with a blueberry batter version!

Kathy said...

I want a butter stick...brilliant invention no question. Just emerging from a month-long blog sabbatical. It looks like I need to do some back-reading to find out what happened to Ernie.

rychelle said...

i can't wait until you open your own pasta factory. can i get a friend's discount?

3 Bay B Chicks said...

All of this talk about food, food, and more food, is making me hungry. I think you should quit yoga and focus your talents on just being an inventor. When people ask you what you do for a living, you could say, "invent stuff."

As your Internet friend, I feel like I must do what I can to fuel your creative process. The start of any new career requires sustanence, or in this case, lemon bars. I am going to make a batch this week in celebration of my free time, March, and now you.

Send me your home address and don't be surprised if my kids and I show up personally at your doorstep to deliver them.


Kristina P. said...

Are you being bloggy MIA today? So unlike Peewee!!

peewee said...

ummmm...I posted this late last night. I figure it counts for Monday. Maybe after I go to yoga tonight There will be something interesting to post. hmmmm.

Anonymous said...

ok you made me laugh that bread i cant believe the name! OMG that was funny!!

Counselormama said...

OMG, you are so funny, that yeast infection comment was so perfect fot that pic! They should have consulted with their translators first!

the letters i wish i'd written said...

Thanks for the name check, I was wondering why my analytics was looking so healthy!