Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Tar-get-broke

Why do I love Zac Efron so much? It's wrong. You can mention Demi/Ashton all u want...but she's gonna be 60 when he's 45. GROSS!

I ordered HSM3 on pay-per-view.
BY MYSELF.
And watched it.
TWICE.
BY MYSELF.

And then tonight I passed by this giant billboard with him on it for his new stupid looking movie and I thought "I can't WAIT to see that"

Is this like a mid-life crisis? Am I gonna start shopping at forever 21 and wet seal? (do they still HAVE wet seal??) I mean, I never even made it out of the hello kitty phase!

When I get go in for my neck lift, will I be wearing Abercrombie shorts and An old Navy tube top with Jessica Simpson platforms?

Anyway. I survived target! I think that has more to do with the fact I went there just last week and did some big damage. I bought SIX containers that hold cakes and pies. Like rubbermaid kinda things for taking a cake or a pie TO GO. They are seriously SO COOL. You know, for ALL THOSE TIMES I wanna take pies somewhere. maybe I'll just drive around with a pie now. They have handles on top. I'll just cart my purse and my pie around town.

Today I actually got stuff I needed. I think I was just too tired/out of it to function. I didn't even buy CANDY! That's a big step. What IS IT with target? Clearly my last post got several SAME responses. SOMEone on top has pie charts and codes with the exact formula of paint color/music/lighting/scent ratio to make us pick up bright shiny things. Like, CAKE HOLDERS.

OH! And that stupid dollar bin! Not even just the one as you enter (do you even know how many little boxes/hello kitty notepads/mini lipglosses/ mini EVERYTHING that I own??....) But the one in the toiletries section! With the travel everything and foldable brushes and mini toothpaste and mini kleenex and mini hand sanitizers?? WHY DO WOMEN LOVE MINI STUFF???

What I NEED is a mini wallet.

OH and also last week I spent A LOT on these products from England called "boots"...bubble bath and bath stuff in general...face stuff and what not. Know why? BECAUSE it was in SHOPAHOLIC...And, and, it's BRITISH! So of course it's reputable!! OF COUSE I HAD to have the whole line. it was dizzying. I even bought LIP PLUMPER...and I DON'T EVEN WANT PLUMP LIPS!!!

Hmm. Target is making me type in a lot of caps and exclamation points. There's something about that bull's eye. Remember in old TV shows and stuff they'd use a swirly bulls eye to hypnotize and brainwash people? yah. exactly. no coincidence.

okee dokey. goin' off the meds is a little rough. as you can see.

But Jodie Foster came to my class!! YAY!

Isn't this the most riveting blog ever? I'm gonna try to work it into a reader's digest article. Or a Lifetime script. And when I do...Zac Efron will be playing the role of Chad. In the room next to mine. EEEEWWWW!!! COUGAR CROSSING ALERT!

12 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I have a confession. I have never seen High School Musical. And I think Zac Efron might be gay.

Speaking of gay, that's awesome that Jodi Foster was in your class!!

Counselormama said...

OMG, I bought the lip plump stuff and all it did was sting! and I still have chicken lips! btw, you don't read my freak magnet friday posts, is this just a coincidence? I will look into the doggie treats next time I'm at Target.

Kathy B! said...

The bullseye will hypnotize you into a state of shopping frenzy. It takes 24 hours to wear off. Stay home and self-medicate with HSM1,2,or3 as needed.

Meg said...

Yeah, so at 60 Demi will be way hotter than I could ever hope to be.

Maybe Zac Efron could be your new roomie! Is he old enough to live on his own yet? Maybe he could get emancipated from his parents and then move in.

dede said...

what you need to do is have a HUGE yard sale - it is a great place to get rid of the EXTRA 5 cake pans - you can fly me out and I will be your yardsale manager (which means I get first dibs on everything!) it will be so fun!!

-I have a mini wallet - not fun!

-I can't believe you put Jodi in as a btw - you're too cool!

Kris said...

I totally do not judge you for crushing on Zac Efron. I may or may not have a crush on Shia LaBeouf. And the Jonas Brothers. I know I have a thing for dark, curly hair, but seriously...what is wrong with me?

3 Bay B Chicks said...

I am so coming to LA to start taking your yoga classes. I want to be famous just like you.

The only caveat is that you would have to claim me as your friend...even during the classes where I am breathing too heavily, wearing the wrong yoga clothes, refusing to be barefoot, and trying to move my mat closer to all of the Hollywood stars.

-Francesca

rychelle said...

you are seriously my favorite blogger. ever. (shhhhhh....don't tell the others)

i (still) have yet to see any of the HSM movies.

your whole pie holder section made me LAUGH OUT LOUD. at work.

i want to join dede as co-manager of your yardsale.

i clearly need to visit when i have more than just a few hours to spend with you.

and, yes, target is a mecca for shopaholics. i know i worship there.

peewee said...

Kristina...I think he's gay too...which is why I am probably swooning over him. All the hot ones are gay. And what straight guy has those abs?

forever folding laundry said...

I haven't seen HSM yet either, but I did just watch Twilight. Which might be almost as bad.

The sooner you realize this fact, the better: Target is an evil force in this world whose sole mission is to suck as much money from you as possible. (Hence, the dollar area at the front of the store. Who can resist that?) I give in to that evil at least twice weekly.

~Keri

wenbren explains it all said...

Don't like Zac Efron, but I do love Twilight and everything about it...is that just as bad??

peewee said...

yes wenbren...WORSE! Because Zac Efron isn't CREEPY! But we still love and accept you into our hearts. Jesus may not though.