Saturday, October 11, 2008

this is a cruelty free blog. Wait, no, It's actually pretty cruel.

Maggie Gyllenhall was on the View yeasterday and she was talking, in a VERY pious voice reserved for religious LEADERS ONLY, about a fashion show for designers, who, get this, design environmentally friendly clothes! We've visited this topic before....environmental clothes=UGLY. And uglier. But aside from that? WHAT?!?!? Isn't, like, cotton already environmentally friendly enough for you there Maggie?

They proceeded to show a bunch of ugly nasty dresses that will NEVER make the shelves of Forever 21 (where I awlays shop, of course) (there is NOTHING better than seeing someone approaching 40 at the forever 21 store) And the View women, who will NEVER be caught dead in those frocks, were all like, "oh." and "well, what is the material?" and Maggie was all "THIS dress is made of TOFU!!"

Coco Chanel just rolled over in her grave. (she's dead right? no?...well whatever. details details)

But the best was when Maggie took off her jacket and showed HER dress (which she will never wear again...let's see this crusade at the oscars MAGGIE) and when Whoopie said "well, that just looks like silk" and Then, and this was where I went in the kitchen and stuck my head in the toaster oven, Maggie goes "YAH! it IS silk! But it's CRUELTY FREE SILK"

I'm sorry? Beg Pardon? So, what. the little worms got to live in a deluxe fully equipped penthouse loft in New york city ala America's next top model? And were they fed little worm caviar and sushi on little worm platters? And when they got tired of making silk, were they paid overtime?

I mean THAT silk is WAY different from regular silk, where the worms never see daylight, and are left to work and die in cramped worm cages. Where the worms are WAY underage to be making so much silk, and where they work like, 18 hour days. Gosh, I am SO.GLAD. there is FINALLY cruelty free silk! We have been SUCH an irresponsible greedy nation...but, THANK YOU JESUS, JOSEPH and MARY....we are about to atone.

6 comments:

carin davis said...

my new aspiration: to be a cruelty free silk worm! that is the life!!!

Kristina P. said...

Do you think Baby Jesus would wear cruelty free silk. I do. Clearly, this is an amazing idea.

abalone said...

definitely think you should get yoro in on this movement...

Connie said...

Hilarious!!

Anonymous said...

eh.. amazing post.

Anonymous said...

в итоге: благодарю! а82ч