Wednesday, November 19, 2008

airport feast..

I'm at the airport eating a BK whopper with cheese. It's pretty gross. I know they CAN be good, but this particular $9 one isn't.

ALSO? This just happened.

ME: (SOOOOOO pleaseant) HI! I'm going to New Zealand on the 7:30 flight!

LADY: Blah Blah blah...passport...blah...gate #22..blah blah blah...checked bags...blah....SEAT 37B

ME: WHAT? is that like, there's TWO seats and one is A and the other is B.

LADY: nnnnnnnnnnnnO. B is the middle seat and there are NO OTHER seats.

ME: but it's, it's EMPTY in here. There's not even line. Are you sure???

LADY: mmmmmmm hmmmmmmm.

ME: well, well, what about an upgrade! can I upgrade to like business or something.

LADY: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....searching searching.....YES! there is a business seat available.............window!.........First row!

ME: YAY! perfect!

LADY: it's $7,800 extra.

Could she MAYBE have mentioned that first? I swear, airline check-in people didn't qualify for meter maid jobs, cuz they prob had domestic violence records and/or didn't pass the psychological test under the category of "perverse pleasure in pain" and this was the next best thing.

sigh. I brought ambien and all...but MIDDLE SEAT?? where am I supposed to put my head? I haven't flown in a middle seat, since like freshman year of college when I was poor and late to the southwest counter and got placard # Z99.

I have worked toooo hard to sit in middle seat in middle class dammit! I better bust out the charm on the gate lady and see what i can do and if that doesn't work I'll just accidentally on purpose let my psychiatric med bottles drop on the counter and start my fake shoulder/eye/neck twitch.

wish me luck!!


Kristina P. said...

New Zealand?!?!? Why the hell didn't you take me? You better still be able to blog from there.

Wendyburd1 said...

Aghh! You are off to New Zealand!! I am 1/4 N.Z.!!! Waahhhhh I wanna go! I saw this thing in SkyMall that supposedly cradles you even if you have a crappy seat so you can be comfy and sleep...they should send that catalog out BEFORE you fly though, LOL!!

dede said...

I would take a middle seat to be going somewhere fun - I will probably have to settle for the whopper with cheese! Hope you don't have to sit by one of those smelly backpackers! Have a good time!!

Rychelle said...

i got placard #Z99 once. i had to sit in the last row, middle. between two disinterested men. while i puked my guts out. good times.
i hope you're wearing those spatula pants. those will get you bumped up to first class fo' sho'.