Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Well. THIS IS IT! This is THE day. The day that will MAKE a DIFFERENCE....

....in whether my Birthday presents arrive ON TIME or NOT.

IT's 13 DAYS TILL MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

Seriously, I don't care if stuff is on time....as long as it is BOUGHT. I kinda feel like all of November is mine anyway.

Also I'm up early. To vote? nah. I thought about going early but then on the news they said the lines are looonnnggggg. SO, much as I love this country and all, I don't do lines. I'm hoping that around 11ish, when all the tax paying, hard working schmucks are at work, I'll go. But seriously. those poll workers better speed shit up, cuz SURELY I'm not the ONLY one who is too lazy to get in line. If they were SMART about it, there would be door prizes and those donuts would be passed out BEFORE we vote, while IN line. get us all coked up on glaze and rainbow sprinkles.

And speaking of all those free treats we get, I was thinking on the way home from teaching class last night. (Teaching yoga puts me in a very Zen, pensive, philosophical space. I think it's less a spiritual experience, and more a "drunk with power" high. After all, people in class do whatever I say. I could make them hop on one foot for an hour in the name of "presence" and "endurance." I mean, I would NEVER!)( but I could)(just saying)

And I found it curious that WHOLE FOODS isn't giving out anything free to voters. NICE ONE whole foods! Way to support the community. Cutting out plastic bags just ISN'T gonna cut it.

Is it that they all know hippies don't vote anyway. They just complain about THE MAN and THE CORPORATIONS. Then they get high and don't move more than a couch cushion away. Am I stereotyping? hmmmmm....

Also maybe they figure if they were to give out, say wheat grass shots, that Americans wouldn't vote. it would have the opposite effect, that we would see it as punishment.

Or maybe they just KNOW that, with americans, it simply "wouldn't take." I know I wouldn't be running around all over the greater Los Angeles area to different whole foods to get my free gluten free snacks, as I will with say, the 57 Starbucks in my 5 mile radius, and the 11 Ben & Jerry's within 20 miles of my zipcode, and the 6 krispy Kreme stores that I can get to in 30 mins. I have a game plan, don't worry. This is EXCITING. It's like trick or treat for adults!!

I mean, the future of our country is exciting too, I guess. But I'm veering off track here. The REAL excitement is MY BIRTHDAY!!! I wonder how many presents/giftcards ALL MY READERS will send?!?!?!?

6 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I'm going to vote in about 30 minutes.

I really wish they were giving out free sex toys here.

dede said...

you do realize you are making it impossible to buy you a present - your ideas are so fantastic that nothing would seem good enough - now, I sit here racking my mind...thinking...what would be good enough for you (all the while remembering that my birthday is just 2 short months later)!

btw - one more reason to move back to Utah - no voting lines - I was in and out in 15 minutes and even got a flu shot while I was there!!

peewee said...

no way! they gave out flu shots at your voting place?? weird. I guess states all have priorities. new York=sex, Utah=health! huh.

Oh please, Like I didn't already buy all that stuff for myself :) DON'T WORRY DEDE....I will do a post with things that I would never buy myself but want REALLY REALLY bad. I figure if I posted stuff that was super expensive right off the bat, then people would be RELIEVED to ONLY spend like $100. But by people, I mean my cheap family members. Or people who want to get into my good graces :)

I'm a scorpio. I can't help it. Part of my charm, no?

abalone said...

talking smack about your family members 12 days before your birthday is probably a misguided strategy...

April said...

I just wanted to say I love your chicken button with the egg...HA!!

peewee said...

Dad, first of all, you can't say SMACK...you're too old. Second, i wasn't referring to YOU...after all you bough me a donu-matic 2000 donut machine! You will forever be considered a generous soul in my book (which is NOT to say that I'm hoping you don't squander my inheritance) I was speaking fo OTHER family members like my older brother who says every single year "you didn't get my card??"